Comments on: Sad Animal Facts

Sad Animal Facts

backseatpilot — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:13:55 -0800

Overloaded by too many happy animals on the internet? Enjoy some sad animal facts.

By: Navelgazer

Navelgazer — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:21:48 -0800

Jesus, ferrets...

By: CheeseDigestsAll

CheeseDigestsAll — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:23:23 -0800

Cute, but some "facts" are sketchy. (Jaguars are not the same as cougars/pumas/mountain lions).

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:26:00 -0800

That frog fact is not all that sad.

By: Samizdata

Samizdata — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:26:23 -0800

GenjiandProust: "That frog fact is not all that sad." What? Oh, never mind.

By: Melismata

Melismata — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:26:38 -0800

Houseflies can only hum in the key of F No kidding! Neat. I'll have to check that out the next time I hear one.

By: Chocolate Pickle

Chocolate Pickle — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:26:55 -0800

Mayflies live much longer than one day. They die one day after becoming adults, but they live a whole year. Cicadas do not sleep for 17 years. Cicada nymphs have a very active life.

By: erratic meatsack

erratic meatsack — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:27:27 -0800

Yeah, I was going to mention the frog one as a weird choice. The jellyfish is pretty hilarious though. Also I totally need hippo skin.

By: witchen

witchen — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:27:51 -0800

I am both relieved and disappointed that these are so twee.

By: Elly Vortex

Elly Vortex — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:29:24 -0800

For those who are tender-hearted saps, like me: These are cute and funny Sad Animal Facts, not depressing Sad Animal Facts. More "sharks lose a tooth a week due to bad flossing" instead of "There are fewer than XXX elephants left on the planet because people slaughter them for ivory". Carry on.

By: GenjiandProust

GenjiandProust — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:29:26 -0800

Also, can anyone tell me good news about seagulls? The only thing I can imagine is that they have all fucked off somewhere, and they aren't coming back. F-ing gulls.

By: janey47

janey47 — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:31:42 -0800

I'm suspicious of that "wreck" of seagulls business. Anyone alive and aware in the 80s knows it's a FLOCK.

By: hat_eater

hat_eater — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:53:38 -0800

I'm a terrible person. I can't stop laughing. (Also, what Elly Vortex said)

By: erratic meatsack

erratic meatsack — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 13:58:40 -0800

Now this is a sad animal fact.

By: leotrotsky

leotrotsky — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:01:37 -0800

The Cow Methane Fart thing? Blessing in disguise. That's wind power.

By: darksong

darksong — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:19:19 -0800

Not what I expected, but in a good way. And as much as this is "I want a book deal" Tumblr, it's pretty cute and there's some thought and talent behind it. I approve.

By: Samizdata

Samizdata — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:19:25 -0800

erratic meatsack: "Now this is a sad animal fact." Maybe an Imgur copy of the pic, as the source filters on referrers?

By: DrAstroZoom

DrAstroZoom — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:30:31 -0800

Also, can anyone tell me good news about seagulls? The only thing I can imagine is that they have all ~~fucked~~ flocked off somewhere, and they aren't coming back... Fixed that for you.

By: blucevalo

blucevalo — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:34:51 -0800

Is it possible to be overloaded by happy animals on the internet?

By: JenThePro

JenThePro — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:41:34 -0800

Pigeons could survive in outer space though because they are the only bird that DOESN'T need gravity to swallow.

By: JenThePro

JenThePro — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:44:10 -0800

Sad Pig Fact: Pigs can't swim because they slit their own throats with their trotters. (ok - I think that's an urban myth but I believed it for like, years........ ok I believed it until just now when I googled to see if it was actually true)

By: Paul Slade

Paul Slade — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:51:32 -0800

Shouldn't the dolphin one be "eye" singular?

By: Solomon

Solomon — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:57:12 -0800

I didn't realise that ferrets experienced pon farr.

By: deludingmyself

deludingmyself — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 14:59:42 -0800

I'd like to know more about this study with the lab rats wearing tiny vests.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 15:06:03 -0800

Deer lick each others' antlers to obtain vitamin D.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 15:08:07 -0800

Also, can anyone tell me good news about seagulls? They are mortal?

By: Kabanos

Kabanos — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 15:12:48 -0800

In an unusual study, researchers allowed virgin male rats to have sex with females wearing special rodent "jackets." Later, when scientists gave the males a chance to mate again, the animals preferred to mate with jacket-wearing female rats rather than with unclad ones. It's not clear if the males also enjoyed listening to Cake.

By: justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow

justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 15:23:34 -0800

They are mortal? If you have a seagull mortality study that needs replication I'd be happy to volunteer.

By: univac

univac — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 15:29:54 -0800

I teared up at "What happens in Back to the Future II?"

By: litera scripta manet

litera scripta manet — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 15:32:00 -0800

Okay, the Goldcrest one is pretty sad. But that frog one is like the best thing ever. I would love to be able to close my ears whenever I wanted. Like right now, when I want to leave my windows open to get in fresh air, but I can't, because I'll be assaulted by the high-pitched squeals of children frolicking outside.

