Comments on: Bonding-Free Thread

Bonding-Free Thread

Mr. Yuck — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 06:01:16 -0800

How do you bond and who have you bonded with? I made some unlikely friends over the past 10 months because we were united by a goal. I talk to them, bluntly, everyday and it's enriching.

By: AzraelBrown

AzraelBrown — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 06:55:47 -0800

As mentioned in past free-threads, a new indie film I'm working on started filming this weekend. Through a chain of last-minute circumstances, our B-camera operator could not make it, so there was a scramble to find a replacement. The cinematographer wanted strongly to shoot every scene with two cameras. So, the producer connected with a guy I've worked with in the past -- he's acted in things I've worked on, and I shot his short film back in May. The weird thing was: I have not heard from him since shooting wrapped. Nothing, radio silence. Did I do something wrong? Did I mess up the video? This is self-talk that I'm pretty good at ignoring, but knowing I was going to see him brought some of that up. Note that this is not the same filmmaker-friend who I haven't heard much from, so having two people apparently ghost me doesn't help. So, he showed up on set -- and we greeted each other warmly, and it was like we were two kids back from summer break on the first day of school. We were chatting and laughing and he told me about a wellness retreat he went on, and I talked about my recent gigs, and he showed me some rough edits of his film that I shot, and it was great! If you ask my wife, in the past she's been concerned that I haven't really had many friends, and those that I've called friends were both of our friends, not really just mine. Middle-aged American Guy problems. But, my working in film hasn't just expanded my skills and creativity, I'm finding friends through this common experience of making a movie. I come from a theater background so this isn't new, I just haven't had this in a long time and hadn't realized how much I missed it. All of the indie projects I've worked on have come because a friend or a friend-of-a-friend has reached out to me, and I'm fairly certain that it's less "this guy has skills" than "this guy is easy to work with and makes things go smoothly". I do have skills, but skills do not make a team player. So, I guess this also falls into "common goal", but then being on a baseball team, or being in a book club, or cleaning up an abandoned lot, have common goals, too -- this is more of a mutual collaborative artistic endeavor. It self-selects for people willing to work for a singular vision, adding their parts to a greater whole, and I'm fitting into it nicely. My circle of friends is growing with each new project. One thing I sort of dwell on is: these are sort of like "work friends", I don't really know any of them outside of this bonding situation. I'd like to have more friends of the "go out to a movie together" or "grab lunch and catch up", but that seems to be a more difficult bonding step: rather than a common goal, or them being my wife's friends, or some other life-overlap thing -- all you have to bond over is your own personality, which is sort of anxiety-inducing. Maybe this is why it's so hard for Middle-aged American Guys to have friends. Film student update: As noted, indie horror film started principal photography, and I think I did some of my best Steadicam work ever yesterday. This week is the teen-on-camera-workshop; three scripts have been chosen by the workshop leader for me to film their acting students' performances this Thursday and Friday; I need to get my shotlists together in the next day or so. Quick shoot for a music video next Tuesday. Then, the indie horror is my only project for a while, which will let me catch up on an online class (actually two classes, self-paced) that I have let slide, but it's all good.

By: kokaku

kokaku — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 07:11:52 -0800

For a long time, I feel like the people in my life I have bonded with are either partners, former partners, or long-distance old friends who i talk to on the phone sometimes. And a lot of my friendships these past years have become centered around support for family health things I've been going through (though not solely). I'm starting to make more friends through a specific dance community and through a flinta motorcycle group, but i don't live where they are so it's a little catch-as-catch-can.

By: eekernohan

eekernohan — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 08:18:58 -0800

I'm kind of a loner by nature, but I've had plenty of good friends in different circumstances. Some I'm still in touch with, others I am not. But I kind of see that as a natural ebb and flow of life. Usually they've been around things like school, shared interests, taking the same bus every morning. That kind of thing. 3/4 robins have fledged so far from the nest we've been watching. The last one will likely fly today or tomorrow. It's really interesting to see what they get fed. The menu the past couple of days has included tree frogs. Given the spring feedings included fully armoured hellgrammites, frogs shouldn't be a surprise. But it's still surprising to see for the first time. Once the last baby fledges we'll take the cameras down and pack them away. We'll also clean up the nest (this one is pretty gross now... close quarters have made it hard for the parents to keep up with cleaning duty). Then we'll see if they build where we can watch them again next year.

