Comments on: You say worst, I say greatest.

You say worst, I say greatest.

hot soup girl — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:23:22 -0800

Drew, creator of Toothpaste For Dinner (and KOMPRESSOR, CRUDBUMP and Married To The Sea with wife Natalie Dee), has a new blog: The Worst Things For Sale. Highlights include the riot police shower enclosure, tub of 9,000 live ladybugs, and $78k ancient fertility statue (which even the sole product reviewer admits is highly dangerous). All products handily available on Amazon.

By: feckless

feckless — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:26:50 -0800

I am a regular purchaser of tubs o' ladybugs. Pshaw, I say.

By: mathowie

mathowie — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:31:14 -0800

I was just reading this 20min ago and considering posting it. So weird and great, it's like a Skymall catalog exploded.

By: Pruitt-Igoe

Pruitt-Igoe — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:35:12 -0800

For the little asshole who has everything, the $399 Blast Zone Ball Kingdom is a great way to kill a square section of your lawn and keep your prince or princess away from the horror of public bounce houses. I grew up in a time before bounce houses, so I'd imagine stepping into one of these bad ideas would be like suffocating inside a balloon that threatens to close in on you. But it might be that in the age of helicopter parenting, a smothering plastic piece of shit feels like home. The Kunstler is strong here.

By: workerant

workerant — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:43:42 -0800

feckless: "I am a regular purchaser of tubs o' ladybugs. Pshaw, I say." I've mailordered earthworms, so I guess my views might be suspect here.

By: Old'n'Busted

Old'n'Busted — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:59:33 -0800

Wait, what? TFD is created here, the heart of the heart of it all? Next thing you know you'll be telling me we both buy coffee at Stauf's or something.

By: vorfeed

vorfeed — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:02:04 -0800

The Magic Flight Launch Box is most certainly not one of the Worst Things For Sale... but yeah, I guess it's probably not all that great for asthma. Also: can't stop laughing

By: redsparkler

redsparkler — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:03:03 -0800

The CDC has officially classified Morgellons as delusional parasitosis. It's despicable, then, that companies are selling products which claim to treat Morgellons. The real treatment for this condition is therapy and medication, but, of course, there is an imaginary and costly "alternative" treatment to this malady. For only $89.95, you get bottles and tubs of inert chemicals to spray and spread on yourself. It would be nice if we could set up an alternative jail system to treat practitioners of alternative medicine. It would be like real jail, except it would cost them a lot more, and it wouldn't work.

By: ChurchHatesTucker

ChurchHatesTucker — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:03:40 -0800

TUMBLRS WE CRUSH!

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:05:47 -0800

I love this.

By: arcticseal

arcticseal — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:06:00 -0800

I had relatives who would buy double swag shower curtains.

By: pompomtom

pompomtom — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:12:40 -0800

Meh... I love my deep fryer.

By: nervousfritz

nervousfritz — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:13:32 -0800

There is an ancient (and dangerous) fertility rite that can be accomplished with enough ladybugs and a strong enough shower enclosure.

By: Countess Elena

Countess Elena — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:14:24 -0800

I am in fact the daughter of a man who would buy four bottles of Liquid Ass. Love this. Drew has just been getting funnier all these years.

By: curious nu

curious nu — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:15:14 -0800

It would be nice if we could set up an alternative jail system to treat practitioners of alternative medicine. It would be like real jail, except it would cost them a lot more, and it wouldn't work. This.. this actually sounds like real jail already.

By: that's how you get ants

that's how you get ants — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:20:18 -0800

This review of this cereal totally reminds of of Apple threads here on Metafilter. What is wrong with me? I ~love~ Product 19! Not because it is healthy (for cold cereal), but because it tastes great and keeps its crunch. How can Special K, which turns to mush on contact with milk, be so much more popular? How can it be that even some "fans" in these reviews take shots at the taste of Product 19? My love for this cereal may be slightly eccentric, but I do not rave about it from the perspective of especially favoring aggressively "natural" foods that are full of bran or whatever. It's crazy the things people take sides on.

By: snofoam

snofoam — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:24:14 -0800

I wonder how much he makes from the amazon referral commissions.

By: feistycakes

feistycakes — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:25:53 -0800

His wife, Natalie Dee, also has a new project: Stuff I Put on Myself

By: roboton666

roboton666 — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:26:09 -0800

I'm trying not to laugh hysterically in tears on the train home. My god this blog is one of the funniest I've read since probably "Steve, don't eat it".

