Comments on: No Marriage Until Gay Marriage Is Legal http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal/ Comments on MetaFilter post No Marriage Until Gay Marriage Is Legal Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:24:43 -0800 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:24:43 -0800 en-us http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 60 No Marriage Until Gay Marriage Is Legal http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal The <a href="http://douglassblvdcc.com/">Douglass Blvd. Christian Church</a> in <a href="http://unitedwestandky.com/2011/04/louisville-church-stops-all-marriage-licenses-in-protest-of-kentuckys-anti-gay-marriage-amendment/">Louisville, Kentucky</a> has voted to <a href="http://thinkprogress.org/2011/04/21/kentucky-church-gay-marriage/">stop</a> <a href="http://www.courier-journal.com/article/20110419/NEWS01/304190110/Highlands-church-changes-policy-marriages-until-state-changes-its-stand">signing</a> <a href="http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2011/04/20/Ky_Church_Protests_Marriage_Inequality/">marriage</a> <a href="http://www.whas11.com/community/Local-church-120224919.html">licenses</a> until gay marriage is legalized by the state. post:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:21:59 -0800 reenum marriage law legal gaymarriage marriageequality politics government church religion homosexual gay lesbian By: ricochet biscuit http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656041 Aha, so gay marriage IS a threat to straight marriage! I was told so. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656041 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:24:43 -0800 ricochet biscuit By: liketitanic http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656045 Now <i>that</i> is a principled stand. Bravo. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656045 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:27:00 -0800 liketitanic By: SLC Mom http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656047 Likewise, <a href="http://www.allsaints-pas.org/about/major-life-events/">All Saints, Pasadena</a>. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656047 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:27:17 -0800 SLC Mom By: phunniemee http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656048 But! If you start denying marriage to heterosexual couples, you'll have to start denying marriage to homosexual couples! What's next?! Denying marriage between a woman and a goat?! I thought we lived in America! comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656048 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:27:33 -0800 phunniemee By: notsnot http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656049 That takes guts. Good for them. And bully to them for being true Christians, not the fuck-you-got-mine-Prosperity-Gospel-Old-Testament bullshit that gets far too much of the spotlight these days. Jesus was a community organizer who hung out with freaks, hookers, and the stinky. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656049 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:27:38 -0800 notsnot By: Doublewhiskeycokenoice http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656050 The next time some buffoon tries to tell you that legalizing gay marriage would force churches to perform marriages against their will point them to this story. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656050 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:27:57 -0800 Doublewhiskeycokenoice By: Faint of Butt http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656053 Good on them. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656053 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:30:42 -0800 Faint of Butt By: arse_hat http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656055 I had to read that 3 times to be sure it said what i thought it did. Well done Douglass Blvd. Christian Church. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656055 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:32:14 -0800 arse_hat By: thsmchnekllsfascists http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656060 Huh. I'm really not at all used to seeing Christians act like the man they profess to follow. This is a really strange feeling. Optimism is a hell of a drug. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656060 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:34:22 -0800 thsmchnekllsfascists By: The World Famous http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656064 <em>The next time some buffoon tries to tell you that legalizing gay marriage would force churches to perform marriages against their will point them to this story.</em> I'm not saying that buffoon's argument has merit, but how is it you think this story refutes the argument? comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656064 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:37:06 -0800 The World Famous By: poe http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656065 <i>Jesus was a community organizer who hung out with freaks, hookers, and the stinky.</i> He prefers to be called "Apostle Paul". "The Stinky" is reserved for old high-school friends. This is great! My marriage isn't particularly threatened by gay marriage. In fact, taking potential boyfriends off the table is probably good for it. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656065 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:37:20 -0800 poe By: deezil http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656066 For most people who live in Kentucky, Louisville has almost developed into its own state, as far as it's distanced itself from a lot of the backwoods, backwards politics and rhetoric (but perfect by no means). And today, I wish I lived in the state of Louisville, but living in Kentucky makes me proud enough today. I'm soon to go to Louisville, and go to church (something I haven't done in 3 years) just to drop a few bucks in the collection plate for these folks. Good job, folks. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656066 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:37:28 -0800 deezil By: rtha http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656067 Aha! It says right on their website that they worship a God of radical love! That explains everything! comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656067 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:37:28 -0800 rtha By: Doublewhiskeycokenoice http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656071 <em>I'm not saying that buffoon's argument has merit, but how is it you think this story refutes the argument?</em> Because what we have here is a church refusing to sign off on an otherwise legal marriage out of principle. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656071 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:38:27 -0800 Doublewhiskeycokenoice By: jbickers http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656072 Finally, a story about Kentucky that doesn't make me ashamed to live here. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656072 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:38:31 -0800 jbickers By: cgk http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656076 It is a nice story, but it seems like this is pretty much in line with their being a progressive "welcoming" congregation -- would have been bigger news if it were an otherwise socially conservative church doing this on an equal protection argument. Or is the story here that it happened in Kentucky, or am I missing something? The minister in my Unitarian church did this a year ago here outside Chicago and it did not draw much attention. