Comments on: "Ignore your true children and get a pet or something."

"Ignore your true children and get a pet or something."

Dr. Wu — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 21:25:33 -0800

Finally! The link between Adolf Hitler and Julie Andrews explained! I can't believe it never occurred to me before. [via memepool]

By: thecollegefear

thecollegefear — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 21:29:24 -0800

People are on some serious drugs now a days.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 21:38:21 -0800

Gave me terrible flashbacks of the musroom thread.

By: Rothko

Rothko — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 21:39:38 -0800

"You ever seen IMDB... on weed? That's the way to see it. It's just wacked."

By: Gator

Gator — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 21:44:19 -0800

"[P]rivileged yellow changelings"? Oh dear.

By: TwelveTwo

TwelveTwo — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 21:47:55 -0800

I'm confused.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 21:56:27 -0800

Is it "weird crap" week on metafilter?

By: Joseph Gurl

Joseph Gurl — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 22:01:51 -0800

FYI There is some NSFW stuff in this link. Also? It's mostly fucking crazy.

By: TwelveTwo

TwelveTwo — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 22:15:35 -0800

I didn't want to finish reading it. I worried it would be like the King in Yellow.

By: Robot Johnny

Robot Johnny — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 22:19:30 -0800

It all makes sense now!!

By: icosahedral

icosahedral — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 22:21:51 -0800

If I'm not avail, you taco Nazi, look around and count on Lassie.

By: nile_red

nile_red — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 22:36:54 -0800

Are the pictures of Julie Andrews flashing photoshopped? They've got to be...

By: item

item — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 22:40:34 -0800

Nope, they're not. I remember seeing those in one of my dad's Playboy's from the late '70's or early '80's. Can't recall what the source was, though.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 22:48:41 -0800

I think I just hurt my brain.

By: HyperBlue

HyperBlue — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 23:04:54 -0800

nile_red writes "Are the pictures of Julie Andrews flashing photoshopped? They've got to be...
"posted by nile_red at 12:36 AM CST on December 2 [!]" It was from Blake Edward's S.O.B.

By: HyperBlue

HyperBlue — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 23:07:48 -0800

That scene in S.O.B was early HBO, Mary Poppins, prepubescent porn for me..oops, TMI.

By: leftcoastbob

leftcoastbob — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 23:12:15 -0800

No one actually read the whole thing, did they??

By: booksandlibretti

booksandlibretti — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 23:37:43 -0800

Direct link to Julie Andrews flashing. So you don't have to scroll through the whole thing looking for it as I did (of course).

By: orthogonality

orthogonality — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 23:43:26 -0800

leftcoastbob writes "No one actually read the whole thing, did they??" I scanned it. The bottom part, coped from the UK Telegraph newspaper, is a real article about three great-nephews of Adolf Hitler who now live in Long Island. That would have made a good FPP; but the insane rambling about Julie Andrews are just sad.

By: LeLiLo

LeLiLo — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 00:09:30 -0800

I was with him until the part where he said "Hello!"

By: tracicle

tracicle — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 00:28:33 -0800

That guy must hate himself so much to come up with a story like that.

By: maryh

maryh — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 00:32:01 -0800

"Therefore take the zookeeper's advice and keep the faith like Julie Andrews keeps her little secrets from you." This could make for a really great song lyric.

By: uncanny hengeman

uncanny hengeman — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 01:23:31 -0800

What orthogonality said. A Hitler fought for the allies!

By: SassHat

SassHat — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 01:24:08 -0800

Wow. It's late, and I'm really glad that this doesn't make sense to anyone else. Right?

By: sgt.serenity

sgt.serenity — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 01:38:01 -0800

looks like a research book for an art project.

By: Joeforking

Joeforking — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 02:32:14 -0800

I created a 14 hours long video edition and mailed it to "Mr Blake Edwards". I bet you did, you loony.

By: bering

bering — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 02:58:46 -0800

Wow, all of the visual noise kind of makes up an interesting collage of craziness. No chronology and no coherence. Just scrolling through and reading a few words here and there is hilarious and frightening at the same time. Also, crazy eyes makes me laugh.

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 03:45:35 -0800

Plain text and picture web pages are the bestest. It reminds of a guy in Ottawa who would stick typewritten and photocopied anti-medication rants on all the cars downtown every couple of days.

