Comments on: ASCIIpr0n

ASCIIpr0n

not_on_display — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 21:28:12 -0800

[NSFW: contains graphically sexual crude images]

-'"       `::dHHHHHF    <j      HHHHb: :.: :.: 
           |:HHHHHF         _"-.HHHHP.: :.: :.:
            dHHHHF   ._  - /<jdHHHHF :.: : :.:.
             """      \"-."  dHHHF:F:.: :.: :.:
  _.--'           \ .  "-'  dHHHF:j\.: :.:.:.:.
'"                 \ `. _.dHHHH:::| \.:.: :.: :

Wanna see more? Visit asciipr0n.com, and peruse some of the sexiest keystrokes imaginable.
text adventure • 10 years ago via The Wayback Machine • jscott's textfiles.com has more ascii art and porn from back in the BBS days • asciip0rn linked previously (how to make a starship enterprise out of an old floppy disk)

By: klangklangston

klangklangston — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 21:39:58 -0800

When I was in middle school, I had to take a "Keyboarding" class that was a good 80 percent worksheets where you would hit characters according to a formula and have images (windmills, etc.) result. I blame that class for my lifelong love of ascii porn. (Too bad MeFi always fucks up the registration, especially now that the image tag is gone.)

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 21:42:53 -0800

Once upon a time - say 1981 or so - I had a 5' long print out of one of these from a daisy-wheel printer on wide-carriage tractor-feed paper. The kind where the paper had a subtle background beige on alternating lines for readability. I was only a kid and I can't really remember whether it was more exciting having a computer printout or something that looked vaguely like a naked lady.

By: lholladay

lholladay — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 21:44:02 -0800

Put a bunch of ASCII characters in a certain order, and they become people. Sometime you just have to stop and think, "Brains are cool."

By: maryr

maryr — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 21:52:12 -0800

I don't see it. What is it supposed to be?

By: KokuRyu

KokuRyu — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 21:54:13 -0800

This page has been translated from Norwegian into English Heh

By: Monsieur Caution

Monsieur Caution — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 21:55:00 -0800

You'll just have to imagine that, if MeFi supported .sigs, then mine in reply to this would be HUGE and likely endanger the world's supply of asterisks.

By: MuChao

MuChao — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:00:39 -0800

"Ok, I've skimmed the news headlines, the world's still screwed... Maybe MeFi will have some cats stuck in scanners.... Oooh ASCII porn!" Thank you Metafilter for moments like these, when my boyfriend gives me the strangest looks.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:02:59 -0800

I don't see it. What is it supposed to be? You're lucky. It's horrible! There's a woman with three improbably large breasts doing the most unspeakable things with a vat of squid and she appears to have, uh, penises for nipples and some guy is doing I don't know what to a walrus and ferrets and butter and what the fuck, man?

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:07:15 -0800

___ ___(D ({¡}) Sometimes less is more.

By: Artw

Artw — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:09:08 -0800

Needs combining with url-hunter technology to write porn into the browser histories.

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:12:11 -0800

Oh and ceiling cat is watching >^. .^<

By: rainperimeter

rainperimeter — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:16:58 -0800

who the fuck takes the time to do this? and why?

By: maryr

maryr — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:17:24 -0800

...So it's not a schooner?

By: scrowdid

scrowdid — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:22:56 -0800

metafilter: who the fuck takes the time to do this? and why?

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:24:28 -0800

maryr: "...So it's not a schooner?" The two parts where you see <j, those are ~~eyes~~ seagulls.

By: Avenger

Avenger — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:54:18 -0800

You humans are strange and wonderous creatures. But mostly strange.

By: pracowity

pracowity — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:55:02 -0800

I remember somebody's smirking dad fresh from the Radio Shack in his den off the family room of a Sunday using one of these hyperliterate chicks to show off -- AAA AAA AAAAAA -- his nude hot matrix printer.

By: Mister Fabulous

Mister Fabulous — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 22:57:51 -0800

who the fuck takes the time to do this? and why? I believe it was written in the gospel of the Internet, under rule 34: In the beginning there was a cursor, Which blinketh on, and blinketh off. With thy cursor, the Hacker created characters, And this was good. And the characters when placed together made code. But the characters also revealed a greater truth. If thy placeth enough characters on thy screen, Thy shall receive shapes. And those round shapes appear to be boobs. And the V shape appears to be a crotch. And thus Rule 34 is born. If it exists, there shall be porn of it. And furthermore, the Hacker proclaimed: If it doth not exist, it shall be made! So sayeth Rule 35.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:00:17 -0800

I seem to recall dot matrix printers from the late 70s that could make near photo realistic images (when viewed from several feet away) using ASCII characters and multiple passes.

By: carsonb

carsonb — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:00:41 -0800

Porn in the woods for the digital age.

By: Neofelis

Neofelis — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:05:23 -0800

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:18:14 -0800

The Dot Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very blog. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work... when you go to church... when you look at porn. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth. One point at a time.