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656076 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:43:50 -0800 cgk By: Burhanistan http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656083 <a href="http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656071" title="Doublewhiskeycokenoice wrote in comment #3656071">&gt;</a> <i>Because what we have here is a church refusing to sign off on an otherwise legal marriage out of principle.</i> That doesn't refute that argument, though. The "buffoon" argument was about the state telling churches what they had to do. This story is about a church opting to not grant licenses. They will still help you find an agent to get a license, and they will still perform ceremonies. It's pretty much an entirely symbolic gesture, but it doesn't refute the argument as said. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656083 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:47:11 -0800 Burhanistan By: Doublewhiskeycokenoice http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656088 What I'm saying is that the state can't tell the church that they're out of line here. They're free to grant a license or not, or help you find an agent or not, or perform a ceremony or not, as they see fit without the state getting involved. A church that does not want to perform gay marriages or grant licenses for them is in the same boat. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656088 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:49:05 -0800 Doublewhiskeycokenoice By: filthy light thief http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656094 <a href="http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656076">cgk</a>: <i>Or is the story here that it happened in Kentucky, or am I missing something?</i> I'm going with "it's Kentucky," given that <a href="http://thinkprogress.org/2011/04/21/kentucky-church-gay-marriage/">Kentucky voters passed a ban on same-sex marriages with 74% support</a>, thanks in part to organizing and advertising help from the state's three largest religious organizations: the Kentucky Baptist Convention, the Catholic Conference of Kentucky, and Southeast Christian Church. But I agree, when a church already has openly gay members (also, kudos to them), it's not as big as if it were a Catholic congregation. Still, the path to this decision is interesting: <blockquote>In an interview with ThinkProgress, the church's senior minister, Rev. Derek Penwell, said ... the decision is based in Biblical scripture: "The church, over the course of time, has come to a fuller understanding on a variety of issues that even just a few years before would have seemed inconceivable. [Churches] made the same arguments about interracial marriage or about precluding women in church leadership, based on certain areas of scripture. The interpretation of those scriptures made sense at the time and in a certain context, but in a modern American context, don't make the same sense. ... It's not like we're going to the Bible and saying, 'We don't like it, we're going to ignore it.'" [...] <strong>"At some point, we're going to look back on this and wonder why it was that big of a deal.</strong>"</blockquote>Amen. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656094 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:51:06 -0800 filthy light thief By: The World Famous http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656097 <em>A church that does not want to perform gay marriages or grant licenses for them is in the same boat.</em> Again, I'm not saying the buffoon's argument has merit, but that assertion, while true, does not follow from this situation. Is it unreasonable to expect, once same-sex marriage is recognized as an inalienable Constitutional right, that there will at the very least be high-level litigation about whether or not a church can lawfully discriminate against same-sex couples by refusing to marry them? I don't think it is. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656097 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:54:24 -0800 The World Famous By: Navelgazer http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656100 Applause. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656100 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 13:55:27 -0800 Navelgazer By: munchingzombie http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656112 I have heard straight couples say they wont get married until I can. A church doing the same is lovely, but makes me uncomfortable. The state isn't stopping you from performing marriages. Gay and lesbian friends of mine have been married in their churches. So, I am quite glad to hear they will keep on performing marriage rites for same-sex and opposite-sex couples but will just refuse to sign those licenses. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656112 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:00:36 -0800 munchingzombie By: Doublewhiskeycokenoice http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656113 <em>Is it unreasonable to expect, once same-sex marriage is recognized as an inalienable Constitutional right, that there will at the very least be high-level litigation about whether or not a church can lawfully discriminate against same-sex couples by refusing to marry them? I don't think it is.</em> I dunno. Interracial marriage is an inalienable Constitutional right and there doesn't seem to be much question that <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=96577&page=1">assholes like this are free to be assholes</a>. Catholic Churches are free to refuse to marry divorced people, and getting married after a divorce is an inalienable Constitutional right. What authority would a gay couple point to in support of the proposition that their state can compel a church to marry them against its wishes? Especially in the face of a great deal of authority to the contrary. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656113 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:00:36 -0800 Doublewhiskeycokenoice By: rtha http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656120 <em>s it unreasonable to expect, once same-sex marriage is recognized as an inalienable Constitutional right, that there will at the very least be high-level litigation about whether or not a church can lawfully discriminate against same-sex couples by refusing to marry them? I don't think it is. </em> I don't know if it's reasonable to expect that or not; people are often nuttier than I expect them to be. Were there waves of legislation after <em>Loving v. Virginia?