Comments on: No more squeezin'

No more squeezin'

miss lynnster — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 10:59:23 -0800

Mr. Whi pple is dead. Lon g li ve Mr. Whi pple. Oh how we loved you.

The altern atives will just never compare. (PLEASE do not miss the first link in "alternatives." You will be sorry.)

By: Thorzdad

Thorzdad — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:04:44 -0800

Damn. That sucks. One more bit of childhood ephemera gone. .

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:08:00 -0800

. Aw, man. (spools out a fresh roll of Charmin on the curb)

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:08:12 -0800

*dabs at tears and squeezes Charmin*

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:09:43 -0800

To think they sank from Mr. Whipple and them there singers on moving boxes, who were magnificent in a 70s giant-sideburns sort of way, down to the depths of horrible cavorting poop bears that haunt my nightmares. Shame, Charmin, shame.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:10:17 -0800

*dabs at tears and squeezes Charmin* *squeezes something else, dabs at something that ain't tears*

By: QuietDesperation

QuietDesperation — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:14:10 -0800

Okay, reality check. Nothing against Dick Wilson, who was feeding his family, but the Charmin commercials were a prime example of the contempt with which advertisers held the intelligence of American audiences in that era. These asinine commercials were torture, and worse, they were unavoidable, as P&G, the first company with a billion-dollar ad budget, plagued the airwaves with them constantly.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:15:49 -0800

Yeah, you're right QuietDesperation. Things are sooooooo much better now.

By: yhbc

yhbc — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:24:24 -0800

I'm with QuietDesperation. I am sure the actor Dick Wilson, was a very nice man and will be greatly missed by his friends and family, but I will shed no more tears at the eventual, inevitable, passing of the "zoom-zoom!" kid than I am for Mr. Whipple.

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:28:44 -0800

By: Unicorn on the cob

Unicorn on the cob — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:28:50 -0800

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:30:49 -0800

QuietDesperation: relax. they were ads for buttwipes.

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:31:53 -0800

posted by QuietDesperation the Charmin commercials were a prime example of the contempt with which advertisers held the intelligence of American audiences in that era. These asinine commercials were torture, and worse, they were unavoidable, as P&G, the first company with a billion-dollar ad budget, plagued the airwaves with them constantly. Say what? The "Mr. Whipple" campaign was the work of Benton & Bowles in the mid '60s, running from 1965 until 1989. In 1979 a poll showed Mr. Whipple was the third best known American, behind Richard Nixon and Billy Graham. Over forty years later, Mr. Whipple continues to live on as an icon for the Charmin brand. That's a brilliant--and tremendously successful--ad campaign. Today's ad agencies can only wish they could be one-tenth as brilliant as the folks who invented Mr Whipple.

By: mistersquid

mistersquid — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:36:36 -0800

Actually, the title to the FPP is wrong. We have been liberated from the perverse hypocrisy of that selfish despot Mr. Whipple, who was forever commanding others "Don't squeeze the Charmin" while copping secret feels for and by himself. Now we can squeeze, with abandon, four-pack rolls of plushy cushy Charmin like the disembodied buttocks they are. *squeezes Charmin, deriving no pleasure* How dare he die and take his taboo with him. Wiping my bottom will never be the same. Goodbye, Mr. Whipple. I'll try to think of you at least once a day, mostly likely in the morning right after my bran flakes and coffee. .

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:37:20 -0800

It's sort of funny how back then nobody batted an eye over some middle aged man being obsessed over protecting rolls of asswipe. As I grew older, every time I saw one of his commercials, I always found his obsession somewhat creepy and unsettling. Yes Mr. Whipple; at the expense of all else we MUST PROTECT THESE ROLLS OF PAPER WHICH ARE USED TO WIPE THE EXCREMENT OFF OF AMERICA"S BOTTOMS!!

By: DU

DU — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:39:59 -0800

Mr Whipple was still alive??

By: DU

DU — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:41:42 -0800

I will shed no more tears at the eventual, inevitable, passing of the "zoom-zoom!" kid than I am for Mr. Whipple. I like that kid.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:43:32 -0800

Today's ad agencies can only wish they could be one-tenth as brilliant as the folks who invented Mr Whipple. I think it works both ways. While I'll always associate Mr. Whipple with Charmin as it is now embedded in my DNA, there was another commercial from the 70s that haunts me to this day. I can't remember the product but I remember the loud, overbearing wife who sells out her huband: "My husband! Some hotshot. Here's his ancient Chinese secret...."

By: mediareport

mediareport — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:47:28 -0800

For Kevin

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:50:13 -0800

Was that the Raid ad lady who cried, "Roaches! Ants! Flying bugs!" as she frantically swatted the floor with a broom?

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:50:38 -0800

. Good bye Mr. Whipple, you closeted Charmins squeezer.

