Comments on: Pareidolia 2008

Pareidolia 2008

finite — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:46:11 -0800

And finally tonight, Jesus...

By: finite

finite — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:48:10 -0800

By: HuronBob

HuronBob — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:58:39 -0800

6 minutes of crazy jesus people was too much for me... I bailed about 30 seconds.

By: mr_roboto

mr_roboto — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 17:59:24 -0800

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW?!!?!

By: Slarty Bartfast

Slarty Bartfast — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:00:03 -0800

He's in the ice cream.

By: Max Power

Max Power — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:02:44 -0800

Its like an advertisement for stupid.

By: maudlin

maudlin — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:06:14 -0800

How come no one ever sees Jesus in a Communion wafer?

By: kolophon

kolophon — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:06:24 -0800

I love how enthusiastic the reporters appear to be, reporting on these recurring miracles all the time...

By: The White Hat

The White Hat — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:07:53 -0800

Jesus wept.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:08:03 -0800

What about booger Jesus?

By: fatbaq

fatbaq — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:10:36 -0800

the "frying pan Jesus from Texas" at around the 2:20 mark was impressive.

By: Lipstick Thespian

Lipstick Thespian — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:11:29 -0800

I got maybe about halfway through this before I threw up a little in my mouth, Jesus.

By: You Should See the Other Guy

You Should See the Other Guy — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:12:10 -0800

Holy fuck religious people are stupid.

By: MrVisible

MrVisible — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:12:37 -0800

I want to see a holy war break out between the Cattites and the Toastites, arguing which is the one true Jesus. While the tiny splinter sect, the Bucket-of-Filthites waits in the wings to take on the winner while they are weak.

By: TwelveTwo

TwelveTwo — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:13:03 -0800

Finally!

By: Sova

Sova — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:14:10 -0800

Is Jesus shy?

By: Flunkie

Flunkie — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:14:11 -0800

"Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not." - Jesus (purportedly)

By: chococat

chococat — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:16:17 -0800

It's funny how people always say it's Jesus and not, say, Kenny Rogers or the guy from Home Improvement or cortex for that matter. A member of Deep Purple? You know? It's never, "holy shit, it's Dennis Wilson from the Beach Boys on my toast."

By: ob

ob — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:16:53 -0800

LOL XTAINS AMIRITE?

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:17:43 -0800

I love this fucking video. So much. Think how many more places people would see Jesus if you could nip down to the corner store for a couple grams of weed. I don't know if that's an argument for, or against, legalization.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:18:48 -0800

If my personal saviour was such an attention whore that he'd actually play a cheese sandwich, I'm not sure I'd be advertising it.

By: HuronBob

HuronBob — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:21:23 -0800

Now I know why I love It's Raining Florence Henderson.

By: kid ichorous

kid ichorous — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:21:45 -0800

Most Matzoh balls knew better than to pull this graven image shit with Mohammed, but #B32361 was different.

By: blahblah

blahblah — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:22:35 -0800

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By: mannequito

mannequito — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:23:42 -0800

Garcia says he quit smoking and drinking after he found the Jesus Rock ... which he cooked up in his Jesus Spoon.

By: ob

ob — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:24:02 -0800

OK, I should however confess that when I was brainstorming for band names a few years ago I did think up "Cumstain Christ". We didn't go with it.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:24:03 -0800

WHAT ABOUT BOOGER JESUS?!?

By: Max Power

Max Power — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:25:24 -0800

Holy shit! its Brian Wilson!

By: pianomover

pianomover — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:25:46 -0800

I crapped a perfect likeness of Elvis.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:26:11 -0800

WHAT ABOUT BOOGER JESUS?!? You thought it was Jesus but it's snot.

By: ob

ob — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:28:39 -0800

Also, Christ what an asshole.

By: mannequito

mannequito — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:31:31 -0800

HuronBob, do yourself a favor and hold on (or skip ahead) to about four minutes in. That's when they start talking about the phenomenon of cheese buns resembling J.C. and the story of how the Internet caught on and dubbed them 'Cheesus'. Hollywood couldn't make that shit up.

By: otolith

otolith — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:34:42 -0800

Is this the man you saw?

By: YoBananaBoy

YoBananaBoy — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:39:34 -0800

Jesus Waffle.

By: nola

nola — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:42:45 -0800

Jesus Christ

By: found missing

found missing — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:43:52 -0800

No, he looked more like this.

By: agregoli

agregoli — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:51:42 -0800

What a horrific amount of "news time" devoted to that.

By: telstar

telstar — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 18:57:57 -0800

Isn't that ASCII David Crosby?

By: jamstigator

jamstigator — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:00:03 -0800

I've been stricken preachless by watching that.

By: JoeXIII007

JoeXIII007 — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:01:48 -0800

Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing* that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth... Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me *Including but not limited to Cheetos, wood, oil spills, frost in the freezer/ice machines, moths, spoons, grilled cheese, cement, potatoes, windows, frying pans, tree bark, pancakes, ultrasounds, salsa, cinnamon buns, buckets, shirts, CRT burns, clouds, sinks, sticks, sandwiches, turtle shells, and rocks.