</em> I feel pretty certain that somewhere in this nation of ours there are religious bodies that will not marry certain kinds of couples (interracial, interfaith), and perhaps there are cases wending their way through the state and circuit courts that I haven't heard about. As things currently stand, an Orthodox Jewish synagogue is not required by the government to marry a Catholic and a Jew; a Baptist church is not required to marry a couple of Episcopalians. No organization is required to marry a woman who is 40 years senior to her groom. We have civil rights laws on the books that say you cannot discriminate on the basis of religion, yet churches et al. do this all the time without being sued. So what am I missing? Is there some secret legal theory or something that somehow, gays are different, and because of that difference, churches will be forced to marry gay couples even if they don't want to, or their interpretation of their religion's scripture prohibits them from doing so? comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656120 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:03:48 -0800 rtha By: ohheh http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656121 St. Michaels &amp; All Angels Episcopal in Studio City CA has done this as well (In July of '09) http://www.stmikessc.org/ comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656121 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:03:49 -0800 ohheh By: rtha http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656122 <em>Were there waves of legislation</em> That should read "litigation." comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656122 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:05:04 -0800 rtha By: Burhanistan http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656124 The government shouldn't require a church to marry any couple that the church authorities don't want to marry. That's the other side of the First Amendment. If same-sex marriage is legalized, then it's legal, and whoever signs the marriage license is rather irrelevant in the larger scheme. People are free to choose other churches or ministers. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656124 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:05:31 -0800 Burhanistan By: Doublewhiskeycokenoice http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656128 <em>The government shouldn't require a church to marry any couple that the church authorities don't want to marry. That's the other side of the First Amendment. If same-sex marriage is legalized, then it's legal, and whoever signs the marriage license is rather irrelevant in the larger scheme. People are free to choose other churches or ministers.</em> That's exactly what I've been saying. I don't think anybody here would disagree with you. And this church's decision not to sign marriage licenses because they just don't want to (and with good reason, I'd say) is that principle in action. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656128 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:08:08 -0800 Doublewhiskeycokenoice By: The World Famous http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656129 Sorry - I'm not trying to derail the thread. I think that what this church in Kentucky is doing is cool. I'll save the other discussion for another time. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656129 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:08:51 -0800 The World Famous By: DigDoug http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656143 Any time I see "Louisville" and "Church" I cringe, a lot. Too many Southern Baptists, too many Megachurches, too much political involvement. All that said, I imagine this isn't going to matter to any of those other churches. This church is in a "progressive" part of town. They'll just paint it with same commie liberal brush they do with anything that happens on Bardstown Road. But, thanks for doing it anyway, DBCC. It starts with trickle. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656143 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:19:59 -0800 DigDoug By: GenjiandProust http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656144 <em>Jesus was a community organizer who hung out with freaks, hookers, and the stinky.</em> To be fair, pretty much everyone in the 1st Century AD was pretty stinky most of the time. And I think it was Peter who got the nickname "Stinky." Paul seems too humorless to get a nickname. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656144 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:20:30 -0800 GenjiandProust By: The World Famous http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656148 <em>And I think it was Peter who got the nickname "Stinky." Paul seems too humorless to get a nickname.</em> Also, Jesus didn't "hang out" with Paul the way he hung out with the freaks, hookers, and Peter. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656148 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:21:55 -0800 The World Famous By: KirkJobSluder http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656150 Churches and ministers can do whatever they like with the sacrament of marriage. Every now and then, I read about straight couples outraged that they can't have a wedding in the church of their dreams without going through religious pre-marital counseling or converting to the denomination in question. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656150 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:22:59 -0800 KirkJobSluder By: sciurus http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656153 Pilgrim UCC here in Cleveland has been doing this for a few years now. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656153 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:23:55 -0800 sciurus By: mrgrimm http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656167 upper highlands, woot! comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656167 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:29:48 -0800 mrgrimm By: rtha http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656187 <em>Sorry - I'm not trying to derail the thread.</em> Well, I don't know that it's a derail. I'd be interested in reading your views on this, since I keep seeing "OMG churches will have to marry gay people!" stuff as a reason why legalizing gay marriage is bad and I just don't understand how that would work, but if you feel that a different same-sex marriage thread would be a better place for it, you know I'll be there! comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656187 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:36:50 -0800 rtha By: The World Famous http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656206 I actually don't think there's a huge probability of churches being forced to marry same-sex couples. I think the fears of some churches that oppose same-sex marriage are that they will be stopped from doing other things that are tangentially related to marriage, like running adoption agencies and that sort of thing. For example, I suspect, though I don't have any information other than speculation, that the Mormon church in particular is worried about the impact that same-sex marriage as a constitutional right would have on the operations of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LDS_Family_Services">LDS Family Services</a>. I don't necessarily agree with all of the methods and stated goals of LDS Family Services and other similar organizations, but I do think their concerns are at least somewhat realistic. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656206 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:46:18 -0800 The World Famous By: hippybear http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656211 <em>Is it unreasonable to expect, once same-sex marriage is recognized as an inalienable Constitutional right, that there will at the very least be high-level litigation about whether or not a church can lawfully discriminate against same-sex couples by refusing to marry them? I don't think it is.