Comments on: ...they climaxed together, shouting, "Benghazi! Benghazi! Benghazi!"

...they climaxed together, shouting, "Benghazi! Benghazi! Benghazi!"

Daddy-O — Thu, 29 May 2014 12:27:55 -0800

Recently, News Corp announced they are acquiring Harlequin, the foremost publisher of steamy romance novels. Here's a taste of the new and improved product, courtesy of Bill Maher.

By: Drinky Die

Drinky Die — Thu, 29 May 2014 12:40:57 -0800

I feel dirty. I have to go grab my falafel and take a shower.

By: NoxAeternum

NoxAeternum — Thu, 29 May 2014 12:41:33 -0800

Corrupt publisher that screws over writers (look up the lawsuit over Harlequin's use of foreign subsidiaries to screw authors out of royalties) bought by corrupt multinational that screws over the public. They're made for each other.

By: rosswald

rosswald — Thu, 29 May 2014 12:42:46 -0800

Dr. Dax Ransom I LOL'd

By: infini

infini — Thu, 29 May 2014 12:43:36 -0800

*Reads first sentence of new and improved and rolls on the floor laughing ass off.* Now that was an industry due for a shake up!

By: zarq

zarq — Thu, 29 May 2014 12:45:18 -0800

"And that's when Hector the Orderly entered the scene. He was unlike any man she'd ever met. He was black, and full of a powerful energy, much like clean coal. Hector fumbled with the condom's wrapper until Rachel stopped him. 'Don't bother,' she smiled, parting her legs for him, 'My body has a way of shutting that whole thing down.' Hector buried his face between her legs and she rode his mustache for what seemed like an eternity. 'It's true,' she thought. 'Mexicans are willing to do jobs American's won't.'"
Oy.

By: bloggerwench

bloggerwench — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:00:58 -0800

Bill Maher's dramatic reading, complete with elevator music, makes it even better.

By: scaryblackdeath

scaryblackdeath — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:02:12 -0800

As someone whose monthly income comes in no small part from smutty novels, I would like to subscribe to this newsletter. Hysterical. Thank you so much for sharing.

By: Wordshore

Wordshore — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:05:01 -0800

If there's ever a competition for best title of a MetaFilter FPP, I'm likely to nominate this one. In completely unrelated news, I've just snorted lemonade out of my nose and slightly hurt myself laughing.

By: oneswellfoop

oneswellfoop — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:08:05 -0800

Of course, Bill Maher got it wrong in the first sentence: "News Corp (the Fox News people)". News Corporation split off all its Fox divisions almost a year ago, including Fox News - yep, it's part of an Entertainment Company now, NOT a News company. Much of the ownership is still the same, especially Rupert Murdoch's dominant share, but the same could be said of Viacom & CBS, split in 2005 - some people still think CBS still owns Comedy Central - and Time Warner Cable and Time Warner, split in 2009 - not to mention AOL & Time Warner and, hey, Time AND Warner are now splitting up... it's hard to keep track of the big un-mergers when the big mergers make such big news. Anyway, News Corp is now the Wall Street Journal people and the New York Post people, which make for as humorous a combination as Harlequin/Fox News, but probably harder for a hack like Maher to write. It's hard to enjoy comedy with a deeply flawed premise (which is why Conservative Comedians are almost always unfunny).

By: JHarris

JHarris — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:20:19 -0800

Wow Foop, how do you keep track of all that?

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:20:56 -0800

It's hard to enjoy comedy with a deeply flawed premise Not to mention that forks didn't exist during the era that the story is based on and let's not forget the status of buttons!

By: octobersurprise

octobersurprise — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:21:30 -0800

Will Murdoch replace the Fabio-looking-guy on all the covers?

By: flarbuse

flarbuse — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:27:54 -0800

Will Murdoch replace the Fabio-looking-guy on all the covers? Not that I or my agent have been made aware of. Plus, my Tuesday shoot has not been cancelled.