By: psychomedia

psychomedia — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 03:48:28 -0800

It seems like he's Finnish, and if he is indeed Finnish, it all does make sense considering the main paths you go down in life as a Finn: a) Commit suicide b) Drink copious amounts of Vodka c) Go hiking on your snow scooter d) Meet Santa e) Smoke joints the size of a 12 inch erection If you combine the lot of it in moderate portions (very moderate on the suicide part) in an attempt to reach the golden Finnish average, well, that's probably how you'll end up. But what do I know...

By: emelenjr

emelenjr — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 04:09:08 -0800

Metafilter: Beep! Beep! Zap! Beep! Zap! Beep! Zap! Beeep!! Zaaap!!

By: alumshubby

alumshubby — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 04:31:05 -0800

This is what happens when people trade in their antipsychotic meds for a copy of MS FrontPage 98.

By: slimepuppy

slimepuppy — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 04:58:11 -0800

Hey. Been reading metafilter for ages now, and finally decided to bite the bullet and sign up, because... I know this man. I worked with him at the port of Helsinki for several years. Which makes finding this link on metafilter (and memepool) even more weird. He has a degree in philosophy and, among other things, spent a year in England living as a monk... He's one of the most calm and collected, practically Zen-like people I have ever met. Very polite, intelligent and funny. Which makes this site even more weird. It feels like an artistic self-project of sorts. Also, the direct link to the image of Andrews flashing is called "Kidutus" which is Finnish for "torture". This is also quite recent thing as well, as the image of Jet Li is from a recent film... Shame I don't work there anymore so I could ask him what the fuck is going on... Now to provide some insight to fashion in Helsinki.

By: Dr. Wu

Dr. Wu — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 05:05:07 -0800

slimepuppy, that is weird and amazing. It's a small internets. So, in your opinion, is this whole thing some sort of joke, or a spoof on internet-wacko sites? I'd believe it. The whole thing is very, uh, thorougly realized, which is a product either of decaying grey matter or of genuine cleverness.

By: slimepuppy

slimepuppy — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 05:57:30 -0800

I... I don't know... It's all terribly confusing. It's the picture of Minnie being licked by Pluto and Mickey sodomising Donald with a broom that worries and confuses me the most, I think. Reading the site, it all seems to be about HIM and the connection with Julie Andrews and Hitler is just a byline. My theory: it is some kind of self-portrait pastiche done in the style of an internet conspiracy theory. Or maybe he finally has gone insane.

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 06:03:10 -0800

Been reading metafilter for ages now, and finally decided to bite the bullet and sign up, because... I know this man. Are the walls moving? Is the room shrinking? Onko totta, että suomalaisessa jouluperinteessä joulupukki oli lapsia syövä villisika?

By: Mercaptan

Mercaptan — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 06:09:41 -0800

Spoof or crazy, this is a great piece of, dare I say it, outsider art.

By: alumshubby

alumshubby — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 06:14:50 -0800

I desperately want to believe that this is a prank -- clever, creative and perhaps a bit too detailed, but a put-on like the Penthouse forum letters that you just know were created by a team of bored fraternity boys trying to come up with the most elaborate sex fantasy they could write together. The way the tone of the writing alternates between off-the-deep-end nutty and halfway reasonable is strangelyly compelling.

By: slimepuppy

slimepuppy — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 06:20:30 -0800

Are the walls moving? Is the room shrinking? I'm thinking metafilter has finally become the Nietzschean abyss that's gazing back into me... Ja en ole ikinä kuullutkaan tuosta jouluperinteestä. Valitettavasti. Ainakin omat vanhempani selittivät asioita joulutontuilla, itse pukki oli liian kiireinen meille tulemaan. Joskin pitää varmaan lapsilleni (jahka niitä kerkeän tekemään) tuosta lapsia syövästä villisiasta. Säästytään varmaan turhalta vikisemiseltä jouluaattona...

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 06:36:59 -0800

Wow, I really didn't think they could get acid that good in Belgium. Shows what I know, but maybe its all those fancy European designer drugs.

By: antifuse

antifuse — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 07:14:06 -0800

That site is just... crazy. Wow.

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 07:18:59 -0800

Finally, I don't try to get my real mother but the evil system itself that has left her no choice but to collaborate or become "vaporized". Translation? Anyone?