By: Kabanos

Kabanos — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 15:37:03 -0800

Sad Animal Fact: Female Hyenas have an elongated clitoris (up to 7 inches), through which the birth canal runs. The canal is only an inch in diameter however, and the tissue often tears as a 2-pound cub squeezes through the narrow opening. The rip can be fatal, as evidenced by the high death rate for first-time mothers. Not sure how to make that fact twee.

By: vathek

vathek — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 16:06:24 -0800

If you have a seagull mortality study that needs replication I'd be happy to volunteer. One day I was at the beach in the town where I grew up. It's a touristy beach a bit north of San Diego and absolutely packed with people all summer, so hundreds of gulls are clustered at the edge of the beach all day long, making forays into people territory when they spot unprotected food. I was a bit past the seagulls to avoid the crowd. There were some homeless looking dudes hanging out by the cliffs. One of them had a loaf of bread, and he was tearing it up and tossing it to the gulls. He obviously attracts a huge crowd of them. Once they're surrounding him, he grabs a big stick and starts trying to hit the gulls with it. He's yelling at them about all the ways they annoy him, but of course gulls are pretty good at evading threats and he doesn't hit any of them. It's kind of sad, kind of slapstick, and kind of surreal. Since seagulls are imbeciles and will do almost anything for food, they keep flying back into the dude's territory to nab some bread even though he's still on the warpath. The dude takes a mammoth swing at one of them, and his necklace falls out of the collar of his shirt. For a pendant, he has a seagull's wing.

By: logicpunk

logicpunk — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 16:16:17 -0800

Ahem.

By: dephlogisticated

dephlogisticated — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 17:30:43 -0800

Coots peck and torment their chicks until they figure out which one is the weakest. They let that one starve to death. Then they repeat the process, until eventually the brood has been pared down to two or three. Coots are dicks.

By: goatdog

goatdog — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 19:03:46 -0800

My cat probably doesn't like you.

By: um

um — Thu, 11 Jun 2015 20:51:55 -0800

Dogs can't look up. I heard.

By: Segundus

Segundus — Fri, 12 Jun 2015 01:16:15 -0800

Dogs can see TV though. Apparently they need a higher frame rate than humans to get the illusion of motion and they don't see colours the same, but I'm pretty sure they can basically see what's happening on a TV.

By: Solomon

Solomon — Fri, 12 Jun 2015 01:21:26 -0800

I'm really surprised by that Coot video. There's a group of 7 on a pond near me, 2 adults and 5 chicks, and the chicks are almost fully grown. Having seen the way the chicks will gang up on a Mallard, though, I'm not surprised that the adults didn't torment them. Coots can indeed be quite vicious.

By: Katemonkey

Katemonkey — Fri, 12 Jun 2015 02:50:38 -0800

Oh dwarf lemur, I'll come visit. Just not for long. And I might bring some plastic to sit on. And wear gloves. And a hat. Is that okay?

By: Katemonkey

Katemonkey — Fri, 12 Jun 2015 03:04:08 -0800

(and that was my 1000th comment on MetaFilter. About dwarf lemur feces. Um...yay?)

By: Samizdata

Samizdata — Fri, 12 Jun 2015 14:34:36 -0800

vathek: " If you have a seagull mortality study that needs replication I'd be happy to volunteer. One day I was at the beach in the town where I grew up. It's a touristy beach a bit north of San Diego and absolutely packed with people all summer, so hundreds of gulls are clustered at the edge of the beach all day long, making forays into people territory when they spot unprotected food. I was a bit past the seagulls to avoid the crowd. There were some homeless looking dudes hanging out by the cliffs. One of them had a loaf of bread, and he was tearing it up and tossing it to the gulls. He obviously attracts a huge crowd of them. Once they're surrounding him, he grabs a big stick and starts trying to hit the gulls with it. He's yelling at them about all the ways they annoy him, but of course gulls are pretty good at evading threats and he doesn't hit any of them. It's kind of sad, kind of slapstick, and kind of surreal. Since seagulls are imbeciles and will do almost anything for food, they keep flying back into the dude's territory to nab some bread even though he's still on the warpath. The dude takes a mammoth swing at one of them, and his necklace falls out of the collar of his shirt. For a pendant, he has a seagull's wing." Weak. Back when I was still married, the ex and I went to California to visit my family, let her see the oceans for the first time and the like. She had also never really dealt with a seagull other than hearing horrible stories about horrible things friends and I had done to said gulls in retribution for a whole host of gull-inflicted indignities. So, we are at Sea World, and having a great time (including watching a young lady connecting with an orca in a way you only see in feel good movies), when we notice the dolphin pool is open. Now the way that works is that you can purchase small trays of fish at certain times of day and go to the pool and pet the dolphins when they come up to take your fish. They are VERY strict about only feeding at certain times and not selling more than a fixed number of trays to prevent issues with overfeeding. It is, of course, the last time today feeding is allowed. So, my ex goes over and gets two trays (one for me and one for her) and as she is heading ahead of me to the pool, a gull divesbombs her, comes about as close to getting tangled in her hair as you can without actually tangling, and basically bails with her tray of fish. She turns around to me, as I approach to make sure she is okay, and, with a cranky expression on her face, says "Now I understand." At this point I crack up inappropriately and end up giving her all but one of the fish from my tray (which is untouched as it was underneath the stolen tray) as a peace offering (although I am petting a dolphin damn it!).