By: lalochezia

lalochezia — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 08:31:00 -0800

MEME FOR THIS THREAD

By: Artful Codger

Artful Codger — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 08:33:48 -0800

Many of my and our current friends come from sailing: the people we have met through the self-help boat club we belong to, and also from the "class association" of people who own the same make & model of small sailboat as ours, who we used to meet up with annually. We're currently staying at the cottage of a fellow owner, who have become great friends. The other main pool of friends we have come from Mrs C's involvement with the local arts community. She volunteers for a few organizations and was on the board for a few of them. Common interests, and working together with people towards specific goals - it really tells you a lot about those people, and it seems that you really get a good sense of someone's outlook, their levels of empathy and altruism, and whether they are trustworthy. Film-adjacent: I was up and out before 7 am today to record some tweetybirds and general forest "silence" of Ontario cottage country in mid-summer. Trying a new recorder. [lalochesia - that was perfect]

By: DirtyOldTown

DirtyOldTown — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 08:45:02 -0800

MeFi's resident movie hermit actually went to lunch (and a movie) with a bud last Saturday, visited a couple in the city who are old friends all day on Saturday (including watching some movies), and is attending a Chicago Dogs game with another friend Wednesday (no movies).

By: Art_Pot

Art_Pot — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 09:03:20 -0800

I'm not good at bonding, but I've been trying to interact more with people in my french class before it starts. Once class is over though, I'm out like an arrow. Time to Gooo!

By: jenfullmoon

jenfullmoon — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 09:10:25 -0800

Have you ever had a situation where you had some kind of inexplicable magical shit thing going on with someone? Like "I am having signs and synchronicities happening all over the place, really specific shit at times" level of that? I hate to use the nauseating term "twin flames,"* and I don't really believe in the whole split-apart-souls theory anyway, but I've had Weird Magical Shit go on with someone for quite some time and despite my trying to break off the connection off and on for years and doing cord cutting rituals and politely keeping my emotional distance once I realized that this was never going to go any further, it seems to continue on some level anyway, and right now I'm having signs go off again. "A bond that transcends rationality," per some Carl Jung video I'm listening to right now. It's really pointless and stupid to have this going on and not entirely going away no matter what you do. But has anyone else had this go on for them with someone? What happened to you when you had it going on? * note: this definition here is one I actually like/agree with, that you have weird magical shit erupting. As for my weekend, I saw two more shows and started tech week for Murder on the Nile. I still keep forgetting/flubbing lines here and there and it's driving me nuts. I know them, but in the moment, flubbity flub flub, and no matter what I keep talking too fast. I'm trying to figure out old age makeup and that shit is hard, man. I also had it confirmed that someone I know is doing some... bad shit, which is uncomfortable and nobody exactly knows how to handle the situation.

By: agatha_magatha

agatha_magatha — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 09:11:53 -0800

I am not much of a bonder--I am an introvert who really likes my privacy. When I was working I made lots of work friends in the office but did very little socializing outside the office because after a day of being surrounded by people and keeping up the "social" mask, etc. I was so done. Now, in retirement, I get plenty of interaction with people with whom I have a parasocial relationship. My hairdresser, my Pilates instructor, various medical folks who I see regularly and so on. I have a deep bond with my best friends, a couple I've known for decades, they moved to Scotland, and we keep in touch via messaging, video calls. Due to various physical ailments, I choose not to fly, and they will probably not be coming back to the States until the current administration is gone. I also have a deep bond with my immediate family. We live close to one another and see each other fairly regularly. That is about it. I am a childless cat lady and like it. I am not lonely and am happy to go for days puttering around my house.

By: Greg_Ace

Greg_Ace — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 09:37:10 -0800

How do you bond Duct Tape. who have you bonded with Multiple innocent bystanders who were unfairly affected by my adhesive-related clumsiness.