By: Gungho

Gungho — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:51:28 -0800

@___

By: stupidsexyFlanders

stupidsexyFlanders — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:52:04 -0800

from everything2.com: The original Calgon commercial featured a Mr. Lee and Mrs. Lee who run a laundry. A flummoxed customer can't understand how Mr. Lee (who presumably mans the counter and flirts with female customers while his wife does all the hard work in back) can get shirts so clean. The dialog runs: Customer: How do you get your shirts so clean, Mr. Lee? Mr. Lee: Ancient Chinese Secret. (cut to Mrs. Lee working her ass off in back) Mrs. Lee: My husband, some hot shot. Here's his ancient Chinese secret. Calgon. Calgon's two water softeners soften wash waters so detergents clean better, In hardest water, Calgon helps detergents get laundry up to 30% cleaner. (Mrs. Lee then appears from the back with an empty box Calgon) Mrs. Lee: (yelling at husband and shaking the box in his face) We need more Calgon! Customer: (to Mr. Lee in an astonished voice) Ancient Chinese Secret, Huh!

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:52:29 -0800

Holy crap, I'd forgotten about that ad. God damn, that's hilariously offensive. I must show this to my Chinese wife immediately.

By: Spatch

Spatch — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:52:45 -0800

And yet nobody ever laments the Ti-D-Bowl Man, presumably lost at sea.

By: QuietDesperation

QuietDesperation — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 11:56:34 -0800

Today's ad agencies can only wish they could be one-tenth as brilliant as the folks who invented Mr Whipple. Not true. You're confusing big adspend with good advertising. I was an ad copywriter for years, and the idea was always to do things that were memorable and at the same time interesting or funny. Consider Bill Bernbach's or Jerry Della Femina's contributions: the VW print ads, those wonderful Alka Seltzer TV ads with their double entendres ("I can't believe I ate the whole thing'). Anyone seeing one of those insipid Charmin commercials once would have forgotten it. However, P&G's policy was always massive exposure, so you would see them every day on every station. That's why you remember them.

By: Smart Dalek

Smart Dalek — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:02:09 -0800

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:04:43 -0800

These asinine commercials were torture, and worse, they were unavoidable, as P&G, the first company with a billion-dollar ad budget, plagued the airwaves with them constantly. I agree with all of that, and with the rest of your comment. But it is still true that those ads were like Ibsen compared to the thrice-damned shitbears waving their cartoon bums in our faces.

By: mistersquid

mistersquid — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:05:58 -0800

Mr. Whipple in da house.

By: cavalier

cavalier — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:07:24 -0800

Thanks miss lynnster! Apparently I'm at a loss for other phrases today, so I'll have to say -- that first alternative link blew my mind.

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:10:29 -0800

posted by QuietDesperation You're confusing big adspend with good advertising. I was an ad copywriter for years, and the idea was always to do things that were memorable and at the same time interesting or funny. Consider Bill Bernbach's or Jerry Della Femina's contributions: the VW print ads, those wonderful Alka Seltzer TV ads with their double entendres ("I can't believe I ate the whole thing'). Anyone seeing one of those insipid Charmin commercials once would have forgotten it. However, P&G's policy was always massive exposure, so you would see them every day on every station. That's why you remember them. Interesting, because I too have worked for large ad agencies. I'd submit the reason we remember Mr. Whipple was due to both massive exposure and a memorable hook: "Squeezably Soft." While P&G indeed flooded the market with their ads, there's no denying one of the reasons the Mr. Whipple campaign and brand icon was so successful was due to its inherent, memorable silliness. The fact Mr. Whipple lives on forty years after his launch--well, that's good advertising and branding, no matter how you slice it.

By: hojoki

hojoki — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:12:09 -0800

I remember the Charmin ads because it was some old guy telling me not to do something. It was the 70's, man, you couldn't tell us not to do something. Don't squeeze the Charmin? Screw you, I'm squeezin' it! And I'm buying more next week and squeezin' it again. Take that, establishment!

By: homunculus

homunculus — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:21:25 -0800

Didn't they once say on Mythbusters that Adam Savage's TV debut was in a Charmin commercial?

By: Fuzzy Monster

Fuzzy Monster — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:27:28 -0800

I still miss Michael Vale, AKA Fred The Baker. "It's Time To Make The Donuts"... in Heaven.

By: itchylick

itchylick — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:28:54 -0800

Things are sooooooo much better now. Today's commericals suck in new and different ways, but at least we have a skip button now. Does anyone really still watch ads? Other than on Superbowl Sunday when we are punished for all that skipping.

By: PlusDistance

PlusDistance — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:32:45 -0800

Mr. Whipple might be gone, but the social Conservatism movement he helped create is still with us: people like Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, Rush Limbaugh, who so adamantly warned us not to squeeze the Charmin of personal irresponsibility, and then were so hilariously caught throttling away at their own tightly-held rolls. Bon voyage, my hyper-vigilant stock clerk. Your legacy is in good hands.

By: autodidact

autodidact — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:35:27 -0800

"You better squeeze all the Charmin you can, when Mr Whipple's not around. Stick your head in the microwave and give yourself a tan!" /Weird Al, Dare To Be Stupid

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:36:15 -0800

Gungho writes: @___ No, no, goddamit, it's ______ @

By: Ella Fynoe

Ella Fynoe — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:37:38 -0800

How can this be the first post ever to use the "squeezing" tag? Reminded me of the AT hiker my friend met who ate a squeeze bottle of margarine every day because it was the most space-effective way to carry the requisite number of calories. Fortunately, that was before YouTube.

