Comments on: "I apologize for nothing!"

"I apologize for nothing!"

Galvatron — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 14:51:13 -0800

Inspired by the deep fried bacon double Quarter Pounder? Behold the deep fried brat in all its monounsaturated glory.

By: galimatias

galimatias — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 14:54:38 -0800

Can't move . . . arteries clogging . . .

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 14:55:53 -0800

urp.

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 14:56:54 -0800

"We sold 26,000 in one day."

By: rollbiz

rollbiz — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:01:01 -0800

26,000 in 18 days blazecock.

By: sourwookie

sourwookie — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:03:16 -0800

I was thinking that I could make mad bank with a booth at the State Fair that sold deep fried White Castles. This is Missouri. I'm sure the line would be a mile long.

By: CunningLinguist

CunningLinguist — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:12:46 -0800

I got that beat. Behold, the Krispy Kreme bacon cheeseburger. The decline and fall of an empire in only one thousand calories.

By: XQUZYPHYR

XQUZYPHYR — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:18:54 -0800

Dubbed the "Luther Burger," its Atlanta creators Chandler Goff and Jeff Girard, owners of Mulligan's Bar and Grill, fine-tuned a recipe they found in a magazine and created the artery-clogging cheeseburger. Horseshit. They watched the episode of The Boondocks where the burger appeared. Either me or ABC News doesn't have a fact-checker and I'm pretty sure it ain't me.

By: XQUZYPHYR

XQUZYPHYR — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:22:59 -0800

Hmm... Wikipedia claims Mulligan's created it first. I am skeptical. Someone find me a fact-checker.

By: Galvatron

Galvatron — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:24:45 -0800

If the Krispy Kreme burger were itself battered and fried, only then would it be a contender.

By: CunningLinguist

CunningLinguist — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:25:56 -0800

But it already *is* fried batter.

By: Galvatron

Galvatron — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:29:33 -0800

Yeah, but I can clearly see the bacon and burger in the photos; there's no crisp outer shell. Weak, I tell you.

By: disgruntled

disgruntled — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:43:54 -0800

A side order of Poutine would make this meal especially heinous.

By: Eideteker

Eideteker — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:44:36 -0800

I present to you: The Luther. See, youtube is good for some things.

By: kalimac

kalimac — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:44:39 -0800

Somewhat despite myself - mmmmmm. That looks guuud. Of course, I also think Scotch eggs are the best thing going.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:50:39 -0800

Where the hell is jonmc?

By: koreth

koreth — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:55:15 -0800

Ah, these are all missing the point of the matter: MEAT. MORE MEAT. Are you cow enough? (Well, really the second line says "Enough BEEF for you?" but you could also translate it the other way.)

By: Eideteker

Eideteker — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:55:57 -0800

He's off making Devo references in coal threads.

By: scruss

scruss — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 15:58:14 -0800

Meh. It'll never replace the deep fried macaroni and cheese pie.

By: sacre_bleu

sacre_bleu — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 16:09:58 -0800

So what's that batter made of? It looks ... yellow.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 16:11:59 -0800

Deep-fried lard would be nice, maybe with a sprinkle of icing sugar and cinammon.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 16:14:00 -0800

meh. Unless it's covered in rich creamery butter, I'm not interested.

By: galimatias

galimatias — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 16:16:14 -0800

White Castle Casserole? It's WC burgers, covered in beef chili, EZ-Cheez, and jalapenos, then baked and served. Mmmm. Or, you could just go with a Monster Thickburger. It's actually healthier to wrap some bacon around a stick of butter and eat that.

By: sharksandwich

sharksandwich — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 16:19:26 -0800

"I had some brats that I was going to broil up in my oven. " WTF?

By: jonmc

jonmc — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 16:26:45 -0800

Where the hell is jonmc? toweling off.

By: dobbs

dobbs — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 16:42:57 -0800

Reminds me of the Taco Town skit.

By: digaman

digaman — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 16:47:44 -0800

You can only eat so many alfalfa sprouts and wheatgrass juice before you crave something with a little heft.