By: We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 09:59:37 -0800

But has anyone else had this go on for them with someone? What happened to you when you had it going on? Perhaps not the exact same thing you're talking about, but I met someone briefly in college and was not particularly struck by him although I thought he was perfectly alright. For Reasons, we remained in each others' orbits continually over the years and from time to time one or the other of us would reach out and say hey, and it always felt like A Thing? Even though there was no Thing. And I felt it was kind of ridiculous! After all, I could certainly have asked him out at any time and hadn't done, because I hadn't wanted to, and fully vice versa! So how were things always a bit Thing-y? I never bothered doing any kinds of rituals or distancing because it wasn't particularly disruptive, and eventually I just sort of concluded that well, I guess on some level we're just connected, whatever. And then one day I ran into him at an event and he just very comfortably and friendly-like touched my elbow and I realized, lol oh shit I love this guy more than anything, wtf! It was a real damn problem! Anyway I had to blow up my entire life to make it happen but now we are A Thing until we die.

By: EmpressCallipygos

EmpressCallipygos — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 10:00:01 -0800

There are parts of working in off-off-Broadway I don't miss, but the instant-social-circle is one I do.

By: Didymus

Didymus — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 10:08:20 -0800

And then one day I ran into him at an event and he just very comfortably and friendly-like touched my elbow and I realized, lol oh shit I love this guy more than anything, wtf! It was a real damn problem! Anyway I had to blow up my entire life to make it happen but now we are A Thing until we die. I would watch this movie

By: supermedusa

supermedusa — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 10:11:39 -0800

I have found that camping together is a great way to get to know people more deeply and thoroughly. you are just hanging out, you talk about all kinds of stuff. but you are also cooking, cleaning, hiking, whatever together. you see what they are like when they are frustrated at putting up their tent, or hungover, or horny. you are sharing nature together and talking about your childhoods. I have found out so much more about friends I knew for years once I camped with them. also, the intimacy of mutual consent for face-slapping to kill that mosquito on your forehead.

By: Didymus

Didymus — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 10:41:55 -0800

also, the intimacy of mutual consent for face-slapping to kill that mosquito on your forehead. you left out farts not for nothing did I coin the term 'fartimacy'

By: fikri

fikri — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 10:54:11 -0800

If I didn't play in bands, I would be in a very bad way, human-connection-wise. I am in my 50s, and the local rock community is my mental health lifeline. I am recently back from a little 4-day tour, and yeah, making music, playing shows, spending hours in the van together, and collectively having adventures on the road makes for great bonding. But, heck, you don't even need to tour. It's the mundane getting together for band practices. Writing songs together. It's befriending folks in other bands when you share a local bill, and then feeling drawn to go see their shows, where you run into other lifers on the regular. I'm bad at reaching out to people out of the blue for nothing in particular, just to hang out. So, all I have to do is look at the calendar and see who's playing this week.

By: Greg_Ace

Greg_Ace — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 10:59:12 -0800

When I was younger my (now ex-) wife, son and I moved from Florida to western North Carolina. Shortly afterward I found a music store with a bulletin board full of notices of musicians looking for other musicians/bands looking for members/etc. I posted a note that I was a bassist looking for others to play music with. Long story short, a guy responded, we bonded initially over music, then over many other topics. One of the best and deepest friendships I've ever had lasted over 25 years; then in 2019 he died and a hole has remained in my life ever since. I have often said that Metafilter saved me from becoming another Lonely Old Guy statistic. 17 years ago when I moved to a new city in a new state where I didn't know anybody, reading and responding in Metafilter conversations became my lifeline and a substitute for the in-person socializing I otherwise lacked. A year or so later I went to the local MeFi 10th anniversary meetup, and afterward for the next couple of years we continued to have fun regular group IRL meetups where I got to know quite a few folks. After a while those meetups tapered off, but in the meantime I'd become friendly enough with a few people that we continued to hang out (and yes, go camping) - and still do to this day. We bond over many things, as they're all smart, talented, artsy, and funny. Have you ever had a situation where you had some kind of inexplicable magical shit thing going on with someone? I have! We dated only briefly and found we weren't at all right for each other romantically, but ended up being close long-term friends. She still somehow just feels like "family" to me in a way that very very few other people on the planet have. Oh - also, I've spoken of this before, but: I became best friends with a guy in high school, he was one of the other very few people who are "family". Still, after school we fell out of touch. Then a couple years ago I happened to find a way to contact him, he visited a few months ago, and there was no awkward re-familiarization stage - we picked up right where we left off (plus a few decades of life to catch up on). --- On the opposite side of the coin, I'm ready to un-bond with my job. It had transitioned in recent years from direct customer support to working on documentation and instruction materials (for both customers and support engineers). That's where I felt my best skills and talents were in the first place, and I was very happy to step back from the firehose of immediate customer issues and have a chance to view and document the larger picture. Eventually I began to feel that my success at this higher-level work warranted a promotion, and both my manager and his manager made agreeable noises about the idea, but a year later nothing has actually been done - even though I received an "Outstanding" rating on my annual evaluation! Now we've got word that there won't be any money for merit raises again this year...because our company is instead "investing in infrastructure" (in other words, AI *sigh*). I'm disappointed, disillusioned, and don't care about this job anymore. I've considered looking for another job many times before, but now I'm truly at the point where my aggravation and frustration over this one has surpassed the level of aggravation and frustration (and at this point in my life, fear) I feel about the process of finding another one. Bleah.