By: kaspen

kaspen — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:01:54 -0800

Ahh, from one brief moment I'd forgotten that Everything is Terrible. Thanks finite!

By: dawson

dawson — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:16:06 -0800

HAHAHA..funny, that silly fake Jesus everyone pisses on! LOL!LOL!LOL! I'm tired of this shit.

By: tula

tula — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:16:17 -0800

Jesus in toast is harmless, it's the damn bats and manta rays swooping out of the sky that worry me.

By: adipocere

adipocere — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:21:39 -0800

It's funny how nobody ever sees Jesus in a urinal cake.

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:21:45 -0800

The Catholic population of the United States has shifted away from the Northeast and towards the Southwest, while secularity continues to grow in strength in all regions of the country, according to a new study conducted by the Program on Public Values at Trinity College. Shocking! Trinity University finds Catholicism to still be relevant! What next, Oral Roberts University finds that Evangelicals love Jesus?

By: tellurian

tellurian — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:22:01 -0800

Oh! Acheiropoieta, but what's this got to do with Danah Boyd?

By: kid ichorous

kid ichorous — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:23:52 -0800

You can print this comments out and call Fox News. or eBay it... +--- A RaZoR - 1911 - ReLeAsE ---+ +-------------------------------------+ ~ 0 ~ DAY ~ 0 ~ DAY ~ 0 ~ DAY ~ ~- BIBLE QUEST IV -~ ~- KING OF KINGS -~ * Cracked by NEM0 * * Leviticus add-on INSTALLED! by kosm0naut *

By: Emperor SnooKloze

Emperor SnooKloze — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:26:47 -0800

Jesus is frequently delicious.

By: hortense

hortense — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:37:04 -0800

Jesus Built My Hotrod

By: Secret Life of Gravy

Secret Life of Gravy — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:40:04 -0800

Jesus Crust.

By: tellurian

tellurian — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:42:59 -0800

I'm not sure about the value of this post but it did lead me to the story of Chonosuke Okamura.

Of one mini-fossilised rock he writes: "Two totally naked homos, facing each other, are moving their hands and feet harmoniously. We can only think of dancing in a present-day style."

So thank you for that.

By: cjorgensen

cjorgensen — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:54:14 -0800

Human interest stories will be our downfall.

By: Falconetti

Falconetti — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 19:58:14 -0800

The best was when the newsanchor goes "Jesus...or a bucket of filth?!"

By: mannequito

mannequito — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 20:03:45 -0800

You gotta wonder, for every Jesus-item reported there's probably 5 or 10 fat bastards who see a face looking up at them out of their chocolate cake and just dive in, and after they feel too guilty to tell anyone. Would you want to admit to eating a whole Jesus in under two minutes?

By: emelenjr

emelenjr — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 20:27:18 -0800

I have a Jesus fish in my pants.

By: ioesf

ioesf — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 20:32:44 -0800

"i'm already there." i'm the whisper in the wind. i'm the shadow on the ground.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 20:46:41 -0800

well, you got jesus in a spoon but all i got is the devil in mine well, you got jesus in a spoon but all i got is the devil in mine just a little shot and that devil makes me feel fine hmmmm - dire, but doable

By: jeremy b

jeremy b — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 20:48:50 -0800

I once spotted what was *unmistakably* the likeness of a driveway oil stain in a painting of the nativity scene.

By: StickyCarpet

StickyCarpet — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:08:13 -0800

What about booger Jesus? posted by Meatbomb While we're on the theological booger tip, I'm reminded of the the time in third grade that I asked a nun in Catechism class (back when you had to fast overnight before communion) if eating a booger counted as breaking your fast. She said eating was putting anything in your mouth and swallowing. But what if, I asked, you were to snort the booger into your mouth, then spit it up in the air without touching it, and then caught it in your mouth, and swallowed it? Does that count? She sent me to the principal's office.

By: Salvor Hardin

Salvor Hardin — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:29:44 -0800

"Some people said they couldn't see it. I don't know if it's the spiritual level you have to be at to appreciate this picture or...." Level up!

By: liza

liza — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:39:13 -0800

cheesus? loving the fact most of these come from FOX affiliates :P

By: Kronos_to_Earth

Kronos_to_Earth — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:40:11 -0800

Maybe consecrated oil was used in the manufacture of one notable lava lamp....

By: empath

empath — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 21:42:49 -0800

Once a bunch of my friends where sitting on my parents back porch and I was kind of looking at one of their shirts and I giggled (oh yeah we were all on acid, which is kind of important the story). My friend was like what are you giggling at? And I was like "nothing, just the picture of jim morrison on your shirt is tripping me out". So he looks down and was like, "What the fuuck maan this is just a plain whi... WHAT THE FUCK MAN THE SPIRIT OF JIMMY IS ON ME!" and he takes off running into the yard yelling that over and over trying to wipe jim morrison's ghost off him and we laughed and laughed. I guess what I'm saying is that religion is a hell of a drug.