By: mingo_clambake

mingo_clambake — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:26:50 -0800

Very comprehensive curation. I'm glad to see they had all the (goat.cx) bases covered.

By: Brocktoon

Brocktoon — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:41:13 -0800

The End. And Deep Throat to you all.

By: hypersloth

hypersloth — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:53:41 -0800

posted by not_on_display eponysterical

By: shii

shii — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 00:13:52 -0800

I'm concerned that this website enables the ASCII patriarchy.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 00:45:12 -0800

Deep ASCII

By: bdave

bdave — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 02:03:54 -0800

Heh. This is kinda funny. Takes me back. I thought it was a buzz when you could draw on a whole lot of punch cards and a Playboy logo would come out. Some of the contributor pages are interesting.

By: randomyahoo

randomyahoo — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 03:04:18 -0800

Explain the seagulls, please?

By: mippy

mippy — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 03:16:49 -0800

I would just like to add: 8====D -- -- -- --- (*)(*)

By: mippy

mippy — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 03:17:02 -0800

The penis is grinning.

By: chavenet

chavenet — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 03:41:18 -0800

These are much sexier if you're watching them print out verrrrry slowwwwly.

By: _aa_

_aa_ — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 03:47:14 -0800

By: marxchivist

marxchivist — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 04:03:12 -0800

My Dad worked for IBM and he used to bring home printouts like the second one on this page. This would have been in the early to mid-1970's. I never thought of it before, but that place was 99% male at the time, they were probably printing out some ascii porn too.

By: mikelieman

mikelieman — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 04:25:46 -0800

Once upon a time - say 1981 or so - I had a 5' long print out of one of these from a daisy-wheel printer on wide-carriage tractor-feed paper.

1981? I got a pile of ASCII-art on greenbar buried in a box in the back of the car-hole right now.

By: NoMich

NoMich — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 04:28:02 -0800

This one (pinup08.txt) is described as "sultry 80s" but it looks more like Prince. Huh, well, that still works as an accurate description, does it not?

By: ersatzkat

ersatzkat — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 04:31:38 -0800

Oh! It's a lady!

By: Cat Pie Hurts

Cat Pie Hurts — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 04:32:44 -0800

rainperimeter: "who the fuck takes the time to do this? and why" I clicked your profile because with a statement like that, I was so sure that you were under 25. I was wrong and I apologize for my attempted ageism. So, why? Imagine the days before the easy and accessible pornographic download: the dark ages of 1984. 6th grade. Typing class. You've just finished typing your hundredth picture of a windmill, or a mug of coffee or Ronald Reagan. A friend slips a piece of paper in front of you. "What is it?" "Trust me..just do it". After school, I went home and headed right to my mom's typewriter. I entered each character slowly, methodically, following the formulas perfectly. The image started to emerge. I couldn't figure out what was in front of me, so I plodded on. I typed in the last character, tore the paper from the roller and took a good like. Not 6 inches from my eyes was a wondrous vagina. My world was changed ever after. That's why.

By: sebastienbailard

sebastienbailard — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 05:01:14 -0800

I really hope that isn't eponyistical.

By: tommasz

tommasz — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 05:04:29 -0800

I remember people sending these to the one (and only) line printer and then running to make sure no one else got there first. They worked fine just as long as you didn't have anything in the first column. Oh look, time for my prune juice. Gotta go.

By: 00dimitri00

00dimitri00 — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 05:23:19 -0800

Make your own!

By: wheelieman

wheelieman — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 05:42:09 -0800

So is this what you do when Jessamyn doesn't give you enough attention?

By: Cat Pie Hurts

Cat Pie Hurts — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 05:45:58 -0800

taptaptap.

By: gman

gman — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 06:07:50 -0800

wheelieman: "So is this what you do when Jessamyn doesn't give you enough attention?" Yup.

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 07:46:13 -0800

Actually, I have posted smut to the front page a few times before--I wonder if I cross-mapped it to see if it's always around the time Jessamyn is going to a conference... ...well, I gotta get attention somehow... HEY LOOK EVERYONE! TEXTBOOBIES!

By: wheelieman

wheelieman — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 07:47:46 -0800

SXSW should be interesting then....

By: Stagger Lee

Stagger Lee — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 08:26:38 -0800

When I was twelve, this stuff was pure gold. I found a 3 1/2 inch floppy disc full of them once, and treasured it very much.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 08:33:09 -0800

> I found a 3 1/2 inch floppy disc full of them once Please tell me you found this in the woods.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 09:08:12 -0800

I found a 3 1/2 inch floppy disc full of them once something something hard disk amirite something something

By: SpiffyRob

SpiffyRob — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 09:18:17 -0800

The penis is grinning. WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT DICKNOSE

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 09:44:28 -0800

3 1/2 inch floppy disc But when it's a hard disk it's 8GB I swear.

By: SpiffyRob

SpiffyRob — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 11:34:53 -0800

Huh. In Recent Activity, the art up top, all squished in the sidebar, looks vaguely Cthulhuesque.

