Comments on: And I Shall Name Him George

And I Shall Name Him George

seanmpuckett — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:37:20 -0800

Plush cows? Plush cows! Plush cows.

By: phunniemee

phunniemee — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:41:51 -0800

!!! be still my heart

By: Madamina

Madamina — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:42:20 -0800

There is a sire named Tebow. Who is getting more action than the real one. In any form.

By: Kitteh

Kitteh — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:43:34 -0800

OMIGOSH It is like they wearing the most adorable yoga pants ever and I want one please let me have one

By: boo_radley

boo_radley — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:45:02 -0800

The http://www.quickbulletin.com/plush-cow-beauties-of-iowa is showing up as serving malware according to Kaspersky.

By: QueerAngel28

QueerAngel28 — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:45:59 -0800

I can't get over how flat their backends look, compared to normal cows. They defiantly have straight lines. When I get my farm, it'd be cute to have one of these, though-I was thinking only ONE dairy cow and that is it.

By: Salamander

Salamander — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:48:16 -0800

Hand over the cow and nobody gets hurt.

By: leotrotsky

leotrotsky — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:48:45 -0800

great post title.

By: arcticseal

arcticseal — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:52:44 -0800

I wish to pet them and have them and pet them and love them. Do they do bonsai fluffy cows for the home and office? This FPP title is the best. Full stop.

By: artychoke

artychoke — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:55:33 -0800

It's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!

By: jeather

jeather — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:56:19 -0800

Their legs! Their adorable flooffy legs.

By: maryr

maryr — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 07:57:44 -0800

I-80 SEMEN AVAILABLE ORDER TODAY!

By: phunniemee

phunniemee — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:00:03 -0800

I'm at work. I probably shouldn't be clicking semen links. But I know it will lead to a picture of a fluffeh cow. CONFLICTED.

By: tommasz

tommasz — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:03:20 -0800

Plush and dairy products, together at last!

By: FirstMateKate

FirstMateKate — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:04:54 -0800

I'm at work. I probably shouldn't be clicking semen links. But I know it will lead to a picture of a fluffeh cow. CONFLICTED. posted by phunniemee at 8:00 AM on June 11 [+] [!] Not only is it about semen, it's also titled "Bojo, one one the most dominant sires".

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:05:35 -0800

Hmm furry tag I wonder where that will take me.

By: maryr

maryr — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:06:24 -0800

Exerpt: "Let the internet junkies top that one! This clean man is yours for the maternal making. He'll add bone and hair in a calving ease package!"

By: jbickers

jbickers — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:07:17 -0800

I don't understand what this sentence is trying to tell me: "built more square than any other in the walks alone line of genetics." Why would breeding a cow to be more square be a desirable thing? (My cynical side wonders if it isn't so that they can be pushed into pens tighter and with less wasted space, but maybe it's just an aesthetic preference?)

By: maryr

maryr — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:09:18 -0800

Where do you think Wendy's gets those burgers?

By: maryr

maryr — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:10:45 -0800

Also entertaining: Imagining that Lautner Farms are the home of Taylor Lautner.

By: MissySedai

MissySedai — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:18:19 -0800

YAY COWS! This is my dining room wall. That's the largest of my herd.

By: backseatpilot

backseatpilot — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:18:43 -0800

He'll add bone and hair in a calving ease package! Not entirely sure what that means, but it sounds exceptionally dirty. Oh, he'll add some bone, all right...

By: MCMikeNamara

MCMikeNamara — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:18:54 -0800

You know, I grew up in a farm town, but reading some of the pull quotes from the semen ordering page still is a wonderful reminder of the diversity of the world we live in.

By: MCMikeNamara

MCMikeNamara — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:19:39 -0800

And by that I mean, fucking bizarre.

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:21:35 -0800

Why would breeding a cow to be more square be a desirable thing? The inevitable result of farmers attempting to be ever-more hip.

By: shakespeherian

shakespeherian — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:24:22 -0800

Why would breeding a cow to be more square be a desirable thing? Lol, looks like city boy here's never played Cow Tetris.

By: sweetkid

sweetkid — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:28:18 -0800

I enjoyed this more than I thought I would. Thanks very much.