By: supermedusa

supermedusa — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 11:26:10 -0800

not for nothing did I coin the term 'fartimacy' I have been shocked to find that some married couples I know won't fart in front of each other. PRO TIP: never marry someone you can't fart in front of!

By: Going To Maine

Going To Maine — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 11:43:25 -0800

adjacent video

By: We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 11:47:25 -0800

I would watch this movie TBH you could just watch the back half of Clueless and it's basically the same? Except less charming when everyone involved is fully 40 years old.

By: signal

signal — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 12:02:21 -0800

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese: "And then one day I ran into him at an event and he just very comfortably and friendly-like touched my elbow and I realized, lol oh shit I love this guy more than anything, wtf! It was a real damn problem! Anyway I had to blow up my entire life to make it happen but now we are A Thing until we die. There was this girl who I thought was cute. We ran in several overlapping circles, so we'd run into each other and do some light flirting but that was it. Then, one night, I go to a party. She's there. We both realize immediately we're spending the rest of our lives together. It wasn't so much falling in love as just accepting a reality. At the end of the night we were holding hands. That was 25 years ago, we're still together.

By: jenfullmoon

jenfullmoon — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 13:14:56 -0800

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese: "Perhaps not the exact same thing you're talking about Oh, it TOTALLY IS. always felt like A Thing? Even though there was no Thing. And I felt it was kind of ridiculous! After all, I could certainly have asked him out at any time and hadn't done, because I hadn't wanted to, and fully vice versa! So how were things always a bit Thing-y? Alas, I asked mine out and.... nope. :( Hence why years of trying to GTFO it and these days, trying to figure out some kind of coping mechanism between this irritating pull/instinct of "yes, this one" vs. that it's never going to happen and I sure AF have not been able to find anyone else to focus on in the meantime. I don't have any hope that he'll pull his head out of his ass and get over whatever his issues are, but some part of me keeps up the inner whine. I'm trying to disconnect from the connection that doesn't quite die. You asked about bonding, this is the one "bond" issue I've ever had of this nature. And then one day I ran into him at an event and he just very comfortably and friendly-like touched my elbow and I realized, lol oh shit I love this guy more than anything, wtf! It was a real damn problem! Anyway I had to blow up my entire life to make it happen but now we are A Thing until we die. Between you and signal, I'm swooning. I love this so hard. I want to know more details on "I had to blow up my entire life to make it happen" too, because I can't picture "Clueless with 40-year-olds." Cher doesn't exactly blow up her life so much as work on donating skis and not get her driver's license....

By: Artful Codger

Artful Codger — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 13:16:28 -0800

PRO TIP: never marry someone you can't fart in front of! If a romantic partner can crack off a fart then make a deadpan joke about it that breaks you up, propose on the spot. I ♥ you, Mrs C.