</em> Yes, it's entirely unreasonable to expect this. In the US, separation of Church &amp; State, while often seeming to only be given nominal lip service, actually does stand. And churches are not the only route one can take toward marriage. There are religious institutions which can grant marriage licenses, everyone from a ship's captain to a county clerk. It's not uncommon for churches already to refuse marriage to couples. Whether it's because of mixed religious heritage (I've heard of conservative Christian churches AND Jewish synagogues refusing to allow marriages if both parties aren't members of congruent faith systems), or because the couple is unwilling to go through the required rounds of pre-marital counseling which some organizations involve (which was true of the rather conservative Presbyterian Church (USA) congregation I grew up in) or whatever other reason. We will not now, nor will we ever see, a series of court cases and appeals which force churches to marry couples they don't feel meet their standards for a religious marriage ceremony. They don't hold the monopoly on getting married, and so there's no reason to force them into going against their doctrine. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656211 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:48:35 -0800 hippybear By: The World Famous http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656214 <em>Yes, it's entirely unreasonable to expect this.</em> Really? You think it's unreasonable to expect litigation? comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656214 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:50:00 -0800 The World Famous By: hippybear http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656215 I think about this matter it is. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656215 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:51:03 -0800 hippybear By: The World Famous http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656216 Hm. OK, then. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656216 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:51:38 -0800 The World Famous By: hippybear http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656217 And I'm not willing to do the research to help you prove your point which I disagree with, but I'd be interested to know how many court cases have been brought trying to force churches to do things which go against their doctrine and have been successful in the past, say, 100 years. I can't think of any off the top of my head, so they can't have been too important. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656217 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:52:32 -0800 hippybear By: KathrynT http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656218 <i>I don't think it is.</i> I think you're wrong. Churches already discriminate on who they'll marry. Some won't perform interfaith marriages, some won't perform second marriages if the first spouse is surviving, MANY (most?) won't perform a marriage if neither of the celebrants are of the faith of the church. Some churches won't perform marriages if the woman doesn't agree to obey her husband, and a (thankfully very) small number won't perform interracial marriages. This is good, and right, and as it should be. Religious marriage is religious, and the rules and regs of the religious authority apply. Marriage equality won't turn that around, not with the acres and acres of precedent around it. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656218 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:52:50 -0800 KathrynT By: Burhanistan http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656219 <a href="http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656214" title="The World Famous wrote in comment #3656214">&gt;</a> <i>Really? You think it's unreasonable to expect litigation?</i> I would think it would be unreasonable to expect any such litigation to make it past state appellate courts, and that SCOTUS wouldn't bother to hear any such cases. I would hope, at any rate. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656219 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:53:03 -0800 Burhanistan By: mrgrimm http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656220 <i>It's not uncommon for churches already to refuse marriage to couples.</i> Yeah, I'm not sure about this issue either. If you're not Catholic and try to get a Catholic priest to marry you ... he certainly can say no, right? comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656220 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:53:26 -0800 mrgrimm By: hippybear http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656224 (gaa. from <a href="http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656211">my earlier comment</a>, a correction... "there are NON-religious institutions which can grant marriage licenses...") comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656224 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 14:57:21 -0800 hippybear By: The World Famous http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656240 <em>And I'm not willing to do the research to help you prove your point which I disagree with, but I'd be interested to know how many court cases have been brought trying to force churches to do things which go against their doctrine and have been successful in the past, say, 100 years. I can't think of any off the top of my head, so they can't have been too important.</em> Well, first, I didn't say it would be successful. In fact, I agree with you that it would not. Second, since you can't think of any cases off the top of your head where there was a successful legal challenge to a church's doctrinal practice, I think <em>Employment Division v. Smith</em> fits that description, doesn't it? comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656240 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:07:33 -0800 The World Famous By: easily confused http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656241 How wonderful to see this: people walking the walk, and acting just as every Sunday School class I ever attended taught us. Love thy neighbor, treat others as you would like to be treated, all that good stuff. Wonder if I can convince my church to do the same..... comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656241 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:07:50 -0800 easily confused By: Horace Rumpole http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656255 <em>to stop signing marriage licenses until gay marriage is legalized by the state.</em> Presumably a Supreme Court ruling that was national in scope would also count. I suspect that will happen sooner than Kentucky changing its law. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656255 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:19:09 -0800 Horace Rumpole By: running order squabble fest http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656257 <i>I think you're wrong. Churches already discriminate on who they'll marry. Some won't perform interfaith marriages, some won't perform second marriages if the first spouse is surviving, MANY (most?) won't perform a marriage if neither of the celebrants are of the faith of the church. Some churches won't perform marriages if the woman doesn't agree to obey her husband, and a (thankfully very) small number won't perform interracial marriages.