Comments on: He

He

sharksandwich — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 15:21:49 -0800

He no longer resembles a human. Saw the video premiere last night on MTV (download if you can stomach it). At first jocko's face is concealed, but then the result of years of mutilation is revealed. I've always wondered what an earthling would grow up to look like on a planet with slightly different climate and gravity, and er, well, you'll see. I understand Brando getting involved, but Michael Madsen and Chris Tucker must really need the cash. The...horror.... The... horror...

By: c

Wed, 03 Oct 2001 15:40:06 -0800

I've always wondered what an earthling would grow up to look like on a planet with slightly different climate and gravity, yeah and ive always wondered what an earthling would grow up to look like after years of childhood pressure, abuse, and and unrelenting spotlight. lets make fun of a poor mans self loathing. half of all of hollywoods woman are just as 'mutilated' except we are trained to see them as 'hot.' leave him alone. hes the king of pop! and you know he at one time must have rocked your booty!

By: bradth27

bradth27 — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 15:46:26 -0800

The premiere on MTV was last night? I saw it on VH1 last weekend..odd. we are talking about the 16 minute piece of crap , right? anyway, I thought it was so funny. I mean, Michael walks into the bar, and starts dancing around and acting suave.... how many bars like that would even let him through the door before they knifed him? and, can we stand another dance-o-rama faceoff? That was just terrible. The music reminded me of something off of Off the Wall, or Thriller. I can't believe this is the NEW AWESOME SOUND everyone has been talking about...... Poor Michael.

By: Doug

Doug — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 15:47:36 -0800

Interesting, I hadn't noticed that anything unusual was going on with Michael Jackson. Thanks for the post, very informative.

By: geoffrey

geoffrey — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 15:48:18 -0800

I saw that video last week. It was so creepy. It was like he was wearing a fleshy mask. If you were to see that face in a dark alley you would most likely soil yourself.

By: Summer

Summer — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 15:51:00 -0800

He never rocked my booty. Since he did that Jesus pose at the Brit awards a few years back he's deserved no mercy. He's a freak and his ((current) songs are tuneless, over produced pap.

By: sharksandwich

sharksandwich — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 16:18:47 -0800

"lets make fun of a poor mans self loathing." Yes, I will. He reminds me, in a way, like OJ Simpson. Throughout the whole "OJ thing" I kept thinking about how it seems that many celebrities tend to create their own world, believing they can get away with anything they want in their "world". Methinks jocko is the same way. He's insulated in his world and fails to realize how obsurd he is. As far as his childhood goes, well, he's an adult now and although he can't forget his past, he can change his present. My dad used to whip the piss out of me with a 4 inch wide belt because he "loved" me, but I don't wear surgical masks and I certainly haven't spent my money to end up looking like one of those spooky plastic faced Duracell people in commercials a few years back. I think I'll ponder it in my oxygen tank whilst snuggling up with the bones of the Elephant man. "leave him alone. hes the king of pop!" I will not leave him alone, HE started it! "and you know he at one time must have rocked your booty!" Yes, "So You Wanna Be Starting Something" and "Rock With You" were great roller 'skatin tunes.

By: msacheson

msacheson — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 16:23:02 -0800

Ahh, sonny, I remember the good ol' days, when gas was cheap and Michael Jackson was black.

By: Mack Twain

Mack Twain — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 16:24:08 -0800

I believe more people were horrified by the pedophilia than by the 'frankenstein-face'...Jackson,OJ,Woody Allen:pathetic assholes,open to jeers because they want 15 more minutes.

By: matteo

matteo — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 16:25:35 -0800

it's called surgery addiction, can happen to plastic surgery patients. it's really a disease, as you can read here

By: Doug

Doug — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 16:57:31 -0800

Hey Shark, why do you care that he acts that way? So what if he wants to wear a surgical mask in public, or has tons of plastic surgery. What's the big deal? He might be the worlds biggest weirdo and all that jazz, but I doubt he spends time online mocking harmless people.

By: phatboy

phatboy — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 17:12:00 -0800

His website is so surgically enhanced that it won't even load w/o javascript!

By: po

po — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 17:12:22 -0800

erm.. as I remember it, he hasn't looked human for a long, long while. This is actually more "normal" looking than some pictures I saw about 8 years ago as a kid. I had nightmares for months.

By: arielmeadow

arielmeadow — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 17:27:37 -0800

Is there anywhere else to see the video? I'm on a cable modem, but I'm only getting a couple frames a minute of the stream from MJ's website.