By: sc114

sc114 — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:28:24 -0800

WONDERFUL, cannot stop laughing. I especially loved this: "I can't get up this football mountain," Brett Favre shouts up to Ochocinco. "The football is too big and it's signed by a lot of great players." Ochocinco leans over, extending a hand. "I'll help you up, Brett. We're Football friends, and that's the best kind of friends."

By: ninjew

ninjew — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:43:22 -0800

Somewhere on earth, a man is staking his financial future on Zip disks making a comeback. "What if someone needs a really unreliable piece of shit that holds about 98.4 MB?" he asks himself, leaning on the aging tower of Zip disks in his bedroom. The phone rings, and a man says, "Hello, is this Mr. Zip Disk? I need about a thousand Zip disksahahaHAHAHA!!!" He slams the phone down. Prank caller. It's always prank callers. I'd like to propose a media storage cabinet with zip disk/laserdisc storage. I imagine the people who own them likely have both.

By: BitterOldPunk

BitterOldPunk — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:44:45 -0800

What if I want HALF French fries and HALF onion rings?!? What then? Then that deep fryer looks pretty goddamn useful, doesn't it, Judgey McJudgerton?!?! Sheesh. Like the triple crock pot. SOME OF US PREFER A SELECTION OF SOUPS SO FUCK OFF

By: DU

DU — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:47:07 -0800

Umm...ladybugs are far from weird. They are routinely ordered by gardeners and farmers to deal with aphid infestations. (But then, I've ordered nematodes via mail too.)

By: Chinese Jet Pilot

Chinese Jet Pilot — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:47:34 -0800

Blindingly snarky. The Zip-It Drain Cleaning Tool, Candy Land board game and inflatable airbed, among other "worst" products, are GREAT if you have a home, kids, and friends. I speak from experience.

By: wanderingmind

wanderingmind — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 18:54:31 -0800

I absolutely love what this is doing to Amazon's "Customers who viewed this also viewed" data.

By: etherist

etherist — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 19:47:58 -0800

I've bought liquid ass to deal with asshole neighbors who hold backyard parties until the wee hours. Works pretty good. I ran across it when I was looking for fox urine and other stinky stuff. Is Liquid Ass the greatest? Nah, but it's pretty good.

By: etherist

etherist — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 19:51:37 -0800

And in fact, I did buy four bottles of Liquid Ass at the same time.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 19:58:29 -0800

I have a triple crock pot. It's awesome. Fuck that guy.

By: mudpuppie

mudpuppie — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 20:31:57 -0800

feckless: "I am a regular purchaser of tubs o' ladybugs. Pshaw, I say." I've mailordered earthworms, so I guess my views might be suspect here. posted by workerant at 5:43 PM on April 25 [+] [!] I'm in favor of both. However, from the post:

Also, some guy has to stand in front of a huge tub, counting out ladybugs all day. That's a job that someone has to do.

I have been the person who counted out earthworms, and he's very, very right.

By: 6550

6550 — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 20:34:30 -0800

Wow! Two hundred and sixteen tiny fucking magnets! They definitely won't be attracted to any of the magnetically-sensitive computer hardware in my house and will not accidentally stick to one of my cell phones, flash drives, mp3 players, or my iPad. I like all his examples of computer hardware that won't actually be affected by magnets. That's a nice touch.

By: smirkette

smirkette — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 20:35:08 -0800

Interesting. I'm afraid I don't like their individual comics enough to read everyday, but Married to the Sea is pretty awesome, as is this blog. Thanks for sharing!

By: monkeymike

monkeymike — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 22:06:05 -0800

Whoever came up with these K-Cups is a marketing genius. Maybe they'll figure out an upscale way to sell half-gallons of gas at ten bucks a pop. Everyone in my family is bananas for these things. Every single person I talked to at xmas was either getting one or had one or needed one or was just amazed that such a thing existed. Mom and dad dropped us off at the airport and drove straight to Costco to get one.

By: TangerineGurl

TangerineGurl — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 23:52:56 -0800

Love Drew! Love Nataliedee! And their spawn! @monkeymike Worked for Keurig.com for years and have to agree the machines are PERFECT for those that only drink a few cups a day!

By: Hither

Hither — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 00:29:12 -0800

I assume the point of having the double fryer that if you want to fry fish and also something non-fish, like donuts, you can use separate batches of oil without cross-contaminating the flavors.