By: We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 13:32:29 -0800

because I can't picture "Clueless with 40-year-olds." I mean chiefly the part that tracks with Clueless is the fun part: "Wait, what am I stressing about?" After that you'd have to insert some kind of montage for the divorce-level breakups and global pandemic and a bunch of other gross and/or boring stuff 16-year-olds in the 90s generally didn't have to deal with. But it still gets to the smooching at the end!

By: We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 13:36:36 -0800

also jesus lord there are so many farts

By: Didymus

Didymus — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 13:43:11 -0800

Between you and signal, I'm swooning. I love this so hard. I want to know more details on "I had to blow up my entire life to make it happen" jenfullmoon, this one's for you: a lifetime ago I was doing community theatre, still in high school and it felt like a Very Big Deal that they recruited me to be part of their group, my inaugural role was Ellard Simms in "The Foreigner" I'm not going to say I was typecast but as I got to know the two primaries of the theatre company, I learned that they met during the *other* community theatre group's production of something like "The Sound of Music" but it could have been a different show, it was his first tryout with the group and his background prior to that was largely live improv (comedy), and he recalled the first reading and their eyes met in a fairly crowded space and it was like that, instant feelings. He spent that production being intensely aware of her and she reciprocated, and they tried to avoid each other because they were both married (and he had two kids with his partner) so they blew all that up to be together, this would have been about 40 years ago and they went on to work in film and television production. From what they described of the "blowing shit up" phase, it was not easy. but looking at the results, I am not sure they could have done it any other way.

By: seanmpuckett

seanmpuckett — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 13:44:27 -0800

mm, well in 2003 i was driving around north america visiting online friends after my wife kicked me out and upon visiting d in ontario for three weeks we made plans for both of us to blow up both our lives, get married for real later that year in san francisco (after i finished my trip) after which time i would file papers to move to canada forever and become a citizen and we're still together making terrible fart jokes* at each other not saying it wasn't fucking hard at times, though. blowing things up tends to leave a lot of debris to trip over, and cleaning that shit up is still a job. * both the jokes and the farts are terrible

By: Greg_Ace

Greg_Ace — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 13:53:59 -0800

Metafilter: it still gets to the smooching at the end

By: Didymus

Didymus — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 13:55:17 -0800

Metafilter: it still gets to the smooching at the end Greg_Ace, *both the jokes and the farts are terrible was right there

By: phunniemee

phunniemee — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 13:58:25 -0800

I only need a free thread to share this pic I just took.

By: luckynerd

luckynerd — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 15:12:15 -0800

Bonding: Usually over music, movies, TV shows, and other types of art. IRL: Usually with people I met at events I frequented in my 40's. Free Thread: Grief sucks and I'm also glad The Late Mr. Nerd isn't around to see what horrors are now commonplace. Like me buying a GPS tracker because I'm a brown woman with a "white" (Americanized Russian) last name. The Real ID won't help if evildoers don't want to see my stinking badge showing I'm a citizen. Bright side: Cat sitting for my sister most of this week. So I get some solitude to watch TV and crochet after work. I just keep repeating Bill Hicks... don't be afraid because it's just a ride.

By: jenfullmoon

jenfullmoon — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 16:27:43 -0800

Didymus: "as I got to know the two primaries of the theatre company, I learned that they met during the *other* community theatre group's production of something like "The Sound of Music" but it could have been a different show, it was his first tryout with the group and his background prior to that was largely live improv (comedy), and he recalled the first reading and their eyes met in a fairly crowded space and it was like that, instant feelings. He spent that production being intensely aware of her and she reciprocated, and they tried to avoid each other because they were both married (and he had two kids with his partner) so they blew all that up to be together, this would have been about 40 years ago and they went on to work in film and television production. From what they described of the "blowing shit up" phase, it was not easy. but looking at the results, I am not sure they could have done it any other way." On a related note, on Saturday I was hanging out with my castmates and finding out how they got together with their spouses. Castmate A (gay fellow) met his future husband on a show, but A was dating some other guy in the cast and FH was dating some other girl in the cast....they eventually broke up with the SO's and then got together in their second show together. FH wrote Castmate A a declaration of love that reminded me of the one in Lust and Wonder, Castmate A was all "well, I thought he was straight, but okay...?," and now they're married. D'awww! Castmates B and C: Castmate B was in a show and that particular theater (this is Snooty Theater, of course) had an award ceremony, which C was awarding something in. B did a pointing gesture like he's Babe Ruth and was all, "THAT ONE!" Meanwhile, C thought B was a teenager (he was 27) and only paid attention to him when she wanted to audition for Anne of Green Gables and needed some other guys that were young looking to be Gilbert. He got Gilbert, she got Diana, and since they weren't as in the show as much, had a lot of time to spend together backstage. Got engaged a few months later. D'awww! Me: "I WANNA SHOWMANCE LIKE THAT!!!"....