By: Thorzdad

Thorzdad — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:30:47 -0800

Moof!

By: usonian

usonian — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:41:16 -0800

These are adorable, but all I can think of is the consistency of cow poo and how utterly incompatible it is with long hair.

By: etc.

etc. — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:51:27 -0800

Call me when they successfully crossbreed them with Oreo Cows.

By: jquinby

jquinby — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 08:57:56 -0800

etc.: "Call me when they successfully crossbreed them with Oreo Cows." Ha, a guy down the road from me has a few dozen of those. I can't pass them without pointing and yelling "OREO COWS!"

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 09:14:26 -0800

I can't pass them without pointing and yelling "OREO COWS!" How do you suppose that makes the cows feel? Try saying "Yay, Oreo Cows!" or "Oreo Cows are the best!" That would be more supportive.

By: divined by radio

divined by radio — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 09:21:21 -0800

Oh man, it's like they're wearing fur pants! I just want to gently rest my head on one that is happily dozing in the sun. Cows are the best.

By: TheCowGod

TheCowGod — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 09:54:16 -0800

I'd just like to say that I'm all about this post.

By: rhiannonstone

rhiannonstone — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 10:11:43 -0800

I showed this to my partner, and he said, "They're teddy cows!"

By: Kabanos

Kabanos — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 10:29:16 -0800

Hairy Dairy

By: Fig

Fig — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 10:46:22 -0800

One grandparent of mine is a dairy farmer... I was unsuccessful at my attempt to convince her that her farm needed a few llamas. I'm now gonna try for a plush cow.

By: BlueHorse

BlueHorse — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 11:08:48 -0800

Why would breeding a cow to be more square be a desirable thing? Built more square means you pack more meat on a cow. Also, you can't compare dairy breeds with meat breeds. Dairy cattle have hatrack hips; beef cattle are smooth over the topline and have deep chests with meaty hind legs. Butchering a dairy cow yields more bone than meat--hardly worth the effort. (And those big brown eyes. Pleading eyes. Only butcher meat cattle--they are the dicks of the cow world--I'm lookin' at you, Black Angus bastards.)

By: hwestiii

hwestiii — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 11:23:14 -0800

Metafilter: It's so much more than Fluffy Cows.

By: annsunny

annsunny — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 11:49:02 -0800

So, they're meat cows? Is someone selling foofy cowhide rugs?

By: wintermind

wintermind — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 12:08:24 -0800

As an employee of the US Department of Agriculture, it is my duty to follow these links. "Calving ease package", indeed.

By: maryr

maryr — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 12:50:21 -0800

annsunny, to be honest, that was my initial thought as well. But then I saw that I-80 semen offer and, boy, I do love a road trip.

By: photojlisa

photojlisa — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 13:58:28 -0800

These are just pet cows, right?! They're too fluffy to be eaten! :'(

By: jquinby

jquinby — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 14:42:57 -0800

maryr: "annsunny, to be honest, that was my initial thought as well. But then I saw that I-80 semen offer and, boy, I do love a road trip." More than you ever wanted to know. Possibly NSF...something. It's all very veterinary, but still. If you think you're having a bad day, consider the guy in that series of pictures towards the end of the article.

By: Kevin Street

Kevin Street — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 15:32:38 -0800

There's a bull named Megatron. Can Optimus Bovine be far away?

By: mcrandello

mcrandello — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 17:01:09 -0800

Bumblebeef

By: zennie

zennie — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 17:09:50 -0800

I'm gonna follow wintermind's lead and assume you guys don't actually want to know what calving ease is. These are just pet cows, right?! They're too fluffy to be eaten! :'( Yes. So don't read the Atlantic article about "fluffy cows' existence".

By: zennie

zennie — Tue, 11 Jun 2013 19:07:35 -0800

Especially don't read to the bottom of this link.

By: eviemath

eviemath — Wed, 12 Jun 2013 10:02:42 -0800

This seems like it belongs here.

By: eviemath

eviemath — Thu, 13 Jun 2013 07:18:10 -0800

What? No love for cuddling cows?