By: Joakim Ziegler

Joakim Ziegler — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 01:29:07 -0800

Also, the Amazon customer comment on this ancient jade axe is pretty great by itself.

By: littlesq

littlesq — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 01:38:15 -0800

The Amazon comments for the ABB, DFVHMDC0EBCAABN, EMAX Automatic Circuit Breaker just about killed me. Personally I prefer the HJKYFSDSDBBRY, NEWRU II, but whatever.

By: tumid dahlia

tumid dahlia — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 02:51:15 -0800

This is great! Ha ha! :D

By: Thorzdad

Thorzdad — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 04:32:43 -0800

Somewhere on earth, a man is staking his financial future on Zip disks making a comeback. "What if someone needs a really unreliable piece of shit that holds about 98.4 MB?" he asks himself, leaning on the aging tower of Zip disks in his bedroom. Elsewhere, the man with the market cornered on SyQuest drives has stuck his head in the oven and turned on the gas, the loneliness having become too much to bear...

By: sammyo

sammyo — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 04:39:30 -0800

Didn't know you could get ladybugs for so cheap, I just ordered two!

By: flabdablet

flabdablet — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 04:46:16 -0800

None of them stack up to these devices quonsar found in 2002, though.

By: MythMaker

MythMaker — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 04:53:38 -0800

I think he's wrong about the personal bouncy castle. It has a slide and a ball-pit! At that price point, it's a steal. You would be the king of the neighborhood, children for miles around would come to visit to go in the bouncy castle. In the eyes of your child, you are Santa Claus - every day they can go out to their own bouncy castle. Amortized over years, the price isn't that ridiculous, particularly compared to how much it would cost to rent one. Even if you have no children, it has a ball pit!

By: tommasz

tommasz — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 05:37:07 -0800

The safes are nice and all, but the shipping's a bit much. Unless Elegant Mom or lady in a party dress really are included, of course.

By: tumid dahlia

tumid dahlia — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 05:39:50 -0800

That internet-connected bathroom scale is all kinds of screwed-up.

By: EmpressCallipygos

EmpressCallipygos — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 05:43:13 -0800

It appears he's also reviewing self-published Kindle ebooks. The writing teacher I just had was pushing the notion of self-publication and e-books on Kindle as options for those of us in the class seeking publication. I admit I was skeptical (I got burned by a vanity press when I was a naive young thing), but was leaning towards checking it out. The fact that "the erotic TOP CHEF" exists is nudging me back away again.

By: subbes

subbes — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 05:54:05 -0800

At first glance, I thought this would be a rehash of those ridiculous Amazon items The Bugle was obsessed with (including Tuscan Whole Milk, the Badonkadonk Tank, A Million Random Digits, the Yodelling Pickle) but Drew seems to have cast his net wider, which is refreshing. That Tuscan whole milk is excellent, though.

By: Splunge

Splunge — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 06:33:58 -0800

I cancelled my cable. I grew up in a time before bounce houses. As a person who drinks two pots of coffee a day. If you're like me and you don't drink soda. I'm no stranger to bubbling pools of grease. I cook with duck fat and coconut oil. I go to the state fair three times every year just for the food. I'm not superstitious. I grew up eating Skyline Chili. Could be an online dating profile.

By: zamboni

zamboni — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 06:34:43 -0800

Making fun of the mentally ill? Awesome. I kinda liked Toothpaste for Dinner, but an entire blog dedicated to trolling is contemptible.

By: AmandaA

AmandaA — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 07:26:06 -0800

I really wish I had had the opportunity to see the products on Amazon BEFORE I read the blog, because that "Customers Also Viewed" data is fucking hilarious.

By: dejah420

dejah420 — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 08:26:22 -0800

I just ordered the ladybugs. I have more than an acre of flower, veggie, tree and lawn to cover. Plus, I cannot wait to see the look on my son's face when he realizes he gets to set handfuls of ladybugs free in the gardens. Hee!

By: bad grammar

bad grammar — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 16:52:56 -0800

You may never see your ladybugs again. My folks bought a small tub of ladybugs one summer to put on the garden, but they flew away home, wherever that was.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 17:12:20 -0800

Yes, you need an infested area-- something covered in aphids to entice them to stick around for awhile, otherwise they will fly off in search of insectier pastures. I ordered praying mantises on-line many, many moons ago when I lived in California. I don't think the damned things ever hatched but I got my revenge-- I now live in an area with plenty of mantises. I especially love them when they are tiny.