</i> That's why the fear on the part of conservative churches that they will be forced to marry gay couples is a smokescreen, right? Church weddings aren't a legal ceremony, and the religious institution of marriage, which is a spiritual state conferred by the church and the divine, isn't the same as the legal institution of marriage, which is a legal status conferred by your state, right? So, refusing to offer a religious <i>wedding</i> to a gay couple will probably make a church look douchier, but it will still be <i>legal</i>, whether or not that couple is married by the legal representatives of their state. By the same token, polygynous fundamentalist LDS groups, for example, have marriages which are religious and cultural but not legal. Whereas when <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33349991/ns/us_news-life/">Keith Bardwell</a> refused to provide legal marriage services to a couple who satisfied all the legal requirements but were of different races, he was <i>ultra vires</i> because he was a public servant of the state of Louisiana, and the state of Louisiana does not recognise belonging to different races as a reason to withhold a marriage license. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656257 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:19:30 -0800 running order squabble fest By: notashroom http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656258 It's inspiring to see news reports of congregations acting with integrity, consistent with the declared documentation of the values of the religion's founder. As notsnot said upthread, it's a refreshing change from the "fuck-you-got-mine-Prosperity-Gospel-Old-Testament bullshit that gets far too much of the spotlight these days." comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656258 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:19:38 -0800 notashroom By: KathrynT http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656262 <i>So, refusing to offer a religious wedding to a gay couple will probably make a church look douchier, but it will still be legal, whether or not that couple is married by the legal representatives of their state.</i> Exactly right, by my understanding. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656262 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:22:59 -0800 KathrynT By: GenjiandProust http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656266 I think, when people say "same-sex marriages will destroy marriage," they mean "same-sex marriages will be another nail in the coffin of our ability to force our religious views on other people" That they will have to accept that their world view is not the only one, not the primary one, and that their "normal" is just a custom. In this, I very much hope they are correct. Maybe then we can get some shit done. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656266 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:26:01 -0800 GenjiandProust By: kafziel http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656269 <i>So, refusing to offer a religious wedding to a gay couple will probably make a church look douchier, but it will still be legal, whether or not that couple is married by the legal representatives of their state.</i> Correct. To force the church to do otherwise is a first amendment violation. Just like forcing this church to marry straight couples is. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656269 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:28:56 -0800 kafziel By: running order squabble fest http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656275 Although this church is still marrying straight couples before God - they just aren't signing the marriage license, so a Justice of the Peace has to sign it in a separate meeting - which is the legal marriage. I imagine people would plan to get both of those done on the same day, but it does raise some interesting questions... With a congregation of 80-120 people, I don't know how often this comes up, but good for them, anyway. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656275 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:34:44 -0800 running order squabble fest By: Doublewhiskeycokenoice http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656276 <em>I think, when people say "same-sex marriages will destroy marriage," they mean "same-sex marriages will be another nail in the coffin of our ability to force our religious views on other people" That they will have to accept that their world view is not the only one, not the primary one, and that their "normal" is just a custom.</em> There is certainly some truth to this, and in a strange way I'd almost respect gay marriage opponents more if they came out and said something like this. While it's true that there's no way a church can be <em>legally</em> forced to perform same sex weddings, there are other kinds of force out there. In the story I linked above, the pastor who refused to perform the interracial wedding was, I hope, almost universally derided for his decision. In the same way, the day will probably come when churches that won't accept gay couples are viewed with the same contempt. That fear, that <em>socially</em> they'll be forced to concede this piece of doctrine that they genuinely feel is crucial to their relationship with their god, is real and even reasonable. But so what? Purity of the races was just as crucial to people's individual relationships with their God in the 60's, but we don't shed any tears for their hurt feelings today. So while that slightly subtler "we'll be forced to" argument doesn't move me any more than the literal one, I'd at least have to give it points for honesty. But it would also require those religious people to have the courage of their convictions and admit that discriminating against gay couples is something they value. Which, is already something <a href="http://www.alternet.org/blogs/rights/143472/ross_douthat's_gay_marriage_moment_of_truth%3A_it's_embarrassing_to_be_a_bigot/">people are already uncomfortable doing</a>. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656276 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:35:05 -0800 Doublewhiskeycokenoice By: hippybear http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656278 <em>Second, since you can't think of any cases off the top of your head where there was a successful legal challenge to a church's doctrinal practice, I think Employment Division v. Smith fits that description, doesn't it?</em> Reading the Wikipedia page on that case, I'm not sure where I see any mention that the lawsuit actually made the church change their doctrinal practice. It's about the state withholding unemployment benefit funding from an individual based on their participation in a church's practices, not about forcing that church to go against those practices to accommodate people whose lifestyles go against that church's beliefs. Maybe you know more about that case than I do, but I fail to see the parallels. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656278 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:37:24 -0800 hippybear By: The World Famous http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656280 <em>I think, when people say "same-sex marriages will destroy marriage," they mean "same-sex marriages will be another nail in the coffin of our ability to force our religious views on other people" That they will have to accept that their world view is not the only one, not the primary one, and that their "normal" is just a custom.