By: scruss

scruss — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 16:28:40 -0800

ms scruss and I met on a boat to Shetland 33 years ago yesterday. We both thought we were with other people at the time, but they faded away. How did we bond? Slowly. I know I irritated the hell out of her at first. The more time we spent apart, the more we realized that it made us miserable. So we had to each move quarter of the way around the world to be together. And we are. She burps, I fart. What a team, eh? I find making friends difficult because a lot of the people I meet are through weird tech shit groups, and friendship is not transitive there. I also tend to ramble and maybe not listen right. But! Highlight of last week was meeting MeFi's Own™ seanmpuckett and being given one of their glorious Halo Clocks. This is a beautiful art object that also gently hints at the time, without being too overtly "clocky" about it. These really deserve to be in a museum of modern art or a very high-end gallery. Everything about this device is delightful, and we love to have it gracing our wall. Thank you!

By: honey badger

honey badger — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 17:20:57 -0800

My Great Deck Rebuild started today! So exciting, and looks great already. Unfortunately my crazy dog spent the day barking her head off at the guys doing the work, but I think she's going to sleep well tonight.

By: DirtyOldTown

DirtyOldTown — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 19:32:47 -0800

One of my oldest friends is Eric from Home (90's NYC/FL lo-fi band). The bass player from Home, Brad Truax (was there ever a finer name for a guitar slinger?) is on tour with Iggy Pop. So I guess I'm two degrees of separation from Iggy now. Anyway, he's to Iggy's left in this clip of Iggy playing "Punkrocker" which is popular again thanks to Superman.

By: Greg_Ace

Greg_Ace — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 19:40:50 -0800

Iggy Pop implies the existence of Iggy Country, Iggy Classical, Iggy Jazz, Iggy Rap, Iggy Prog, etc.

By: chromecow

chromecow — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 01:23:53 -0800

Making things, and sharing made things is a pretty strong bonding activity for me. It can be food, woodwork, movies any hobby or other shared interests. When I first met my future partner, I had given up on dating, and switched to having big dinner parties in a shared apartment. We'd all invite our friends, and invite them to invite interesting people. She came to one of these parties, and we talked and shared food, at at some point she wandered off to explore the house. As she tells it, she knew I was keeper after perusing my video collection, and seeing the complete I, Claudius collection. 25 years later, we still have potlucks and movie nights. Have you ever had a situation where you had some kind of inexplicable magical shit thing going on with someone? All the time. Three days ago, while a group of us prepared to go help a friend move his storage unit, one of my friends was looking for his work gloves in his garage, and inadvertently knocked over a box, out of which popped a rocket-shaped Lava Lamp, which promptly shattered. The fun rocket base was intact, but the lamp broke and spilled everywhere. The next day, I'm out protesting, and as I walk back to my car afterwards, not fifty feet from where I parked, was a Lava-Lamp core sitting out on the curb. I grab it, and that afternoon, present it to my friend, along with the story. His brain melted to about the same consistency as lava-lamp wax. I think that inexplicable magical shit thing is the world. :)

By: EmpressCallipygos

EmpressCallipygos — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 03:56:13 -0800

This is tangentially related to bonding in that it's about someone I bonded with years ago.... So my Irish friend started out as my childhood pen pal when we were both twelve; we've stayed in touch because she is gold-plated awesome. We've both had rough go's of it for the past few years - the last time we saw each other in person was a joint trip to Berlin, and she was making frequent calls home to where her sister was taking the shift looking after their parents. She took on most of that after the trip and that's been going on for the past several years. She's a teacher, and I just got an email from her that there's a class trip planned to Pennsylvania in November and she suggests maybe we can meet up while she's in Philly. (Now we begin our usual war of "let me come to you, don't you worry" "oh no, let me come to you, don't you worry".)

