Comments on: Santa!

Santa!

arse_hat — Thu, 23 Dec 2004 21:17:36 -0800

Watch the sky! He's coming soon! With fighter escort!

By: Alt F4

Alt F4 — Thu, 23 Dec 2004 21:34:24 -0800

T'would be a shame if Santa were shot down. Good thing he's got backup. Of course, I'd hate to have jets hovering over my neighborhood as Santa did his thing at 3 in the morning.

By: Evstar

Evstar — Thu, 23 Dec 2004 21:47:56 -0800

As if the Canadian air force could keep up with Santa.

By: sellout

sellout — Thu, 23 Dec 2004 21:50:58 -0800

Hardcore holiday figures don't need military escorts. On Moshe! On Herschel! On Shlomo!

By: yossarian1

yossarian1 — Thu, 23 Dec 2004 22:07:23 -0800

I thought Santa only needed the fighter jets on the rare occasion he delivered gifts to Iraq?

By: sycophant

sycophant — Thu, 23 Dec 2004 22:11:32 -0800

I thought Santa only needed the fighter jets on the rare occasion he delivered gifts to Iraq? That's pre-9/11 thinking!

By: dismitree

dismitree — Thu, 23 Dec 2004 22:22:52 -0800

It's a slippery slope: Providing fighter escort one christmas and being roped into the North American Missile Defence Shield the next. I say Paul Martin and these Canadian fighter pilots of his better read the fine print all careful-like so they know the extent of what they've signed up for.

By: zoogleplex

zoogleplex — Thu, 23 Dec 2004 22:40:43 -0800

Considering that Santa can fly so fast that he can hit every house on earth in 24 hours (i won't link to that rather long physical deconstruction of why he'd burn up in the atmosphere, blah blah), there is no weapon on earth that can currently hope to hit that sleigh. The only hope anyone might have of bringing him down would be detonating a high-powered nuke in an airburst, perfectly timed so that he'd be within the kill zone at the time of the blast. Which would be damn near impossible as he's too fast to track, and also would pass through the kill zone of even the biggest nukes fast enough that if your timing was off by even a hundredth of a second you'd literally miss him by miles. Of course, you could always try to infiltrate the Elf Toy Assembly Corps, and make it an inside job. But I think Santa's got that covered, since we've been to the North Pole dozens of times and can't discover his huge compound that everyone has seen on TV and in books a million times. Looks like he's built at right angles to reality!

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Thu, 23 Dec 2004 22:47:42 -0800

Since it's the 50th anniversary of NORAD's first tracking of Santa (as opposed to the TRACKING of Santa -- which involves much more violence), they named Ringo Starr to be their honorary guest tracker this year. They also enlisted other "c e l e b r i t i e s for moral support...

By: alumshubby

alumshubby — Fri, 24 Dec 2004 04:12:43 -0800

Strike escort is nice, but you want a SEAD package and some jammers along too or it's gonna be a long night (or a short and exciting one).

By: Turtles all the way down

Turtles all the way down — Fri, 24 Dec 2004 05:08:09 -0800

Maj. James Manning and Capt. Daniel Bélanger of 3 Wing Bagotville and Capt. Desmond Brophy of 4 Wing Cold Lake That just so reeks of the Great White North.

By: kamylyon

kamylyon — Fri, 24 Dec 2004 07:25:27 -0800

That just so reeks of the Great White North. Who better to escort Santa than denizens of the GWN? Personally I wouldn't want an escort that consisted of people who didn't know how to drive in the snow...

By: kaemaril

kaemaril — Fri, 24 Dec 2004 09:56:59 -0800

Why on earth does a semi-mythical figure require a military escort? Has the CIA received "solid intelligence" that Osama Bin Laden has been buying up surface-to-air missiles and scrawling "Bah! Humbug!" on them or something and passed this along to Canada? Will the Easter Bunny be requiring a special forces escort later this year? :)

By: arse_hat

arse_hat — Fri, 24 Dec 2004 10:33:06 -0800

"Why on earth does a semi-mythical figure require a military escort?"

By: NewBornHippy

NewBornHippy — Fri, 24 Dec 2004 16:50:06 -0800

They can track Santa but they yet have no clue about Osama. I guess you track with the NORAD you have, not the NORAD you might want or wish to have at a later time.

By: kaemaril

kaemaril — Fri, 24 Dec 2004 17:54:05 -0800

arse_hat: The Grinch? Bah! Now, if you'd have said Lobo, maybe you'd have had a point ... :)