By: Cat Pie Hurts

Cat Pie Hurts — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 12:16:23 -0800

8̴͖̬̲̻̦̏ͣ̑͋͝=̗̣̱̦̃̃̏ͩ̾ͪ̃ͧ͋͜=̧͉͔̜̬͙͈͎̿ͮ͆ͨ͛ͨ́ͩ̀́̀=͑̓͋ͭ͏̮͈̦̥͎̹≠͇̖̯̏͛ͫͤ͋́=̷̼͕̹̝̘̜̊̈́̀ͣ̉͐̐͛͝D͈ͣ̅͛̄̋͊̌ͯ͠-̴̦͉̮͇̹̝̼ͨ̅̅̽ͣ̆͝-̢̥͎̝͔̘͎͇ͭ-̼̜̗̉ͫ́ͭ̊-͂̔̓ͥ͆͜҉̦̩̫̲̟͟-̶͓̯͉͍̩̠̙̑̇-̢̥͉ͭͯ̏͗̋́-̨̞̖͍̻͇̖͔̖̾ͧ̅̿͒̎͋̂ͪ́ H̢̭͖͓̯͇̯̞̾̊̓͛̀e̔̇̒̀͏̙̺̭̜̫̣ ͙͍̬ͤ̽ͫ̂ç̙̪̱ͩ́͘ơ̯̻̙̝͎͐̿̿͘͞m͆͋҉̛̫̜̟͎̞͍̤̦e͎̰̫ͦͥͨͤ͒͘s͉̲̓ͨ̑̾̈́ͨ.̶̱̥͕̫͔̭̑̅̊̑̋͛̿̓̌ I have no regrets

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 14:33:02 -0800

Oh, my.

By: Mael Oui

Mael Oui — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:52:30 -0800

What's NSFW about a judge with horribly crooked eyes wearing one of those big white wigs? Is there a penis in that picture?!

By: Green Winnebago

Green Winnebago — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 20:09:57 -0800

That's funny, I thought the sexiest imaginable keystrokes would start with 'I put on my robe and wizard hat...'

By: yaymukund

yaymukund — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 21:38:22 -0800

There's an incredible presentation by Jason Scott called The Atomic Level of Porn. I can't do it justice here, but I'll try:

“The man's name is John Sheets— K2GI was his HAM call signal— and he was a bell systems operator who had retired and he actually was involved in a project in the 1970s… called the RTTY art contest. He was the second judge of the RTTY art contest. RTTY stands for remote teletype… and people would create artworks using the text form of a remote terminal and then transmit it via HAM radio to other people. They were able to make artwork with it and there would be competitions.”

Jump to about 14:00 to see Jason discussing the process of turning porn images into ascii-porn, letter by letter. Incredible!

By: yaymukund

yaymukund — Fri, 11 Mar 2011 21:41:46 -0800

Did I mention that it was incredible?

By: azarbayejani

azarbayejani — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 14:05:50 -0800

Possibly the best ascii porn ever:

                       terre thaemlitz
                  comatonse recordings sanriot
                8888:::8888888888888888888888888
              8888::::::888888888888888888888888888
             88::::::::888:::888888888888888888888888
           88888888::::8:::::::::::info@comatonse.com
         888 8::888888:::::::::::::::::www.comatonse.com
            88::::88888888::::m::::::::::8888888888888   8
          888888888888888888:M:::::::::::www.sanriot.com
         88888888888888888888::::::::::::M88888888888888
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       8888888888888888888:::888:::::M888888888888888   8888
      8888888888888888888:::888::::M::;o*M*o;888888888    88
     88888888888888888::::888:::::M:::::::::::88888888    8
    88888888888888888::::88::::::M:;:::::::::::888888888     
   8888888888888888888:::8::::::M::aAa::::::::M8888888888       8
   88   8888888888::88::::8::::M:::::::::::::888888888888888 8888
  88  88888888888:::8:::::::::M::::::::::;::88:88888888888888888
  8  8888888888888:::::::::::M::"@@@@@@@"::::8w8888888888888888
   88888888888:888::::::::::M:::::"@a@":::::M8i888888888888888
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 8888888888:::::8:::::::::M88888:::::::::MM888!888888888888888888
 888888888:::::8:::::::::M8888888MAmmmAMVMM888*88888888   88888888
 888888 M:::::::::::::::M888888888:::::::MM88888888888888   8888888
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    88  M::::::::::::8888:88888888888888888::::::Mm8   88888   888
    88  M::::::::::8888M::88888::888888888888:::::::Mm88888    88
    8   MM::::::::8888M:::8888:::::888888888888::::::::Mm8     4
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            88 8888888M:::::::::MMM::::::::::::::M:::M
            8  888888 M:::::::MM:::::::::::::::::M:::M:
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      888      M:::::M::::::M:::::::::::::MMM::::::::::::M::mm:::M
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             M::::::::M:::::::M88:::::::::::::::::::::::::M::M:::MM         
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