Comments on: Fucking librarians.

Fucking librarians.

twirlip — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:41:10 -0800

The Paris Review on librarian porn (nsfw).

By: Fizz

Fizz — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:47:22 -0800

Who here has a librarian friend? (Someone who is a librarian or works at a library.) Who here immediately e-mailed, text, tweeted this link to that friend? I know I do. I know I did.

By: Mike D

Mike D — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:50:28 -0800

(* cough *) I delayed commenting because I was busy sending this to every librarian I know (including the one to whom I am married.) So Fizz, that would be "Do. Did."

By: KokuRyu

KokuRyu — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:50:41 -0800

Just as I was letting this thought settle in, I began to hear moaning sounds. At first, I dismissed these as some kind of auditory hallucination, an occupational hazard of reading too much porn. But then I looked around and determined that this particular moaning belonged to a real woman standing a few rows away. To be precise, she was in the process of being properly pinned to the bookshelf by a male companion. After a hasty glance, I retreated to my carrel The only sound I ever heard coming from a library carrel were muffled burps and not a few farts.

By: nathancaswell

nathancaswell — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:50:50 -0800

My mom's a librarian. I did not email, text or tweet this to her.

By: Capt. Renault

Capt. Renault — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:51:54 -0800

My ~~mom's~~ sister's a librarian. I did not email, text or tweet this to her.

By: twirlip

twirlip — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:58:48 -0800

I am a librarian. I posted it on Metafilter. (It's actually quite a thought-provoking and insightful article, above and beyond the obvious lulz.)

By: Horace Rumpole

Horace Rumpole — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 12:59:32 -0800

I'm currently at work in my library, so I'll probably wait until I get home to read/tweet it.

By: Old'n'Busted

Old'n'Busted — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:00:22 -0800

Oh for crying out loud, don't tell me you guys forgot about jessamyn?

By: jetlagaddict

jetlagaddict — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:02:06 -0800

I work in a library, read this at my desk, and wear my hair in a bun with glasses...hilarious! Secret shagging bed in the stacks not so much though? Unless that's hidden in the dewey Dewey decimals. Related: the Philadelphia Free Library is offering speed dating.

By: ODiV

ODiV — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:02:09 -0800

jessawho?

By: mareli

mareli — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:05:10 -0800

I'm working at the reference desk right now and I need to put my hair back up.

By: Biblio

Biblio — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:05:11 -0800

I'm an unemployed librarian, so I wasn't sure if I should tweet this at myself or if that would just make myself feel like I was missing out.

By: nathancaswell

nathancaswell — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:05:42 -0800

don't tell me you guys forgot about jessamyn? I am not getting it on the stacks [watch very closely for the removal of this sign]

By: sperose

sperose — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:12:01 -0800

I'm a librarian too, but someone would have to be mighty brave to have sex in our stacks. It's 50 degrees back there. However, the study rooms at the Lycoming College library were often a hotbed of carnal activities because they were floor to ceiling glass on the edges of the building. I hear the view is beautiful.

By: gcbv

gcbv — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:17:18 -0800

I have dated librarians. Beauty and knowledge. Can't be beat.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:24:35 -0800

no human being would stack books like this

By: The White Hat

The White Hat — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:27:01 -0800

Metafilter: muffled burps and not a few farts

By: restless_nomad

restless_nomad — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:29:26 -0800

Actually I immediately sent it to my porn writer friend. The librarians have heard it all before.

By: buriednexttoyou

buriednexttoyou — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:31:55 -0800

Metafilter: a ponytailed dude taking it from behind from another ponytailed dude while the first dude gets sucked off by a chick, who is also taking it from behind from yet a third ponytailed dude, all while another chick—who happens to be wearing a lovely Dormeuse-style cap—rides piggyback on the first dude, which positions her perfectly to flog the third dude, while being orally pleasured from behind by the second dude.

By: Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish

Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:44:46 -0800

That's not going to fit on the logo.

By: drezdn

drezdn — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:45:47 -0800

From the looks of it, library porn is way better than the "sexy" action bookstores get, which mainly consists of people sneaking lads magazines into the bathroom.

By: charlie don't surf

charlie don't surf — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:51:12 -0800

Of course, I shouldn't tell you this but she advocates dirty books. Chaucer Rabelais Balzac!

By: Fizz

Fizz — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:54:08 -0800

Of course, I shouldn't tell you this but she advocates dirty books. Chaucer Rabelais Balzac! Bookslut.

By: nathancaswell

nathancaswell — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:55:54 -0800

a ponytailed dude.... ..................... ........o........... ........|--\......... ..o~//o...\_...... ..|_./_o...o\.... ../\./\....\ _|..... .........../\ /\..... ...................... man i am terrible at that

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:56:59 -0800

It's ponytails all the way down. So to speak.

By: misha

misha — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:57:15 -0800

I enjoyed this article, except that I just couldn't accept the lovely fold-down bed hidden in the stacks, much as I would love to--I can't imagine any feat of engineering that could keep the real books in a bookcase from falling out when you were drawing the bed down or putting it back up. If someone in here can, though, please share. Also, could you maybe work up a detailed schematic for the bed? Because, damn. Students in my college claimed the seventh floor of our library as the designated sex spot. There were a lot of reference materials up there that barely ever were checked out, let alone regularly browsed. And I know university librarians now that have taken full advantage of their library's dimly-lit nooks and crannies, accommodating wide tables and just-right-height carrels. I've always thought this was a nice perk of the job (provided they didn't actually go kanoodling on a "stack of uncirculated books" because as a book lover I don't want them actually damaging any of the pages).