By: First Post

First Post — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 17:13:08 -0800

Apparently the R&B/urban legend concerning Luther Vandross' actual invention of the Luther burger came first. Then the restaurant version. Then the recent Boondocks episode.

By: emelenjr

emelenjr — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 17:21:10 -0800

No burger would be complete without pickles. (Looks like Maury has landed on his feet after getting axed by MSNBC...)

By: eamondaly

eamondaly — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 17:31:33 -0800

Been there, done that, made apple brat patties and corn brats, too.

By: solid-one-love

solid-one-love — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 17:34:53 -0800

WTF? Brats, cut in half lengthwise and broiled in the oven, maybe glazed with a little something, are great.

By: Serial Killer Slumber Party

Serial Killer Slumber Party — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 18:01:22 -0800

So who else skipped the 'b' when reading 'deep fried brats'?

By: snsranch

snsranch — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 18:06:19 -0800

Not only would I eat it, I would put some hot mustard or wasabi on it too.

By: wendell

wendell — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 18:12:44 -0800

Nothin' more than a Supersized Hot Dog on a Stick... big whoop... ...you do know that the show the Maury clip came from has been Povich's day job for years, don't you? ...and Hardee's Monster Thickburger is beat by its West Coast sister chain Carls Jr's Double Six Dollar Burger by ten calories (1420 vs 1410), with six less grams of fat, 15 more of carbs, more cholesterol and you haven't even added the bacon yet. However, my favorite fast food suicide is via Del Taco, whose Macho Beef Burrito comes in at 1170 calories and where you can get a side of Deluxe Chili Cheese Fries at 710 calories. And their spokesman is the same actor who plays Kenny, the gay copy store guy on "My Name Is Earl". And Del Tacos (or, as you may call 'em DTs) are only here on the Left Side of the country. (And I recently moved to where the nearest Del Taco is 30 miles away - I'm doing something right.

By: iloveit

iloveit — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 18:46:55 -0800

Or, you could just go with a Monster Thickburger. It's actually healthier to wrap some bacon around a stick of butter and eat that. This sounds like pure hyperbole but it is very close to being a factual statement. One stick of butter contains 800 Kcal. but is mostly fat; containing 92g of fat of which 58g are saturated. The bacon (assuming 5 relatively thin slices, cooked) would contain ~250 Kcal. along with 15g of fat / 5g saturated. Combine the two and you're looking at 1050 Kcal. with 107g fat and 63g saturated fats. The "Monster Thickburger" contains 1410 Kcal. along with 107g of fat, of which 45g are saturated fats. Wow, the stick of bacon'd butter actually has fewer calories and the same amount of fat. Sadly, our buttery concoction beats the "hamburger" on saturated fat content; containing 315% of the RDA values for a 2000 Kcal. diet. The hamburger contains only 225% of your recommended daily allowance of saturated fats. So, while this sandwich-type product has more calories than a stick of butter wrapped in bacon, the porkbutter has an extra day's worth of saturated fat without the protein, fiber or carbohydrates. Not nearly the difference you'd expect between a horrific hypothetical snack and a widely advertised, commercially available, ready-to-eat food product.

By: Richard Daly

Richard Daly — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 18:54:06 -0800

Metafilter: not nearly the difference you'd expect between a horrific hypothetical snack and a widely advertised, commercially available, ready-to-eat food product.

By: TedW

TedW — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 19:16:19 -0800

Wendell, until recently one of the high points of my annual trip to St. Simon's Island was a visit to the Del Taco there; there used to be a number in my hometown but they vanished or were taken over by that upstart Taco Bell. I was surprised to learn when visiting the corporate site you linked to that that location is not only the only one in GA, but the only one east of the Mississippi! For those who want to feel (marginally) better about their fried foods, there is always deep fried corn on the cob. I have done this and it is really good, especially done with the freshest, sweetes corn you can find. I also cook it less than this recipes specifies.

By: brain cloud

brain cloud — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 19:17:12 -0800

That's all well and good, iloveit, but if you were really committed, you'd batter and deep-fry that sucker.

