Comments on: Anchors Aweigh

Anchors Aweigh

Marisa Stole the Precious Thing — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 02:39:43 -0800

The raccoon dog is native to China, Korea, Japan, and southeastern Siberia. Adults measure about 65 cm (2 ft) and weight ranges from 4 to 10 kg (9 to 22 lb). Average litters are large, up to 15 or more pups. Longevity is 3–4 years in the wild and up to 11 years in captivity. The species is found in both plains and mountainous regions and is especially common in woodlands. The Raccoon Dog is commonly seen near villages and in rural areas. They absolutely cannot enlarge their scrotums.

By: chillmost

chillmost — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 02:59:39 -0800

It all makes sense now. Bizarre animal-body-part-porn is an old Japanese tradition. Tentacle porn is the new enlarged raccoon dog scrotum.

By: Ghidorah

Ghidorah — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 03:21:28 -0800

How do you know about the scrotums? Have you ever asked one? Seriously though, one thing I'll always enjoy was seeing one dart across a mountain road one night after an English lesson. The guy driving me to the station seemed just as shocked as I was to see one in the wild, at least where we were. And you should really see Heisei Tanuki Gassen Pompoko, or, as I've heard it translated, The Heisei Tanuki War, a fictionalized telling of the destruction of a tanuki habitat near Tokyo, in order to build a wide swath of soulless, nigh identical concrete apartment blocks. Makes me weep every time I see it. Highly recommend.

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 03:35:30 -0800

Tanuki no kanban What. The. Fuck? Japan!

By: GooseOnTheLoose

GooseOnTheLoose — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 03:40:52 -0800

mushroom MUSHROOM

By: twoleftfeet

twoleftfeet — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 03:47:40 -0800

It's a sad commentary on modern life that enlarging one's scrotum will probably be the topic for numerous comments on this thread. In ancient days, scrotum enlargement was commonplace. Yogic techniques for scrotum enlargement are still taught in secret esoteric schools, but so few current novices deem it worthwhile to pursue these ancient teachings. Too bad for them, 'cos enlarged scrota really get the babes!

By: East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94

East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:10:02 -0800

Where were the scrotum-enlarging raccoon dog villains in Ōkami? We require a sequel. The difference between these Edo-period woodblock prints and a contemporary deviantART page is that no-one jerked it to the Edo-period woodblock prints. Maybe.

By: furtive

furtive — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:10:26 -0800

It's like a big hairy apron.

By: martinrebas

martinrebas — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:13:45 -0800

Tentacle porn is the new enlarged raccoon dog scrotum. Well, these prints were from 1842, and they had tentacle porn in 1820, already.

By: bonobo

bonobo — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:17:53 -0800

Fascinating! I was ignorant of the existence of raccoon dogs. These links prompted me to finally start using the tagging feature for Firefox bookmarks. I found my typical categories Art-->Art History-->Japan and Zoology-->Mammals woefully insufficient. "Scrotum" tag, FTW. Adding "WTF Japan"^ right now.

By: asok

asok — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:22:37 -0800

They look tasty, as they say on Metafilter whenever a new sea creature is featured, so why not apply the same reasoning here?

By: kcds

kcds — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:36:58 -0800

Buster Gonad and his Unfeasibly Large Testicles

By: Iteki

Iteki — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:38:34 -0800

What. The. Fuck? Japan! This the fuck. SLYT, just at the end.

By: Rykey

Rykey — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 04:53:14 -0800

I propose that the raccoon dog replace the pony in MeTa.

By: jadepearl

jadepearl — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:03:36 -0800

Asok, the racoon dog is already used as food in China. For several days at a conference I saw multiple variations of racoon dog being served. I was not sure if it was one of those dishes that was supposed to make you "strong" I did not partake since I was suffering several days of food poisoning and watching a lot of biographies of Mao on CCTV during my delirium.

By: pracowity

pracowity — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:04:33 -0800

How do the Japanese explain this to outsiders? (Or to themselves, for that matter.) Is it a joke that got out of hand? Do these animals have fur that makes their balls look unusually big?