By: nixerman

nixerman — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 07:30:35 -0800

The internet nutjob aesthetic is definitely one of the most interesting artistic movements out there. It may actually be our last best hope against the media overcommunications industry.

By: klangklangston

klangklangston — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 08:00:55 -0800

Does this all make sense in Finnish?

By: I Foody

I Foody — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 08:05:30 -0800

Reminds me of this

By: smcniven

smcniven — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 08:10:29 -0800

It reminds of a guy in Ottawa who would stick typewritten and photocopied anti-medication rants on all the cars downtown every couple of days I had to draft responses to some of the letters he used to send to my Minister's office. I used to hate getting those dockets.

By: slimepuppy

slimepuppy — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 08:11:36 -0800

klangklanston, no, it really doesn't.

By: tommasz

tommasz — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 08:17:38 -0800

To quote Hank Hill: That boy ain't right.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 08:31:36 -0800

I don't think this is madness (compare scarabic's God Apollo link for the real thing); it's too well written and funny. You've got to like this guy:

Maybe this a monarchist or rather anti-monarchist plot where I am supposed to find myself as king Oliver the First of Finland! Then on the left a woman who is standing next to me would be my queen: her name is Elizaveta, and she is a sailor's widow and common whore from St. Petersburg who wanted everything from me, but she wasn't willing to share anything with me although I had to share her with other men. Lisa, tell me do you see before you a king? This tired, sickening man, this country oaf, crude in speech and manner? This rough fellow, does he display the bearing of a king?

To me, it's like something Nabokov might have done if he'd been a Finnish philosopher/monk with a website (not comparing it in terms of literary quality, just playfulness and rich imagining). I could be wrong, but if he's a nutter, that's the kind of nutter I want to be if I go around the bend.

By: lodurr

lodurr — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 08:42:08 -0800

Remind me of some old zine pastup stuff I saw back in the '80s/'90s. But much more playful. I wonder if Julie & Blake have seen it.

By: mazola

mazola — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 08:50:20 -0800

Reminds me of someone else.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 11:07:16 -0800

Damn. I was going to post this as an FPP. Only my FPP was along the lines of "[link]batshitinsane[/link]. Schizophrenia is a miserable, confusing hell. [links to schizo support sites]." I am so thankful that I am not schizoid. Could there be a worse fate?

By: Bugbread

Bugbread — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 11:11:32 -0800

five fresh fish : "I am so thankful that I am not schizoid. Could there be a worse fate?" I can think of quite a few.

By: melissa may

melissa may — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 11:12:06 -0800

Languagehat, I agree; it reads like conspiracy theorist meets self-obsessed autobiographer meets ultimate celebrity stalker, a kind of playful hit parade of the worst sins of self-publishing. But just when I'm convinced he's doing a send-up, he'll pull some quote or receipt or photograph to verify the story -- another old trick, for sure, but he does it well enough that I'm almost ready to believe that he's been trying to communicate with Julie Andrews. (It just forcibly hit me how weird it must be for those assistants who open an iconic celebrity's mail; such people must have something of the gallows humor of cops or ambulance drivers.) If it's parody, it's wonderful: Nabokov, definitely, with broad strokes of Ignatius J. Reilly for good measure. If it's not, well holy god. And if it's somewhere in the middle -- if he's got the power to both be completely unhinged and to observe and mock his own unhingedness -- then I have no idea how to end this sentence except to say that's pretty damn interesting too. (Slimepuppy, I'm so glad that you posted that fascinating bit. I hope you've got a taste for it now and stick around.)

By: funambulist

funambulist — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 14:22:24 -0800

It does sound like some kind of parody. The bit languagehat quoted is just too funny. I still want to know if this is a parody or not. I'm voting genuine craziness for that one, but you never know...

By: 999

999 — Sat, 03 Dec 2005 18:11:32 -0800

This is the funniest thing I have read for weeks. I was most amused by the rat&cat algebra; the final line had me in stitches: "Or take this: `If a cat can kill a rat in a minute, how long would it be killing 60,000 rats?' Ah, how long, indeed! My private opinion is that the rats would kill the cat."

By: ParisParamus

ParisParamus — Sat, 03 Dec 2005 18:30:30 -0800

An uber WTF?! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?