By: obiwanwasabi

obiwanwasabi — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 17:32:00 -0800

Yes, "So You Wanna Be Starting Something" and "Rock With You" were great roller 'skatin tunes Wha...no, must resist...oh god, flashback... You are in a poorly lit skating rink. George Michael begs somebody to wake him up before they go-go. There are exits to: candy bar; skate counter; arcade machines; rink. go skate counter A girl who looks like Madonna on crack asks 'What size?' say 8 You receive: 1 size 6 left rollerskate 1 size 9 right rollerskate Michael Jackson insists that Billy Jean is not his lover. put on rollerskates The laces snap. The trucks on the right skate are bent. The outer wheels on the left skate squeak. go arcade The following machines are here: Gauntlet; Galaga; Moon Patrol. play Moon Patrol You can't - there is gum in the coin slot. play Galaga You can't - there is gum in the coin slot. play Gauntlet You put 20c in the slot. You play Green Elf. A bigger kid puts 20c in the slot. The bigger kid shoots your food. Green Elf needs food. Green Elf needs food. play Gauntlet You put another 20c in the slot. The bigger kid punches you in the stomach. You fall down. The bigger kid takes your money. get up You have no laces on your skates. Your feet go in different directions. Your ankle twists. You hear something snap. Cyndi Lauper says that it's good enough for you, and it's good enough for her, too, good enough, good enough, aiyaiyaiyaiyai yeah, whoo...

By: kevspace

kevspace — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 17:35:37 -0800

Everyone's got a right to become a total weirdo. Hey, if people gave me tons of money, I wouldn't surgically alter my face a hundred times, but produce overlong self-indulgent "short films" and stream them for public mockery? You bet!

By: kittyb

kittyb — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 17:36:31 -0800

My guess is that this all the weirdness is somehow a part of his preparations to play Edgar Allen Poe in a long-awaited project that was due to begin production a year ago. Maybe he wasn't pale enough for filming then? It's hard to mock a man I feel so much pity for, really, but oy. Poe? Edgar Allen Poe?! Sweet Jebus, no!

By: athensltd

athensltd — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 17:36:31 -0800

do yourself a favor arielmeadow, and STOP LOOKING NOW. it's 15 minutes that would be better served researching the aforementioned plastic surgery addiction in the journal of the american medical association...or sculpting navel lint

By: thirteen

thirteen — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 17:38:06 -0800

Another never been rocked by Michael booty over here!

By: rebeccablood

rebeccablood — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 17:38:38 -0800

mack twain: about a year after the abuse charges were made, I read in variety (I believe) that it was widely accepted in the industry that those charges were, in fact, an extortion attempt. just fyi. as for the rest, I've always marvelled that he is as *normal* as he is. can you imagine what it's like to be 4 years old and having security guards surround you because you are in danger of being crushed by the hoard of screaming adolescent girls who love you so much they want to touch you?

By: tommasz

tommasz — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 17:44:23 -0800

I was rocked, sort of, in the good ol' Jackson 5 days. Back when the same radio station played (get this) white and black artists! Of course, we all thought the line "I'm a gonna teach you how to get an A!" was really "how to get an egg!". See, we were all just learning about human reproduction and well... You had to be there.

By: jcterminal

jcterminal — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 17:53:50 -0800

"He might be the worlds biggest weirdo and all that jazz, but I doubt he spends time online mocking harmless people." then he is even more worthless!!!

By: suprfli

suprfli — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 18:28:02 -0800

the only thing good about that video was chris tucker. the guy seemed to have better dance moves than jacko and all of his lines where he kept using titles of michael jackson songs was funny as hell. besides chris tucker the video was downright creepy. would it be possible for jackson to grab his dick and tap his hat more often? who is jackson's choreographer? has he been sleeping in a time machine b/c the dance moves look like the same ones he's been doing since the 80's and the video looks like a rehashed beat it. marlon brandon was scary. it's become almost impossible to decipher what he says.

By: hellinskira

hellinskira — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 18:36:22 -0800

Hey, nice work Obiwanwasabi. I spent all my money on Ikari Warriors though. That and trying to get up the courage to ask some girl if she would 'Go with me'. Now I realize it only takes beer. Sweet, sweet beer.

By: jpoulos

jpoulos — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 18:57:09 -0800

. I understand Brando getting involved, but Michael Madsen and Chris Tucker must really need the cash. What the hell are you talking about?

By: emptyage

emptyage — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 19:02:46 -0800

It could be worse, he could be making himself into some sort of animal like "catwoman" Jocelyne Wildenstein

By: nakedjon

nakedjon — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 19:07:42 -0800

Yeah...I'm trying hard to give MJ the doubt of it all...but once you mess with your nose that many times...there's no going back.