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:05:56 -0800

twoleftfeet: It's a sad commentary on modern life that enlarging one's scrotum will probably be the topic for numerous comments on this thread. ...isn't that the raison d'etre for this post? In ancient days, scrotum enlargement was commonplace. Yogic techniques for scrotum enlargement are still taught in secret esoteric schools, but so few current novices deem it worthwhile to pursue these ancient teachings. Too bad for them, 'cos enlarged scrota really get the babes! See? Here's mine. "Scrota? I hardly know 'a!" Now that's sad commentary for ya. But srsly... Although Raccoon Dogs are relatively quiet and cannot bark they do have a broad vocal repertoire. This includes a wonderful mew not dissimilar to the hoot of an owl which never fails to make me smile - usually only expressed, in my experience, during periods of play, just prior to feeding or with the initial excitement of having young puppies in the vicinity. OMG, and they can be domesticated? Damn, that's just cute as all getgo. WANT.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:20:08 -0800

It's a sad commentary on modern life that enlarging one's scrotum will probably be the topic for numerous comments on this thread. Why is it a sad commentary on modern life when clearly it's been a topic of conversation for at least 150 years?

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:40:05 -0800

This the fuck. Well, certainly that the fuck!

By: Ghidorah

Ghidorah — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:41:56 -0800

It feels all weird to call them racoon dogs. They're neither, and Japan doesn't even have racoons, so Japanese people get all confused when you say 'racoon dog.' Tanuki. Say it with me: Tah-noo-key. Much better. They're kind of like the fox in Native American mythos. Trick playing shape-changers. Fun, lovable. Giant balls. Balls that can stretch to the size of (I think) ten tatami mats. Perfect for hosting a large picnic. On your balls.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:42:16 -0800

An open letter to the Most Honorable and Very Friendly Nation-State of Japan: Instead of invading the US with your soon to be completed army of ninja assassin killer robots it would probably be more effective and less costly for you to carpet bomb us with strange historical art prints and modern comic books. Go crazy. Dope up your most perverse, twisted artists, print it a hundred feet tall and aim for the Beltway. Heads will explode.

By: Capybara

Capybara — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:42:17 -0800

I had a friend from Japan while in school way back when, and she had a stuffed animal version-- this sort of vague mammal thing (I don't think she had an English word for it) that had these enormous stuffed animal 'nads, which of course had little ringie jingle bells inside so they'd jingle with a good whap. Very strange.

By: Balisong

Balisong — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:54:52 -0800

Pom Poko

By: Phanx

Phanx — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 05:58:37 -0800

Mind the bollocks.

By: Kiablokirk

Kiablokirk — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:08:13 -0800

Hmm. This reminds me of a story I read about a kid about seven magical brothers, one of whom had an iron neck, one of whom could swallow the sea, one of whom could not be burned... but instead, this is the story of seven magical animals, one of whom could enlarge his scrotum, one of whom could enlarge his scrotum, one of whom... I'd like to see them use THAT trick seven times to break their innocent identical twin out of prison. (Fool me once, shame on me. Fool me seven times with a magic scrotum...)

By: From Bklyn

From Bklyn — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:08:18 -0800

My God! I say well done sir, well done.

By: snofoam

snofoam — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:10:04 -0800

Japan is like Texas, things are bigger there.

By: snofoam

snofoam — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:12:42 -0800

Also, this is what they look like in statue form, with visible, but unenlarged balls.

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:28:46 -0800

Previously previously previously

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:30:11 -0800

The key to enlarging your scrotum is living a long time.

By: Mastercheddaar

Mastercheddaar — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:31:21 -0800

I cannot comprehend this. It's too early in the morning. However I do have one thing to add; I feel sorry for the girl raccoon dogs in these pictures. It is bad enough to give birth to one kid but imagine pushing out 15 of those large scrotumed ninja, dog, animalish things!

By: Curry

Curry — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:34:11 -0800

Scrotum enlargement? If anything I need a reduction technique.

By: dasheekeejones

dasheekeejones — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:36:40 -0800

And 99% of the cheap coats you see with 'fur trim' are from the Racoon Dog. They consider it like a regular racoon and could give two poops about it being considered "fur". JC Pennys got tons of flack for carrying coats with them. I wasn't too happy when I realized my coat had it too. I thought it was fake fur.

By: ricochet biscuit

ricochet biscuit — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:49:23 -0800

Metafilter: They absolutely cannot enlarge their scrotums.

By: Curry

Curry — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 06:52:53 -0800

This series of comic prints alludes to the supposed ability of raccoon dogs to voluntarily enlarge their scrotums. Talk about tripping balls.

By: sugarfish

sugarfish — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 07:24:21 -0800

My favorite pop culture tanuki is the shopkeper Tom Nook in the Nintendo game Animal Crossing. He always wears an apron, presumably to hide his giant balls and avoid scaring the American children.

By: sineater

sineater — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 07:28:04 -0800

I was looking for a video about a guy who injected silicon into his scrotum to make it absolutely huge. I didn't find it but instead found this (nsfw) unfortunate soul.