</em> I think you're right. I also think that when some people say "same-sex marriage will destroy marriage," they mean that the legal recognition of same-sex unions as "marriage" will fundamentally alter the definition of what "marriage" is. But, in my opinion, that ship has sailed and same-sex marriage is, culturally, societally, and in many jurisdictions legally, "marriage." comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656280 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:39:08 -0800 The World Famous By: The World Famous http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656281 <em>Reading the Wikipedia page on that case, I'm not sure where I see any mention that the lawsuit actually made the church change their doctrinal practice.</em> Ah. I didn't realize that's what you were saying. I thought you were saying you weren't aware of any case in the last 100 years where the legality of a doctrinal practice was challenged. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656281 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:39:57 -0800 The World Famous By: hippybear http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656282 Unless the parallels in your mind would be that people who get gay married in a church can have government benefits withheld because they broke the law. But I've known same-sex couples who have held "marriage" (commitment) ceremonies for decades now, and as far as I know, aside from tax and inheritance advantages, there are no government benefits like unemployment being withheld from any of those people. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656282 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:40:34 -0800 hippybear By: rtha http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656283 A Jewish friend of mine was looking to get commitment-ceremonied to her Methodist girlfriend a bunch of years ago. They found a Methodist minister who would participate in the ceremony without much trouble, but they had a heck of a time finding a rabbi who would do an interfaith ceremony. Lesbian commitment ceremony? No problem - rabbis who would do this were falling out of trees. But one of them was not Jewish? Nope. (They did eventually find an agreeable rabbi, but at the time, more than a decade ago, we all found it pretty hilarious that it wasn't the lesbianism that was the issue. Progress!?) comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656283 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:41:58 -0800 rtha By: hippybear http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656285 Well, what YOU were saying was that you were concerned that there would be court cases coming up which would force churches to marry people they didn't want to marry. At least, that's what I thought you were talking about. Your words were "that there will at the very least be high-level litigation about whether or not a church can lawfully discriminate against same-sex couples by refusing to marry them". There's nothing even hinting at that here. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656285 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:42:14 -0800 hippybear By: The World Famous http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656288 <em>Well, what YOU were saying was that you were concerned that there would be court cases coming up which would force churches to marry people they didn't want to marry. At least, that's what I thought you were talking about.</em> No, that's not what I said. I said that there would be litigation. I did not say that there would be court cases that would force churches to marry people they didn't want to marry. I'm not going to repeat myself. I expressly stated that I agreed with you on that point. <em>Your words were "that there will at the very least be high-level litigation about whether or not a church can lawfully discriminate against same-sex couples by refusing to marry them".</em> Yes. That's what I said. Can you see the difference between that and "court cases coming up which would force churches to marry people they didn't want to marry?" comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656288 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:48:01 -0800 The World Famous By: Navelgazer http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656292 The question of whether churches could be forced to marry same-sex couples comes down mostly to State Action, which is why the crazy-ass "storm clouds are gathering" NOM ad from 2008 had to use a very odd specific instance in Massachusetts and not explain the circumstances surrounding it. Basically: Churches are not State Actors and can't be under the first amendment. Though they are authorized to grant marriage licenses, as hippybear notes they don;t have a monopoly on the service, and can do so under their own discretion (whereas the county clerk would have no such discretion on how to exercise his/her duty.) What happened in the weird NOM commercial case was that the church made use of a boardwalk which was public property for its ceremonies, and would not by State Law be able to continue to do so unless the ceremonies were free to all. So that's how this could come up in litigation. <small>Please forgive me if I'm wrong about some details; I'm working from memory.</small> comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656292 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 15:54:00 -0800 Navelgazer By: hippybear http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656323 <em>Can you see the difference</em> Sure. Can you see the difference between a court case which involves denial of unemployment benefits to someone who took peyote as part of their religious ceremony and a hypothetical court case which would determine whether a church can discriminate against same-sex couples wanting to be married? comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656323 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 16:09:58 -0800 hippybear By: The World Famous http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656348 <em>Can you see the difference between a court case which involves denial of unemployment benefits to someone who took peyote as part of their religious ceremony and a hypothetical court case which would determine whether a church can discriminate against same-sex couples wanting to be married?</em> Yes, hippybear, I can distinguish <em>Smith</em> in several ways. <strong>That's why I have repeatedly, expressly, and unequivocally agreed with you regarding the likely outcome of such a challenge.</strong> comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656348 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 16:16:48 -0800 The World Famous By: hippybear http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656356 Good. Then back off. Your method of interaction is what makes me keep poking, because I'm feeling poked myself. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656356 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 16:20:21 -0800 hippybear By: East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656382 This is wonderful, and I hope more people will directly contradict the Bible, including the directly-quoted word of God, in order to treat other people equally and celebrate their love. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656382 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 16:37:49 -0800 East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 By: Navelgazer http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656394 I think it's more of a contradiction of the Bible not to love one's neighbor as oneself. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656394 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 16:43:38 -0800 Navelgazer By: herbplarfegan http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656429 <em>...bully to them for being true Christians, not the fuck-you-got-mine-Prosperity-Gospel-Old-Testament bullshit that gets far too much of the spotlight these days. Jesus was a community organizer who hung out with freaks, hookers, and the stinky.</em> I would disagree that there's any reason for the huge false dichotomy in calling these folks "true" Christians-- the Bible is supposed to be the unerring word of God, and claiming that "cultural differences" and such account for far-from-literal readings of their holy book is one of their most salient hypocrisies. A moderate reading of the Bible leaves you with so little non-polarizing material, one wonders why bother with it in the first place. It's remarkably encouraging to hear that this is happening-- makes me wish that all churches did this at once and spear-headed the civil rites of my gay neighbors into a reality tomorrow, but it doesn't change the fact that Christianity itself is total fallacy. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656429 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 17:00:20 -0800 herbplarfegan By: gauche http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656451 <em>This is wonderful, and I hope more people will directly contradict the Bible, including the directly-quoted word of God, in order to treat other people equally and celebrate their love.</em> I don't see where the Bible has anything to say, one way or the other, about gay marriage. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656451 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 17:11:31 -0800 gauche By: joe lisboa http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656529 <i>And I think it was Peter who got the nickname "Stinky."</i> That is Pope Stinky the First to you, thankyouverymuch. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656529 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 17:55:27 -0800 joe lisboa By: joe lisboa http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656530 <i>but they had a heck of a time finding a rabbi who would do an interfaith ceremony. Lesbian commitment ceremony? No problem - rabbis who would do this were falling out of trees. But one of them was not Jewish? Nope.</i> Oy gay? comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656530 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 17:55:52 -0800 joe lisboa By: hippybear http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656583 <em>but they had a heck of a time finding a rabbi who would do an interfaith ceremony. Lesbian commitment ceremony? No problem - rabbis who would do this were falling out of trees. But one of them was not Jewish? Nope. Oy gay?</em> There's good background on <a href="http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Sex_and_Sexuality/Homosexuality/Same_Sex_Marriage.shtml">this page</a> about same-sex marriage and Judaism. It doesn't seem to be quite the issue for many of the movements. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656583 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 18:39:02 -0800 hippybear By: epsilon http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656587 This is certainly an interesting way of going about protesting this issue and I applaud them, however I think it would be much more amazing if a church were to engage in some old school civil disobedience sign a issue a marriage license for a gay couple in contrivance of state law. In most states there does not appear to be a real penalty for doing this, the license just isn't accepted by the state, but if churches started giving out licenses (official or otherwise) and people started returning them to the states signed in protest maybe something would change. This could be progressive Christianity's Gavin Newsom moment so to speak. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656587 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 18:42:14 -0800 epsilon By: Navelgazer http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656598 I should clarify my previous comment that the Massachusetts church in question had an exclusive lease on their part of the boardwalk, which thus brought State Action into the equation. If it were simply public land that anybody, including churches, were free to do with as they wished, then forcing policy doctrine upon the church wouldn't be applicable. The lease is what brings in a state actor. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656598 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 18:58:36 -0800 Navelgazer By: Navelgazer http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656607 Also, it was New Jersey, not Massachusetts, which probably makes more sense. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656607 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 19:01:06 -0800 Navelgazer By: Roman Graves http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656723 Late to the party, and I just want to pointlessly add that I had my first real kiss in front of that church on a freezing winter day. Go them! comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656723 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 20:47:18 -0800 Roman Graves By: nangar http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3656779 A move like this underlines that there's a religious freedom issue at stake here, as well as a civil rights issue for gay couples regardless of whether they're religious or not. Opponents of gay marriage oppose it usually because they consider marriage to be a sacrament, and they object to the state endorsing marriages that violate their definition of the sacrament. But banning gay marriages means that some religions' marriages are recognized while others' aren't. How does the state get to decide what is and is not a valid sacrament? How is it that civil marriages are only conducted if they would be potential recognized as valid marriages if the people involved were members of those religions. If we want to get more states to recognize gay marriage we need to capitalize on tolerance that's already there. There are an awful lot of people who don't personally accept gay marriage and consider homosexuality sinful, who nevertheless recognize the right of people to live their own lives even if that involves doing things they wouldn't do, and recognize the right of other people to practice their own religions even though their beliefs are different than theirs. Liberals seem unwilling to present a libertarian argument for gay marriage, or even recognize that an audience for it exists. I think this is a mistake. Symbolic gestures like this one by the Douglass Boulevard Christian Church and others are a step in the right direction. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3656779 Mon, 25 Apr 2011 22:08:50 -0800 nangar By: Billiken http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3657655 <i>If you're not Catholic and try to get a Catholic priest to marry you ... he certainly can say no, right?