By: zorro astor

zorro astor — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 12:53:53 -0800

.[/defiantly squeezes Charmin now that the now that civil order has crumbled. ]

By: homunculus

homunculus — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 13:07:12 -0800

Ah, yup, asavage was the stock boy.

By: Fuzzy Monster

Fuzzy Monster — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 13:26:01 -0800

On the next 'Mythbusters': If you squeeze the Charmin in a car trapped underwater... what happens?

By: DenOfSizer

DenOfSizer — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 13:56:07 -0800

Even before the first sentence of the FPP was over, I knew this would be a much-commented-upon thread.

By: konolia

konolia — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 14:07:47 -0800

EVERYTHING was cheesy back in the day. EVERYTHING. Farewell, Mr Whipple. I listened to you, kept my hands off the Charmin, and saved money by buying Scott instead.

By: HuronBob

HuronBob — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 14:19:29 -0800

I grew up in that era... think of this... walking down the aisle at the grocery store, it was almost expected that you would reach out and squeeze the Charmin... and, hell, since you already had your hand on it, you might as well buy that brand... it worked... "Farewell, Mr Whipple. I listened to you, kept my hands off the Charmin, and saved money by buying Scott instead." posted by konolia except, evidently for konolia, who did whatever he was told and never had any fun....

By: konolia

konolia — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 14:28:09 -0800

It was being counter-counter culture. Plus I am CHEAP when it comes to something I plan to flush.

By: dhartung

dhartung — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 15:16:43 -0800

Hey, Mr. Whipple was also hated back in the day. I think they even put it up to a poll once whether they would continue them (he won, narrowly). A later newspaper column found them the most hated ads of all time. I know my family detested their vapidity and cheesiness. But you have to admit it wasn't just the ad budget that made them successful. There are two aspects that really made it a home run of an ad campaign/hook. First, the obvious reverse psychology angle. They want people squeezing the rolls in the store, because they think they have a winning brand difference (and if they don't they want the association anyway). But second you have the creepy sexual subtext. Squeezing, as ROU_Xenophobe pointed out, is what you do in order to use the product. And just watch the way his fingers "play" the paper rolls. It's anal eroticism before anal eroticism dared speak its name.

By: cookie-k

cookie-k — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 15:49:39 -0800

They beat the shit out of those stupid dinglebears.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 15:59:56 -0800

This is not at all directed at homonculous, but do all roads here HAVE to always lead to asavage? It comes across as kinda creepy sometimes, especially when his name is brought up as a total nonsequitor to the topic (although yes, I understand that this time he is apparently linked to the Whipple ouvre). The man seems nice and I enjoy his show, but think about it... 139 people link to him as their contact. He links back to NOBODY. And I don't blame him one tiny bit, ya freakin' sycophants with your stalkery celebrity batsignals! I'd be keeping my distance and avoiding prolonged eye contact with ya too. Okay, I got that off my chest. I'm fine now. Please resume in memoriam Charmin squeezing.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 16:57:04 -0800

Squeezing, as ROU_Xenophobe pointed out I'm pretty sure that's an insult to the act of pointing things out.

By: kitchenrat

kitchenrat — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:03:24 -0800

i had always hoped mr. whipple would stop by my house one morning and wipe my ass... with his mustache.

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 17:46:01 -0800

He's squeezin' that big roll a' Charmin in the sky, now!

By: snsranch

snsranch — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:04:46 -0800

I think the first time I touched a girl's butt, I said, "Oops, squeezed the Charmin!" .

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:41:36 -0800

God I hate those fucking bears.

By: pearlybob

pearlybob — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:44:41 -0800

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:52:54 -0800

God I hate those fucking bears. Those bears are the real Axis of Evil.

By: davidmsc

davidmsc — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:19:44 -0800

As a child growing up in the 70s with the last name "Sherman" -- well, you can imagine how much I hated those damn commercials. How many times did I hear, "Don't squeeze the SHERMAN!" But geez -- yeah, who knew Mr Whipple was still kickin' it in the year 2007? Good on him, and RIP.

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:21:44 -0800

Those bears are just asking for it.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 19:33:26 -0800

Say what you like about the shitbears, they're still better than Snuggles the Fabric Softener Lovecraftian-Nightmare Bear.

By: bwg

bwg — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 20:46:52 -0800

(Mrs. Lee then appears from the back with an empty box Calgon) "Don't worry, Mrs. Jones, all those sex stains came right out!"

By: The Deej

The Deej — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 23:40:23 -0800

*panting* someone here mention asavage?!

By: Vavuzi

Vavuzi — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 23:47:01 -0800

But it is still true that those ads were like Ibsen compared to the thrice-damned shitbears waving their cartoon bums in our faces. --ROU_Xenophobe And this, ladies and gentleman, is both my favorite saying of the day and the reason I read MeFi. Thank you, R. I am soooo using the term "thrice-damned shitbear" at work tomorrow.

By: lapolla

lapolla — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 02:04:20 -0800

metafilter: horrible cavorting poop bears that haunt my nightmares.