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 07:28:51 -0800

That 1820 tentacle porn is by a well-revered Japanese artist, no less. I don't know a lot of his work, but I saw his 36 views of Mount Fuji a few years back and was really impressed, especially as wood-block artwork boggles my mind a bit. He also made manga, including some with realistic illustrations of Tanuki.

By: solipsophistocracy

solipsophistocracy — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 07:28:59 -0800

Can you really have one of these as a pet? I really love tanukis. The article seems to imply that if you get ahold of em' early, they're super tame. Anybody ever hear of someone keeping one as a pet?

By: gdav

gdav — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 07:33:20 -0800

Japanese Penis Kittens from way back.

By: martin10bones

martin10bones — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 07:43:36 -0800

So apparently Mario's Tanuki Suit is not really a raccoon suit after all.

By: owtytrof

owtytrof — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 07:47:31 -0800

They absolutely cannot enlarge their scrotums. The evidence in that link would seem to indicate otherwise. mind boggling at using giant scrotum as umbrella or winter coat

By: tommasz

tommasz — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 07:55:40 -0800

I guess we know how they'll answer the "boxers or briefs?" question.

By: graventy

graventy — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 08:24:05 -0800

An interesting side note: the Tanuki suit in Super Mario 3 was initially going to have a parachute-type device formed from the enlarged scrota, but Miyamoto decided that it was too similar in functionality to the raccoon tail. Hey, it could be true!

By: Greg Nog

Greg Nog — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 08:28:48 -0800

How do the Japanese explain this to outsiders? (Or to themselves, for that matter.) Is it a joke that got out of hand? Japan : Tanuki :: New Hampshire : GG Allin It's not an easy thing to explain to outsiders, but for better or for worse, it's a part of our culture, alternately lovable and frightening.

By: quin

quin — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 08:46:53 -0800

They absolutely cannot enlarge their scrotums. And just like that, I have a new way to introduce myself when meeting people for the first time.

By: FatherDagon

FatherDagon — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:00:47 -0800

He always wears an apron, presumably to hide his giant balls I don't know if that's an apron...

By: sebastienbailard

sebastienbailard — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:21:32 -0800

The town of Shigaraki gave them the day off in November.

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:41:41 -0800

Really? No one has mentioned Tom Robbins's Villa Incognito yet? How... odd. One of the lead characters is a tanuki.

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:42:59 -0800

I sort of wish this was my introduction to Raccoon Dogs, but noooooo. PETA had/has a video of them being skinned alive I had the misfortune to see. Thanks, PETA, you're a swell!

By: Guy_Inamonkeysuit

Guy_Inamonkeysuit — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 09:48:05 -0800

filthy light thief, thank you from the bottom of my scrotum for that link to Hokusai's work! He's long been one of my favorite ukiyo-e artists, and I was wondering if he'd done any tanuki as I browsed this thread.

By: filthy light thief

filthy light thief — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:08:04 -0800

Guy_Inamonkeysuit - glad to help. I think I need to research the fellow more, as he seems to have had a most intriguing life. From the wiki article:

Hokusai was known by at least 30 names during his lifetime. Although the use of multiple names was a common practice of Japanese artists of the time, the numbers of names he used far exceeds that of any other major Japanese artist. Hokusai's name changes are so frequent, and so often related to changes in his artistic production and style, that they are useful for breaking his life up into periods.

And to be honest, I only found his tanuki manga through google this morning.

By: Ufez Jones

Ufez Jones — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:10:02 -0800

Thanks, PETA, you're a swell! See, it'd be kind of tempting to be snarky and point out your typo in some cocky fashion like "You're a swell what???" But I think it's probably kind of obvious this time around.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:15:35 -0800

I'd just like to point out that people seem to be confusing a large scrotum for large balls. If these racoon dogs had balls proportionate to their scrotae they would be unusable as an umbrella or cargo skid. Just a minor point, I realize, but important.

By: essband

essband — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:23:49 -0800

In one of my trips to the Japanese particle accelerator facility, KEK, we took a day trip to the ceramics town of Mashiko. Imagine my surprise upon first arriving in town, my first time in Japan, to be greeted by a giant statue of one of these large scroted beasts. Sadly, I did not buy one of the home-sized versions... (This is just a photo I found on someone's Flickr since my computer with photos from that trip crashed, but I couldn't resist sharing.)

By: nickyskye

nickyskye — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 10:26:58 -0800

Marvelous, funny old Japanese paintings, balls as fishing nets, signs, umbrellas. Loved the exaggeration-as-fun fantasies, which reminded me of a testicles version of the Four Yorkshiremen.

By: UbuRoivas

UbuRoivas — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:06:43 -0800

Yarbles! Great bolshy yarblockos.