By: signal

signal — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 05:45:33 -0800

Greg_Ace: "Iggy Pop implies the existence of Iggy Country, Iggy Classical, Iggy Jazz, Iggy Rap, Iggy Prog, etc." In some parts, he's called Iggy Soda, Iggy Coke, Iggy Tonic, or, in some small deep-South pockets, Iggy Cocola.

By: valkane

valkane — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 05:52:28 -0800

Dinner for Two, Off The Shelf (Shake Señora) 1 can Margaret Holmes Seasoned Butter Beans 1 shallot (finely chopped) 3-4 thinly sliced pieces of ham off-the bone (like slivers, not full, big-ass slices) 2 Sara Lee Artisano White Bakery Buns 8 oz Wegmans Neptune Salad (or whatever those small containers are. Just split it up) 6 Savannah Classics Original Frozen Hushpuppies Butter Mayonnaise Freshly ground black pepper Couple of dashes of Crystal Hot Sauce Put hushpuppies in air fryer at 375 for 10 minutes. Shake the pan often. In an iron skillet, melt butter, then put buns in, crumb side down until they toast up, crispy delicious. Pull buns and plate. In the same skillet, add a little more butter and cook finely chopped ham and shallots. When shallots become transluscent, and ham has gotten a little crispy, drain the can of liquid and add beans. A little Crystal. Cook till bubbly. Shake hushpuppies. Shake, shake, shake, Señora, shake your body line. Work, work, work, Señora, Work it all the time. Spread a little mayo on buns, then add Neptune salad. Pepper generously. Plate beans, hushpuppies, and enjoy! Cooks note: Margaret Holmes butter beans are the best canned beans in the world. My Wegmans doesn't carry them anymore, but you can find them at The Dollar Store. Maybe Walmart. Wegmans Neptune Salad is that fake crabmeat thingy. It's pretty good, but needs more mayo. I got a hunk of ham at Lombardi's, it was just this little thing, and I've been shaving pieces from it, for a while. You could use spam, sausage, thinly sliced smoked ham, Jamón Ibérico, whatever. Just keep it thin. Thanks, Anthony. The frozen hushpuppies are the best I've found; they taste just like what I enjoyed at Long John Silver's when I was a kid. Rock your body in time.

By: valkane

valkane — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 06:03:39 -0800

(Is this the free thread? I thought it was, but it didn't say. If not, just cook it.)

By: AzraelBrown

AzraelBrown — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 06:10:06 -0800

...had a lot of time to spend together backstage... Ah, yes, I have experienced this "bonding" as well...none of that bonding was very successful unfortunately, but was lots of fun in the brief months they happened.

By: fridgebuzz

fridgebuzz — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 08:11:48 -0800

If you are big fart person, into your own and others' farts and fart humor I'm sorry, I can not bond with you. I assure you, I'm a pretty laid back person, but for some reason (read: childhood trauma) I've always (even as a kid) hated fart and poop jokes. But I'm fun, still, I promise. Just let's not talk about farts and shits. In other news: in a couple days I'm done with work this summer. There's a record breaking heat wave in Finland with now 18 days in a row of temperatures exceeding 30 degrees celsius (86° fahrenheit) and I've been biking to work 11 km each way three days a week for coming on five weeks now. It's been allright, although my brain is a bit fried and work is slower because I have to check measurements and proof read etc everything twice. I'm looking forward to August totally free of commitments.

By: From Bklyn

From Bklyn — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 09:21:07 -0800

PRO TIP: never marry someone you can't fart in front of! the start of a throuple? 'Bonding' is not where I'm a Viking. Though the semi-casual bonding through happenstance is definitely my favoured route, in the last couple decades those have been slim. I can't really put up with what I used to put with. Getting old is weird at times - your perspective shifts in ways that are... it's like being half-way up a tall hill where the landscape below gets kinda abstracted and you see connections between locations you otherwise hadn't made. You're not at the top of the hill though, where you can see it all, so it's all still pretty damn specific. This place is in relation to that place, surprisingly close! And that other place, other there - not there...