By: websavvy

websavvy — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 19:08:34 -0800

You guys are soo cool for picking on Michael. I feel sorry for you.

By: bunnyfire

bunnyfire — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 19:10:27 -0800

I can't help but wonder if that face is really a mask....or if he and janet are really the same person.... what is REALLY scary is Michael Jackson and I are the same age.....shudder....for that matter so is Madonna.....

By: bunnyfire

bunnyfire — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 19:10:27 -0800

By: hotdoughnutsnow

hotdoughnutsnow — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 19:10:34 -0800

Yo, ding dong ding dong, yo. you ain't nothin - you ain't nothin!

By: ColdChef

ColdChef — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 19:20:37 -0800

Yo, ding dong ding dong, yo. you ain't nothin - you ain't nothin! OMG! I thought I was the only person who remembered that. Ding Dong, yo! "Where you been man? We ain't seen you 'round Burgerworld lately." "Oh, you know...around." "You ain't fat! You ain't nothin'!"

By: raysmj

raysmj — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 19:22:30 -0800

Michael Jackson talk aside for a sec, but related: Chris Tucker is the most irksome celebrity alive. Exhibit A being his "acting" in "The Fifth Element." The single most annoying performance I've ever seen on film, ever - like fingernails scratching a blackboard, only about 10 times worse.

By: glenwood

glenwood — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 19:34:05 -0800

can you imagine what it's like to be 4 years old and having security guards surround you because you are in danger of being crushed by the hoard of screaming adolescent girls who love you so much they want to touch you? No. But Donny Osmond can. And he still looks like an earthling. Sort of.

By: verdezza

verdezza — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 19:50:13 -0800

My thoughts exactly.

By: dnash

dnash — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 20:19:19 -0800

When I saw this "video" last week, I knew Jacko's career is over. There's absolutely nothing new about this. First, doing a 15 minute video in a time when even the music video channels don't play videos anymore. Then the dance moves are the same ones he's been doing since Billie Jean and it's just boring now. Add to that, this whole video looks just like the one for Smooth Criminal - fedoras, mobster-style suits, set in a bar. And on top of all that, his creepy face. Defend him how you will, there's no getting around that his face would scare small children now. It practically glows even under the shadow of his hat. (Note how much time he spends looking down.) He should just disappear into his never-never land mansion.

By: Charmian

Charmian — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 20:27:26 -0800

Out of curiosity, do you think it was the pedophilia accusations that wrecked his career, or just the passage of time?

By: blackholebrain

blackholebrain — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 21:04:30 -0800

"C"--

"...we are trained to see them as 'hot'"??

You couldn't 'train' *Freako*s own Neverland monkeys [using cocaine-laced bananas] to ever -EVER- look at his self-mutilated white-ass weirdness and think 'hot'...

"...poor mans self loathing"??

*Freako* is not poor (there's plenty of money to get help for all the *suffering* he's been forced to endure on humanity's behalf) --- and 'self loathing' just might come from spending a little too much time alone with one glove...

and 'unrelenting spotlight'??

Hey... *Freako* certainly has been able to hide from that spotlight when he wants to; and he must be a glutton for punishment, 'cause I don't recall anybody asking him to release another CD, or throw a 'tribute' concert for himself, or yada fuckin yada...

By: arielmeadow

arielmeadow — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 21:06:34 -0800

Charmian.... Or could it be the scary plastic surgery? Or could it be the close friendship with Bubbles the Chimp? Or could it be the inability to evolve past squealing and grabbing his crotch? Or could it be the fact that he walked down the aisle of his own tribute with his fly down? Don't get me wrong: I adore vintage MJ, but the man has done many things to be a little scary.

By: grabbingsand

grabbingsand — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 21:15:03 -0800

I understand Brando getting involved brando's involvement: approximately 7 seconds of facetime, some whistling, no intelligible dialogue.

By: norm

norm — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 21:17:11 -0800

On the bright side, I think the website is really neat. And it's worth it for "Don't Stop Til You Get Enough." And Chris keeps dropping Jacko song names at the beginning. That's pretty funny. It was like the game in "Whose Line is it Anyway?" where they can only talk in song titles. "This is Dangerous. We should Beat It." And the song itself wasn't horrendously offensive. That being said, the dance moves were passe, the costuming was rehashed, the plot was utterly nonsensical, and what is that stupid electronic voice manipulation thing that is all the rage? Is that like the in thing now? And Michael: please stop grabbing your junk. The high pitched "whoo hoos" and the breathy "uhh" at the end of each phrase don't do it for me either.