By: qvantamon

qvantamon — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 12:26:47 -0800

See, it'd be kind of tempting to be snarky and point out your typo in some cocky fashion like "You're a swell what???" It's not a question of being cocky... It's more about having the cojones.

By: Barry B. Palindromer

Barry B. Palindromer — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 14:58:38 -0800

Ting-a-ling!

By: The Tensor

The Tensor — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:00:22 -0800

Scrotum? It nearly killed 'im!

By: mannequito

mannequito — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 15:30:46 -0800

Guy_Inamonkeysuit - Great, great book, and it's even my least favorite Robbins novel. The guy has a hilarious, unique take on any subject he writes about. I'd recommend it just for the portrait of Tanuki as a talking racoon dog, steadily drunk on sake and chasing Japanese girls. I should really read it again as now that I think about it I can't seem to remember how he ties that into the other plot, about the old Vietnam vets who went AWOL.

By: tehloki

tehloki — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 16:06:50 -0800

Speaking as a tehloki, while wild tanuki cannot make their balls any larger, wild tehlokis can. However, they are simply satisfied with the size of their current balls.

By: Andy's Gross Wart

Andy's Gross Wart — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 17:01:26 -0800

Wow, this creature is nature's version of Inspector Gadget. If every male human had a built in tent, raincoat, canoe, fishing net and beanbag chair, REI would go out of business.

By: BrnP84

BrnP84 — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 20:26:45 -0800

Those raccoon dogs don't tea bag, they potato sack.

By: Hoopo

Hoopo — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 22:32:33 -0800

I think I saw one of these things once when I was living in Japan, but the guy I was hanging out with that night didn't think so. It was fast like a cat, and about the size of a cat, but a little bit longer and the legs were all wrong. And the balls? I dunno, what's wrong with you people?

By: cirocco

cirocco — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 11:20:29 -0800

And you should really see Heisei Tanuki Gassen Pompoko, or, as I've heard it translated, The Heisei Tanuki War, a fictionalized telling of the destruction of a tanuki habitat near Tokyo, in order to build a wide swath of soulless, nigh identical concrete apartment blocks. I saw this many years back at the Seattle International Film Festival, where it was billed as The Raccoon War. I was fond of the works of Hayao Miyazaki and therefore ignorantly expecting something Totoro-like. Imagine how flabbergasted I was the first time that the animals' testicles grew to monster proportions. I don't think Totoro even has testicles, or if he does, they sure as hell don't come up in his movie. I recall that the "raccoons" bounced along on their balls for locomotion, crushed their enemies beneath them, and at least once used their sacs as parachutes during an assault from the air. SIFF audiences are so deathly respectful that no one dared to laugh, or maybe I was just the only one in the theater who had no idea what she was getting into. Anyway, I never knew that the "raccoons" in the movie were not actually raccoons, but rare and primitive canids, nor that the testicle-expansion thing was the stuff of legend. It seemed inexplicable that the Japanese cared that much about vermin (I can't imagine an American movie dealing with the habitat destruction of, say, opossums or rats) and that a tragic storyline would have giant nutsacs as a major plot point. So this was enlightening; thanks, Marisa!

By: grobstein

grobstein — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 10:56:00 -0800

I sort of wish this was my introduction to Raccoon Dogs, but noooooo. PETA had/has a video of them being skinned alive I had the misfortune to see. Thanks, PETA, you're a swell! You're blaming PETA for this? I think some of the responsibility belongs to the people who skinned them alive.

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 11:45:42 -0800

Oh, don't be thick. I support a good deal of the platform at PETA, but not as not many of their promotional practices, like going to the lengths of circulating horrible, haunting videos as a means to generate impotent outrage, and guilt. So there's a highly unethical raccoondog fur industry in China. I already don't support it. I already don't buy fur or farmed meat. Why would it help to see this? I honestly don't suggest you watch their video, but I wanted to review their framing of it, see what it is they suggest we make of it. They suggest we use it as a reminder to harass fur-wearers. I would far rather activism, even anti-fur activism, be motivated by rational thought than sheer revulsion and guilt. There's something disrespectful to us and these little critters in the overdistribution of this callous and upsetting imagery.

By: grobstein

grobstein — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 20:48:56 -0800

I would far rather activism, even anti-fur activism, be motivated by rational thought than sheer revulsion and guilt. These are not exclusive options, so I disagree. I think videos like that serve a purpose similar to those in the Holocaust museum in DC. Obviously we don't have to go over this here.

By: not_on_display

not_on_display — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 21:06:53 -0800

Anchors Aweigh? More like Wankers Aweigh, amirite? * dodging thrown fruit *