By: jacquilynne

jacquilynne — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:30:21 -0800

Up til this point, Harlequin was owned by TorStar, the company that publishes The Toronto Star, a fact that has always deeply amused me. Apparently romance novels and newspapers have some kind of natural affinity?

By: zarq

zarq — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:31:48 -0800

octobersurprise: "Will Murdoch replace the Fabio-looking-guy on all the covers?" With Rand Paul.

By: bruce

bruce — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:39:42 -0800

telegenic senate candidate beauregard white had just trounced his socialist opponent in the debate. his american flag lapel pin gleaming, his thundering oratory of bootstrap self-sufficiency and traditional values still echoing in the vacant hall, he was finally alone with his luscious college intern/gofer/sycophant. he put his arm around her, tousled her blondissimo hair, stared deep into her emerald eyes, and moved his other hand to the top of her loose taffeta dress, preparatory to osculating her erect nipple as the first step toward the manifest destiny of her end zone, and when he pulled it down far enough to expose said nipple, he stopped in awe. she had the american flag lapel pin tattooed on it.

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:41:27 -0800

In related news, it was announced that this will be the only series to be published from now on.

By: ChurchHatesTucker

ChurchHatesTucker — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:43:36 -0800

the Fabio-looking-guy You mean Fabio?

By: octobersurprise

octobersurprise — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:44:51 -0800

Is he the Fabio-looking-guy?

By: Flunkie

Flunkie — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:45:04 -0800

Nah, not Rand Paul, I don't think. The guy the GOP is trying to sell as hunky is Paul Ryan. And to a lesser extent Scott Brown, but his prime hunkiness examples put forth by the GOP were from like 30 years ago (as opposed to recent examples of Ryan's), and moreover he has significantly less current political relevance.

By: sporknado

sporknado — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:45:49 -0800

When I saw the headline, I thought, "Oh. A fpp on John McCain and Lindsey Graham."

By: infini

infini — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:45:53 -0800

The thread is turning out as roflmao if not more ... carry on... and really, there's fabio on metafilter?

By: jfuller

jfuller — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:48:06 -0800

>> octobersurprise: "Will Murdoch replace the Fabio-looking-guy on all the covers?" > > With Rand Paul. With Rupert selfies.

By: rtha

rtha — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:52:15 -0800

Oy. I know! That grocer's apostrophe just left me in despair for the state of literature today.

By: EmpressCallipygos

EmpressCallipygos — Thu, 29 May 2014 13:54:52 -0800

In other news, one of the former Village People is appearing in a new Off-Broadway musical adaptation of an Ayn Rand novella. I am not making this up.

By: Sys Rq

Sys Rq — Thu, 29 May 2014 14:04:01 -0800

The guy the GOP is trying to sell as hunky is Paul Ryan. I know! Isn't that hilarious? He looks like the offspring of Screech Powers and a turtle. (No, not Lisa Turtle. A turtle.)

By: cjelli

cjelli — Thu, 29 May 2014 14:08:29 -0800

He looks like the offspring of Screech Powers and a turtle. "Paul Ryan Can't Figure Out Why People Keep Mistaking Him For Anthony Weiner"

Wisconsinites keep mistaking Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) for other well-known politicians -- including Anthony Weiner. "I've been confused for Anthony Weiner twice now. I don't know how this keeps happening," Ryan told a group of Republicans on Wednesday at an event in Mount Pleasant, Mich...The former vice presidential candidate went for some comic relief during his speech when he shared some of the more "humbling moments" he's experienced during his political career. Ryan recounted how one woman asked to take a picture with him in the Milwaukee airport because she mistook him for Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker (R). "We got a person walking by to, you know, gave her a phone to take a picture," he said. "Then she said, 'It's so nice to finally meet you Gov. Walker. I've always wanted to meet you in person.'" Soon after, he was mistaken for Weiner, the Democrat whose sexting scandals derailed first his career as a congressman from New York and later his bid to succeed Michael Bloomberg as mayor of New York City. "I went on this flight a week later. And the flight attendants were looking at me and kind of whispering at each other and pointing," Ryan recalled. "And then, finally one of them comes up to me and says, 'You're somebody famous, aren't you? Are you Anthony Weiner?'"