By: sacre_bleu

sacre_bleu — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 21:26:29 -0800

Booyeah, obiwanwasabi. I could smell that roller-rink wax wafting over the years.

By: suprfli

suprfli — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 21:32:36 -0800

coldchef & hotdoughnutsnow: can you explain the ding dong reference for me?

By: bradth27

bradth27 — Wed, 03 Oct 2001 21:58:00 -0800

well, I can. Cause I lived throught the eighties, when the only person on MTV as much as Madonna, Duran Duran, and Michael Jackson was..... you guessed it. Weird Al. The ding dong quote was in reference to a video he made parodying Bad.....And it was brilliant. I knew all the words to it, and didn't know a single verse of the Jackson song...

By: GaryHall

GaryHall — Thu, 04 Oct 2001 01:40:01 -0800

17 times walked she upon thewarm sand - now she waits for you accross the river. What will you do when you can't hide anymore?

By: stavrosthewonderchicken

stavrosthewonderchicken — Thu, 04 Oct 2001 02:01:34 -0800

it's really a disease Yet another loser in the New Mefi Tagline Beauty Pageant. No seriously, folks, I got a million of 'em. What I really wanted to say is : Matteo, you may have tongued that link in your cheek a but before you made it, but if I hear one more time about how addiction to this or freaking that (in this case plastic surgery) is a disease, I'm gonna...well....get even more irate. And that's not a pretty sight, I guarantee you, mommies and daddies! Next up, support groups for addiction to ranting semi-coherently on Metafilter. "But doctor, I get the craving, I feel the need, I can't stop myself! It's ruining my life, rotting my teeth, causing my dog to pee uncontrollably! I'm addicted to MeFi, Doc! Help meeee!"

By: vito90

vito90 — Thu, 04 Oct 2001 02:49:40 -0800

Green Elf needs food! Bwaaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

By: MiguelCardoso

MiguelCardoso — Thu, 04 Oct 2001 03:25:54 -0800

------------------------------------------------------ >> Bubbles pops << Celebrity chimp checks out Sad rumours are coming out of Neverland that Bubbles the chimp is dead. He enjoyed an exotic life: owning twenty designer outfits and getting his own hotel room when he traveled. Jackson acted as parent - talking baby talk to Bubbles, and changing his diapers. There were also disturbing reports of him shaving the chimp's arse when he misbehaved. However, jealousy eventually destroyed their relationship, with Michael complaining "I'm the star! Not that chimp!" Later, he sent him to a private zoo, saying, "Bubbles just isn't that cute anymore." Great set of pictures of MJ with animals, including Bubbles (from "popbitch")

By: kerplunk

kerplunk — Thu, 04 Oct 2001 05:04:50 -0800

There wasn't just one Bubbles. There were several. Mr Jackson would apparently throw them out once they got beyond a certain age and get in a new young monkey to be the new Bubbles.

By: Spoon

Spoon — Thu, 04 Oct 2001 05:53:36 -0800

Don't you think that a lot of what this film is saying is: "no, really I am an aggressive woman lovin' man"

By: jenwells

jenwells — Thu, 04 Oct 2001 06:07:38 -0800

Check out Don't stop 'til you get enough. If he's really in some kind of plastic surgery addiction loop, wouldn't it be kind of cool if, since he's now about as far from his original appearance as he could be, he started having surgeries to restore him to his old face?

By: whatnot

whatnot — Thu, 04 Oct 2001 08:00:16 -0800

Back to the video, I didn't appreciate him slapping the girl's ass about 5 seconds after meeting her. Reminds me of that SNL sketch a few years back where Michael's handlers take him out on the town to try to pick up girls--they keep coaching him on what to say in order to sound "sexy," and he botches it every time.

By: euphorb

euphorb — Thu, 04 Oct 2001 11:47:16 -0800

Warrior needs Valkyrie, badly

By: cell divide

cell divide — Thu, 04 Oct 2001 12:36:51 -0800

sharksandwich, this thread gets a one word review: shitsandwich. haha just kidding. Tap rüles

By: sharksandwich

sharksandwich — Thu, 04 Oct 2001 15:15:45 -0800

sharksandwich, this thread gets a one word review: shitsandwich. "The can't print that!"

By: JDC8

JDC8 — Fri, 05 Oct 2001 19:50:59 -0800

play Gauntlet...You put 20c in the slot. You play Green Elf. (comic book guy voice) What sort of alternate universe is this? Gauntlet for only 20 cents?! Normal mortals paid 25 cents! Playing "Green Elf?" That privilege was not bestowed upon us until Gauntlet II! The elf from the first game was always green, and it ain't easy being green! (cbg voice off)