By: trondant

trondant — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 19:36:23 -0800

that upstart Taco Bell Taco Bell is a form of self-abuse. Seriously, Mexican Pizza? I'm surprised Mormons haven't started picketing over that one.

By: jason's_planet

jason's_planet — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 20:33:19 -0800

Deep fried brats? How utterly fucking girly! Real men chow down on deep fried pizza.

By: symbioid

symbioid — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 21:44:33 -0800

I've just been surfing wikipedia all night long under their "American Quisine" category... I'm trying to lose weight and find decent foods... So I ran across a lot of interesting, new (to me) shit. This is absurd! I loved that Taco Town clip, jesus christ, it's so true. I was just talking to my partner how I wondered what a deep-fried oreo would taste like.

By: symbioid

symbioid — Sun, 25 Jun 2006 21:45:30 -0800

And oh... growing up I used to make chili cheese dogs with mashed potatos on top of the dog, before the chili. That shit rocked! And when it comes to sandwiches/sloppy joes, I just HAVE to have chips crushed on them. I love the crunchy textury in my sandwiches... :)

By: CunningLinguist

CunningLinguist — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 03:43:29 -0800

I saw a deep fried oreo at a local street fair here in NYC the other week, but went for the funnel cake instead. Old habits die hard. They were selling like, erm, hotcakes, though. And godDAMN, iloveit, how is it possible that that burger has the same amount of fat as a stick of butter? It must be freakin huge! I wonder if they would sell more or less monster thickburgers if they advertised it as "the same as a bacon-wrapped stick of butter."

By: Fuzzy Monster

Fuzzy Monster — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 06:56:21 -0800

I'll stick with my Quadruple C (Collosal Colon Clogger Combo) from Dangerous Dan's: 24oz burger served with a quarter pound of cheese, a quarter pound of bacon, and 2 fried eggs. Also comes with a large shake (flavor of your choice) and a small poutine. Royale Option: comes with a deep-fried Mars Bar with whipped cream for dessert. Now That's Good Eatin'!

By: jack_mo

jack_mo — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 09:34:51 -0800

Real men chow down on deep fried pizza. You're right - living in Scotland, these deep fryings seem awfully mimsy. The strange thing about a deep fried pizza is that it is utterly, utterly delicious. When I lived around the corner from the King's chippie off Sauchiehall Street, I would have one once a week with five fritters (which are mashed potato deep fried in batter). I expect my first heart attack within ten years.

By: jack_mo

jack_mo — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 09:39:20 -0800

Oh, and I almost forgot the Stonner Kebab: sausage, wrapped in donner kebab meat, battered and deep fried. It weighs 3lbs, comes with chips.

By: jason's_planet

jason's_planet — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 10:25:23 -0800

Oh, and I almost forgot the Stonner Kebab: sausage, wrapped in donner kebab meat, battered and deep fried. It weighs 3lbs, comes with chips. Damn. I could feel my cholesterol levels jump just looking at that thing.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 11:02:43 -0800

I think I remember reading that a large poutine could have 500 grams of fat. That makes the stonner kabob little more than an appetizer. I believe that poutine serves as a replacement for the old time standard Canadian hunter's winter meal of a fatty pig's leg and foot.

By: cellphone

cellphone — Mon, 26 Jun 2006 16:46:07 -0800

I think I'm going to throw up.

By: routergirl

routergirl — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 00:06:00 -0800

Gah. People really eat these?

By: asok

asok — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 04:37:25 -0800

People can eat them because the usual 'I've eaten too much' warnings aren't associated with lard, salt and sugar.

By: jack_mo

jack_mo — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 04:53:45 -0800

I think I remember reading that a large poutine could have 500 grams of fat. That makes the stonner kabob little more than an appetizer. I really have to try poutine. In fact, I should probably set up a poutine shack in Glasgow on a Saturday night with a sign saying 'Will kill you faster than Scottish food!' on it. Would make millions.

By: flabdablet

flabdablet — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 11:35:32 -0800

Can't believe nobody's brought up the deep fried Mars Bar. I know I have.