Comments on: What's scarier than a ventriloquist dummy? A ventriloquist dummy's mugshot.

What's scarier than a ventriloquist dummy? A ventriloquist dummy's mugshot.

scody — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 08:50:59 -0800

Vaudeville Ventriloquist Dummy Portraits. Don't miss the mugshot of The Great Lester, who is noted to have "a wonderful way with the ladies."

By: mean cheez

mean cheez — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 08:54:23 -0800

Awesome... and horrifying. I feel a strange compulsion to write online dating profiles for each of these. Good with my hands.

By: The Whelk

The Whelk — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 08:59:11 -0800

Crow: Oh, you're an ugly little dummy, aren't you Mike-o. An ugly, smelly, horrible little dummy, stuffed with sawdust. A dummy who would never have ham. Certainly not unless he gets it himself. A dummy who would never drink wine. Yes, a horrible, smelly, ugly, stupid- Mike: Crow, what's going on? Why am I in a cage? Why am I dressed like Hugo? Crow: Not only can't you have ham, you can't have any luncheon meats. Not bologna, not even salami. Why? Because luncheon meats make the sawdust in your stomach explode. Citizens, as you may notice, I'm wearing pants.

By: little cow make small moo

little cow make small moo — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:00:27 -0800

Aaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah aaaaaaaaaaaaah

By: Madamina

Madamina — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:03:05 -0800

We once ran a live contest on public access TV. Judges were in short supply, so we brought up our friend Justin... and his dummy Slappy. Not only had Justin written fantastic one-liners for himself, Slappy was primed to jump in with any number of well-placed zingers. He never did. It was a thing of beauty.

By: Thorzdad

Thorzdad — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:04:54 -0800

Creepy.

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:05:34 -0800

Terror, racism, smoking, bad hair, inappropriate use of Bible verses... there is something here for everyone!

By: fuzzypantalones

fuzzypantalones — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:07:11 -0800

i see chucky's great grandfather third one from the top.

By: jsturgill

jsturgill — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:08:58 -0800

The stuff of nightmares.

By: penduluum

penduluum — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:11:39 -0800

From the comments: "the second from the top is the great radio comedian Fred Allen". I can't make a joke about a ventriloquist on the radio that's any better than the one you are currently composing in your head.

By: Curious Artificer

Curious Artificer — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:15:55 -0800

I wonder if Evangelist John Bishop or Mrs. Evangelist John Bishop was the ventriloquist? Or maybe the ventriloquist was really . . . Timmy!!!

By: Slack-a-gogo

Slack-a-gogo — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:18:09 -0800

More Ventriloquist tomfoolery: Mr Show's "East Coast vs. West Coast Ventriloquism War"

By: Curious Artificer

Curious Artificer — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:19:27 -0800

pendulum - are you not familiar with Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy? "The popularity of a ventriloquist on radio, when one could see neither the dummies nor his skill, surprised and puzzled many critics, then and now."

By: tomswift

tomswift — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:20:17 -0800

"I can't make a joke about a ventriloquist on the radio that's any better than the one you are currently composing in your head." Actually, Fred Allen was known as one of the best comedians of the era, with or without the dummy. You'll note that the quote was "great radio comedian" not "great radio vantriloquist"

By: tomswift

tomswift — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:21:20 -0800

i need an edit window, I really do... aarrg. "ventriloquist"

By: penduluum

penduluum — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:26:20 -0800

Yeah, I know about Charlie McCarthy. The line you quoted, that's kind of the rub, isn't it?

By: theredpen

theredpen — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:39:02 -0800

Good old-fashioned nightmare fuel.

By: xedrik

xedrik — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:45:10 -0800

Well, ventriloquist dummies usually creep me out, but it can't be that b--OH MY GOD!

By: chatongriffes

chatongriffes — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 09:59:53 -0800

Eeek! I opened the link, saw one picture, and had to run away immediately. And yet, I am about to click on the link again.....

By: kinnakeet

kinnakeet — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 10:06:55 -0800

Holy moly, Fred Allen WTF? I had no idea. These are ubercreepy. Kinda wish I could delete the memory of those pics from my brain... Also, the Evangelist not only has an icky dummy, his wife looks like a (pretty bad) transvestite. Double win!

By: bonobothegreat

bonobothegreat — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 10:18:28 -0800

#3 was the winner in my book. There's some family history here. Seems the guy married his stage assistant (who was 34 years his junior).

By: Ogre Lawless

Ogre Lawless — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 11:04:38 -0800

I've got a pain in my sawdust / That's what's the matter with me / Something is wrong with my little inside/ I'm just as sick as can be.

By: Purposeful Grimace

Purposeful Grimace — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 11:17:14 -0800

Great googlymoogly, that is some straight-up high octane nightmare fuel.

By: idiopath

idiopath — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 11:27:48 -0800

until I saw this one I was determined not to make yet another fisting joke

By: The Deej

The Deej — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 11:58:08 -0800

I grew up walking distance from The Fox Fun n Magic Shop in downtown Detroit. I went as often as I had enough money to buy a new trick, and every time I went I was enthralled by the vent figures. I really, really, really wanted one, and wanted to learn ventriloquism so badly. But they were several hundred dollars (in the late 60s), far, far out of my price range. Every time I see anything to do with ventriloquism, I am now SO THANKFUL that I was too poor buy a figure.

By: xedrik

xedrik — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 13:25:13 -0800

Also, the Evangelist not only has an icky dummy, his wife looks like a (pretty bad) transvestite. Double win! Yeah, I can kinda see that.

By: Splunge

Splunge — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 13:32:43 -0800

One and three look like the dummy is wearing a human skin mask. One is starting to decay. Time to put on a show, boys and girls!

By: Krazor

Krazor — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 13:33:50 -0800

Holy shit, this exists. Why does this exist? There is no reason for this to exist. Please don't exist anymore. This comment is just part of a bad dream- a dream where each picture is more horrific than the last.

By: CCBC

CCBC — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 15:21:35 -0800

That's Paul Winchell and Jerry Mahoney third from the bottom. They were big TV stars long after vaudeville died. (No one has mentioned Magic yet.)

By: dejah420

dejah420 — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 19:31:16 -0800

The female ventriloquist...it's driving me crazy because I recognize her face, but damned if I can figure out why, or from what. I've spent a large part of my life with black and white movies running in the background, so perhaps she was also a character actor in comedies of that era...but it's driving me mad that I can't place her. I'm almost positive that she's a contemporary of Imogene Coco...but my googlefu is failing me. The Evangelists....yeah, the reason that the one on the right looks so nervous, is he's just gotten a look at his wife and realized that the bride and her brother have taken this bachelor party prank just too far.

By: CCBC

CCBC — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 20:20:24 -0800

dejah420: That's Annabelle Short, ventriloquist-stripper (or not -- see here).

By: dantsea

dantsea — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 01:11:46 -0800

Dummies are nightmare fuel, but the gent with his hand up the puppet's butt in the first picture was an appropriate for his era hottie. Rawr.