By: nathancaswell

nathancaswell — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 13:58:23 -0800

kanoodling on a "stack of uncirculated books" shhh, metafilter doesn't do the uncirculated vs circulated debate well

By: oneswellfoop

oneswellfoop — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:03:54 -0800

The 'Sexy Librarian' meme started for me with TV's Batgirl's secret identity (I think her secret lair was behind a bookcase in the Gotham City Library) and ended when Craig Ferguson commented that Sarah Palin had a "naughty librarian vibe" (in his defense, it was a year before we all learned what an evil nutcase she was, and she had just declared Craig an 'honorary citizen of the state of Alaska').

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:04:50 -0800

Do you reshelve self-help manuals as if it were your profession?

By: Hello, I'm David McGahan

Hello, I'm David McGahan — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:07:48 -0800

buriednexttoyou, you really should have included the next sentence following your quote: The caption to this illustration reads, "A Typical Scene."

By: bibliowench

bibliowench — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:11:50 -0800

"Dewey and his Decimal"? I can't even begin to articulate why that sounds so dirty, but I'm really glad we switched to LC.

By: bibliowench

bibliowench — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:16:51 -0800

Although "The Library of Congress" doesn't sound that innocent either.

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:18:21 -0800

Wow I think that was actually the worst ASCII art I've ever seen.

By: hot_monster

hot_monster — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:25:46 -0800

I'll be in my ~~bunk~~ stacks.

By: Edison Carter

Edison Carter — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:45:20 -0800

jessawho? jessawhat?

By: jeffburdges

jeffburdges — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:18:21 -0800

I've learned about the cooter clock today! woo!

By: jeffburdges

jeffburdges — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:19:24 -0800

There should be a campaign of linking to historical analysis of porn or similar to disrupt the pagerank for the major porn sites. I'd lol.

By: pxe2000

pxe2000 — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:20:46 -0800

I know the asshat who wrote this. My boyfriend worked with him a while ago.

By: delfin

delfin — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:33:03 -0800

He... doesn't have a ponytail, does he?

By: Halloween Jack

Halloween Jack — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:34:06 -0800

I, a librarian, have had certain knowledge of another librarian during the time in my life when I had a ponytail. How many points does that get me?

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:43:36 -0800

The only thing I have to add to this discussion is that this is not my first encounter with Bang the Librarian Hard, a book whose charm is strangely accentuated by the curious English deployed within its covers -- the sentence structure is a bit off, and it employs delightful turns of phrase like "turgid cock rod," which, now that I think of it, would make a fine user name.....

By: librarianamy

librarianamy — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:51:53 -0800

I just want to give you props for the title of the post. Because man, not a day goes by that I don't find myself muttering that under my breath at some point... ;-)

By: pxe2000

pxe2000 — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 15:59:48 -0800

He has one of those stupid mushroom haircuts, like Bobby Briggs. Also, he is apparently a little vain about his hair.

By: Biblio

Biblio — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 16:18:56 -0800

Chaucer Rabelais Balzac I played Maude Dunlop in Music Man and got to say Balzac in the most scandalized tone possible, only to spend the rest of the scene in the background doing some business with the other pickalittle-talkalittle ladies where we absolutely pored over our volumes, pointing out all the good bits and fanning ourselves. Best role for a librarian. Marian is a twerp. Plus she doesn't even have an MLS.

By: charlie don't surf

charlie don't surf — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:07:42 -0800

The Professor told us to read those books and we simply adore them all. Chaucer Rabelais Balzac!

By: mfoight

mfoight — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 17:55:27 -0800

Under Soracte (Kenneth Rexroth) Another day, deep in the stacks, Where no one had come for years. Walled in by the forbidding tomes Of Migne's Patrologia, I stood, reading the heart tearing Plaints of Abelard. All at once I realized that for some time I had been smelling a sweet, light Perfume, very faint, and very chic; And then I heard the shiver Of thin bracelets, and a murmur That went on and paused and went on again; And discovered that beyond me In the next aisle a boy and girl Made love in the most remote Corner of knowledge.

By: IAmBroom

IAmBroom — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 18:39:19 -0800

I and a particular lady friend both had our first, or near-first, orgasms with another underneath the library steps of the bottom floor of my home town university. Sigh.

By: Ber

Ber — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 19:49:27 -0800

My university had these little study rooms in the library with full doors and no windows. In my junior year my girlfriend and I would take midday...study breaks. Good times.

By: CharlesV42

CharlesV42 — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:03:33 -0800

http://www.librarygentlemensclub.com/

By: caddis

caddis — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 20:50:20 -0800

yes, smart women are hot

By: troll

troll — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 00:35:39 -0800

The caption to this illustration reads, "A Typical Scene." Where can I find this illustration? I need it for research.

By: CBrachyrhynchos

CBrachyrhynchos — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 06:50:36 -0800

Samantha is a proud activist, a progressive. Her passionate approach to library science also makes a strong impression on the conservative head librarian, an older woman who hasn't benefited from women's lib. There is a poignant cultural moment when Ms. Gustafson turns to Samantha during a threesome and says, "I'm so grateful to you, my dear." There's an interesting little bit, I think in Solitary Sex that discusses the moral panic over the novel as a literary genre that inflamed the passions of young women.

By: jessamyn

jessamyn — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:19:51 -0800

don't tell me you guys forgot about jessamyn? I did not know about this! I was the second librarian pornographer on the internet and had linked to that Nympho Librarian book cover back in the nineties. This guy was the first and I'm not sure where his site wound up. I'm a little surprised it wasn't cited in this article. I agree, this a good article for people who didn't know that this was a well-trod subgenre. Avi Steinberg is a good writer and seems to understand that writing about libraries and librarians [I know he worked in a prison library but I really think of him as writer who sometimes works in libraries and not librarian-who-writes] and yet really... another Checking Out title?