</i> He certainly can say no, and if you are Catholic and your spouse-to-be isn't, he can also say that your marriage is invalid and that she will have to convert and you'll have to be re-married in the church before you can receive sacraments. Oh dear...that seems to have struck a nerve... comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3657655 Tue, 26 Apr 2011 09:33:45 -0800 Billiken By: KirkJobSluder http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3657703 Going from memory for the case brought up by Navelgazer, I'm not certain it was even that. The Ocean Grove Camp Meeting Association owned a recreational building (often described as a gazebo) on the beach, and received tax benefits for openly renting that property as a service to the public. The church denied a gay couple the use of the property for a marriage ceremony. The State of New Jersey said that if the property is going to be rented as a public accommodation, the association must comply with anti-discrimination laws that apply to public accommodations. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3657703 Tue, 26 Apr 2011 09:55:56 -0800 KirkJobSluder By: rtha http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3657762 <em>Liberals seem unwilling to present a libertarian argument for gay marriage, or even recognize that an audience for it exists. I think this is a mistake. Symbolic gestures like this one by the Douglass Boulevard Christian Church and others are a step in the right direction.</em> I'm sorry, what? Me and pretty much everyone I know (most or none of whom would label themselves libertarian), as well as many or all of the organizations fighting for same-sex marriage have made the point ad nauseum that marriage as she is wrote in these United States is a <em>civil</em> matter, and that religious arguments about marriage should not come into play when talking about which couples the government recognizes as married. Likewise, we make the argument that legalizing same-sex marriage is not going to mean a damn thing, functionally speaking, for people who are not and do not want to be personally same-sex-married. That allowing other kinds of people to get married does not change your own situation at all. Or is there some other argument that you are labeling "libertarian" that you don't see being addressed? comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3657762 Tue, 26 Apr 2011 10:17:42 -0800 rtha By: rtha http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3657794 <em>(most or none of whom would label themselves libertarian)</em> Confusing syntax clarification: as far as I know, none of the people I know who make these arguments label themselves as libertarian. They don't call themselves liberals, either. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3657794 Tue, 26 Apr 2011 10:35:26 -0800 rtha By: nangar http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3658346 Sorry, I should have "a civil libertarian argument." I meant "libertarian" in a more general way, in the sense of an argument based on liberties. Though people who describe themselves as Libertarians are often liberal on social issues for precisely this reason. (Because libertarians are conservative on some issues doesn't mean they're automatically conservative on all of them. They don't get along very well with social conservatives.) But I don't mean just an argument to people who label themselves as "libertarian." A lot of people who don't consider themselves libertarians or liberals nevertheless care about rights like freedom of speech or freedom of religion. I realized my comment might be read that way after I posted it. I should have posted a clarification. The legal argument for same-sex marriage has been equal protection under the law, which of course is a civil rights argument. The public argument has been primarily that gay and lesbian couples deserve the same legal rights as other couples, a version of the same argument, as well as an appeal to empathy. I think we also need to be arguing that banning same-sex marriages is a blow to the religious freedom of religions that recognize same-sex marriages, and raises questions about how the state can decide if sacraments are valid or valid or not. I don't think this works as constitutional argument, but I think it resonates with some people. And I think it helps counteract the idea that legalizing same-sex marriages is an attack on religion, and actually turns that argument around a bit. That's the point I was trying to make. <a href="http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3657794">&gt; </a><em>pretty much everyone I know ... have made the point ad nauseum that marriage as she is wrote in these United States is a civil matter, and that religious arguments about marriage should not come into play when talking about which couples the government recognizes as married.</em> I get that. What you're not recognizing, I think, is raising the issue of what about the UCC, UU's, Reform Jews and others who perform gay marriages that aren't recognized by the state, and why the state gets to decide whether they're valid or not, can click with some people, and get them to understand that, yes, civil recognition of marriage <em>should</em> be a civil matter, and religious recognition is different, even if they didn't start off thinking about the issue that way. If we can appeal to the idea religious tolerance to get a few people to change their minds, I think that's a good thing. If we can convince a minority of people to change their minds can in a close referendum, that would be very good thing. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3658346 Tue, 26 Apr 2011 14:39:36 -0800 nangar By: nangar http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3658351 I should have said ... comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3658351 Tue, 26 Apr 2011 14:41:19 -0800 nangar By: KathrynT http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3658491 <i>I think we also need to be arguing that banning same-sex marriages is a blow to the religious freedom of religions that recognize same-sex marriages, and raises questions about how the state can decide if sacraments are valid or valid or not.</i> My church actually employs a person to work for marriage equality on exactly these grounds. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3658491 Tue, 26 Apr 2011 15:22:15 -0800 KathrynT By: nangar http://www.metafilter.com/102876/No-Marriage-Until-Gay-Marriage-Is-Legal#3659258 Nate Silver <a href="http://fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/04/20/gay-marriage-opponents-now-in-minority/#more-8707">talks about</a> polls on gay marriage. comment:www.metafilter.com,2011:site.102876-3659258 Wed, 27 Apr 2011 05:34:31 -0800 nangar "Yes. Something that interested us yesterday when we saw it." "Where is she?" His lodgings were situated at the lower end of the town. The accommodation consisted[Pg 64] of a small bedroom, which he shared with a fellow clerk, and a place at table with the other inmates of the house. The street was very dirty, and Mrs. Flack's house alone presented some sign of decency and respectability. It was a two-storied red brick cottage. There was no front garden, and you entered directly into a living room through a door, upon which a brass plate was fixed that bore the following announcement:¡ª The woman by her side was slowly recovering herself. A minute later and she was her cold calm self again. As a rule, ornament should never be carried further than graceful proportions; the arrangement of framing should follow as nearly as possible the lines of strain. 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