By: infini

infini — Thu, 29 May 2014 14:10:43 -0800

I am not making this up. We, 814567, are amused, even as we struggle to realize that others around us are not amused, so are "we" really part of the "we" or are "we" actually not? Deeply ponders "I"....

By: davidjmcgee

davidjmcgee — Thu, 29 May 2014 14:14:46 -0800

Paul F. Tompkins: You are never ready to see Fabio.

By: PinkMoose

PinkMoose — Thu, 29 May 2014 14:18:23 -0800

why did Torstar sell them?

By: dances_with_sneetches

dances_with_sneetches — Thu, 29 May 2014 14:59:26 -0800

I've never been this aroused since Sarah Palin wrote my name on her hand.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Thu, 29 May 2014 15:01:35 -0800

pity crayon washes off so easily

By: corb

corb — Thu, 29 May 2014 15:06:56 -0800

The guy the GOP is trying to sell as hunky is Paul Ryan. But he only does covers where he's the spunky newspaper reporter from Nebraska.

By: bicyclefish

bicyclefish — Thu, 29 May 2014 15:15:04 -0800

why did Torstar sell them? Because real people stopped reading newspapers on account of their liberal bias.

By: T.D. Strange

T.D. Strange — Thu, 29 May 2014 15:24:25 -0800

And that's when Hector the Orderly entered the scene. He was unlike any man she'd ever met. He was black, and full of a powerful energy, much like clean coal. He pulled out his Obamaphone and asked, "Babe, should I order a couple of T-bone steaks?"

By: Joe in Australia

Joe in Australia — Thu, 29 May 2014 15:30:03 -0800

In other news, one of the former Village People is appearing in a new Off-Broadway musical adaptation of an Ayn Rand novella. You realise that they became famous for singing about Christian youth clubs and the value of a military career, don't you? This is the logical extension of his earlier career.

By: telstar

telstar — Thu, 29 May 2014 16:34:19 -0800

Maher says "dark", not "black" describing Hector as in the transcript.

By: taichiofthedamned

taichiofthedamned — Thu, 29 May 2014 17:12:25 -0800

Rupert Murdoch thrusts Harlequin romance books deep inside his company

By: condour75

condour75 — Thu, 29 May 2014 17:23:38 -0800

Apparently romance novels and newspapers have some kind of natural affinity? Paper quality.

By: Ray Walston, Luck Dragon

Ray Walston, Luck Dragon — Thu, 29 May 2014 17:51:54 -0800

When I saw the headline, I thought, "Oh. A fpp on John McCain and Lindsey Graham." It's about time the ol' Maverick finally put a ring on it

By: wierdo

wierdo — Thu, 29 May 2014 18:06:54 -0800

"I went on this flight a week later. And the flight attendants were looking at me and kind of whispering at each other and pointing," Ryan recalled. "And then, finally one of them comes up to me and says, 'You're somebody famous, aren't you? Are you Anthony Weiner?'" I call 100% BS on this story. If a flight attendant would like to know who you are, they have a handy passenger manifest that lists your name. No way in hell they would risk offending someone like that.

By: apparently

apparently — Thu, 29 May 2014 18:26:49 -0800

Murdoch has owned Avon Books, the romance publisher who put Fabio on the map (and published several romances penned by the beefcake himself), for over a decade already.

By: univac

univac — Thu, 29 May 2014 22:14:38 -0800

Right-wing politics + romance novels + OCR calibration issues = the right to bear anus.

By: sebastienbailard

sebastienbailard — Thu, 29 May 2014 22:40:20 -0800

Sometimes you get the bear, ...

By: pompomtom

pompomtom — Fri, 30 May 2014 02:03:54 -0800

No way in hell they would risk offending someone like that. I thought they were winding him up.