By: DirtyOldTown

DirtyOldTown — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 09:26:43 -0800

Zach Cregger's followup to the excellent horror film Barbarian comes out next week. It's called Weapons and it's about a small town where one night, all of the students in an elementary teacher's class rise from bed in their respective homes at the exact same time, walk out their front doors, and disappear. I don't know more about it than that and I don't even want to see a trailer, honestly. Only 11 revews on RT so far, but they're 100% positive so far.

By: BobTheScientist

BobTheScientist — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 10:05:13 -0800

In June, my son (~50) and I (~70) went bo(u)nding for a week along the GR65 aka the Le Puy section of the Camino de Santiago. Because we're protestants we walked the 'wrong way' from the Pyrenees towards the French heartland. Every night we met a different cohort of pilgrim-type people heading for Santiago. They were all unaccountably delighted "c'est mignon" etc. at the idea of us choosing to spend a week together comparing blisters and creaky knees.

By: scruss

scruss — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 13:59:01 -0800

→ Hushpuppies why would anyone eat shoes?

By: Greg_Ace

Greg_Ace — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 18:39:05 -0800

Perhaps they have an unusual form of leather fetish?

By: We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese

We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese — Wed, 30 Jul 2025 11:26:34 -0800

Perhaps they have merely lost a bet to Errol Morris.

By: DirtyOldTown

DirtyOldTown — Wed, 30 Jul 2025 11:46:16 -0800

Anyone have any thoughts/background on Ethan Hawke being made to look so short in this trailer to Blue Moon? I'm assuming the reason is as simple as "Lorenz Hart, the real person he is playing was short." Not sure why that matters so much to use various trickery to achieve, but okay. I also wonder what techniques they use to make him look short. I can more or less guess those, too. I started to do an Ask, but people get weirdly hostile if you ask something for which a short answer is obvious, even if you're clear you understand that and you just want to hear the details talked through.

By: chromecow

chromecow — Wed, 30 Jul 2025 14:24:18 -0800

DirtyOldTown Short answer: Could be forced perspective, head replacement, full body replacement, or some combination of those and other VFX. Longer answer: Ye olde days, forced perspective was primary way this kind of effect was achieved. Even in recent film history, the same tricks are used, but paired with modern techniques like motion capture and digital manipulation. These days, there are other options like head replacement that can can be done either with face-capture and 3D replacement, or with deep fakes. In some situations, an entire digital double can be deployed.

By: DirtyOldTown

DirtyOldTown — Wed, 30 Jul 2025 14:43:35 -0800

As I said, I can more or less guess what techniques they might have used, but would like to know what techniques they actually used in this particular film. The behind the scenes stuff for Orphan: First Kill for example, was delightful.

By: chromecow

chromecow — Wed, 30 Jul 2025 14:57:00 -0800

Oh, why didn't you say so? Two kids in a trenchcoat, from what I hear.

By: jenfullmoon

jenfullmoon — Thu, 31 Jul 2025 13:57:10 -0800

Ugh. Spent last night running up and down staircases in heels, very tired and hungry, got home late, woke up at 5 a.m. for no good reason, feel sick to my stomach, feel too dumb to do my job again, AND JUST WANNA GO HOME ALREADY. 3.5 hours to go until I can go home already. It'd be shorter than that, but the current traffic snafu going on means it's taking a half hour ride to an hour now.

By: Greg_Ace

Greg_Ace — Thu, 31 Jul 2025 20:30:09 -0800

running up and down staircases in heels How the stairs got into my heels, I'll never know. (apologies to Groucho Marx)

By: ob1quixote

ob1quixote — Sat, 02 Aug 2025 15:45:49 -0800

I bonded with one my my coworkers over the last year. He has taught me Spanish and I taught him English. He's bound for home in the morning. We said our goodbyes with tears in our eyes this afternoon. If you ever see this, William, tu eres siempre mi amigo. As always, my deepest sympathies to hearts that grieve and best wishes to those who struggle with THE WEIGHT.