By: Smedleyman

Smedleyman — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 22:24:50 -0800

They did say Christ would return. Apparently in thousands of cameos embedded in mundane objects. Who saw that one coming? Not me. Thief in the night thing going on there I guess. But I've got a shotgun and I think a thief wouldn't get very far in my house. I'm not saying I'd shoot Jesus, but in the night, you don't know who it is. Maybe it's a dog. But dogs don't appear in images in mundane objects. Or at least it's not foretold in the bible that dogs will return to the house like thieves in the night. And you can't shoot 'em. Dogs I mean. Not your own dog anyway. Not unless they're sick and dying. And even then Jesus, if he's back, he could heal them. So, uh...what the hell am I talking about?

By: gompa

gompa — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:02:03 -0800

That's just, like, your opinion, man.

By: mmmleaf

mmmleaf — Mon, 09 Mar 2009 23:54:58 -0800

In eighth grade, some of the ninth graders (my school is 7-12 jr high/high school) spread a rumor that the pope decreed that the image of the virgin mary would appear on every home's microwave plate for two weeks. During art class, two kids ran into the classroom to check the plate, and were crying because they thought they saw it. My art teacher waited for them to leave and then picked it up, and said, "I guess if you wipe the grease this way...." Later we checked all the teacher's microwaves, saw nothing. As a dirty heathen I wasn't even sure if I knew what the Virgin Mary looked like. Later the truth came out, obviously.

By: terranova

terranova — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 01:00:22 -0800

Who are Jesus' marketing people? And why are they concentrating so downmarket? For 2009, I'd urge a radical demographic shift: Jesus on Escalade fenders; Jesus on Moet Chandon corks; Jesus on Tiffany engagement rings... They're already hemorrhaging market share. Upmarket before it's too late!

By: bwg

bwg — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 05:56:26 -0800

"Yew kin see the haylow over his hayed." Haysoos!

By: fcummins

fcummins — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 06:08:38 -0800

I don't care if it rains or freezes...

By: champthom

champthom — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 06:13:44 -0800

Christ, what an asshole.

By: Reverend John

Reverend John — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 06:14:18 -0800

How come no one ever sees Jesus in a Communion wafer? posted by maudlin at 6:06 PM on March 9 Look, if we crucified you, buried you, you rose from the dead and started appearing all zombie-apparition like to your pals, assumed you into heaven, then brought you back in the form of a loaf of bread that we blessed and cut up into quarter sized wafers, do you think anyone would recognize you?

By: Pollomacho

Pollomacho — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 07:12:56 -0800

How come no one ever sees Jesus in a Communion wafer? Trick question! Answer: because Jesus is the communion wafer!

By: storybored

storybored — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 09:45:14 -0800

No, the wafer is the body of Christ. The wine is the blood. So you have to mix the two and then stir it with quickness.

By: found missing

found missing — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 09:49:22 -0800

Funny story. I once got kicked out of IHOP for trying to make Ice Christ, with non-dairy creamer, fake maple syrup, a shaker of salt, two glasses of ice water, and a communion wafer that I sneaked out of church.

By: caution live frogs

caution live frogs — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 09:54:49 -0800

I was embarrassed to recognize the logo of one of my local stations, introducing the Jesus Kitty. Also, the mention partway through of "Jesus on a Stick" made me really wonder about just what exactly they're serving fried at the State Fair this summer.

By: cortex

cortex — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 10:32:25 -0800

It's funny how people always say it's Jesus and not, say, Kenny Rogers or the guy from Home Improvement or cortex for that matter. I don't do product placement.

By: kingbenny

kingbenny — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 13:50:11 -0800

I don't do product placement. posted by cortex at 12:32 PM on March 10 [+] [!] Maybe you oughtta look into it, I've never even heard of you.

By: micklaw

micklaw — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 14:53:32 -0800

Jesus on a stick.......ouch.

By: x_3mta3

x_3mta3 — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 16:08:24 -0800

Jesus on stuff is so last millennium. A couple of months ago I saw James Brown in a smear on a Huddle House window in Augusta, GA. Here's the picture I took of it...

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 17:39:56 -0800

Jesus did say he was the living bread. He also said that if any man eat of this bread, he shall live forever, which seems to indicate that it's a dire mistake to sell your Jesus Toast to Golden Palace Casino. Chow down on Christ, ya idiot, don't sell him!

[Jesus said], I am the Toast, ye are the toasters: He that toasteth me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much peanut butter and jelly: for without me ye can do nothing. If a man abide not in Toast, he is cast forth as a croutons, and is dried up; and men gather them, and stir them into stuffing, and they are placed inside the chicken.

Manna from heaven, I tell ya.

By: tehloki

tehloki — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 00:15:24 -0800

hahahaha hahahahaha cheesus hahahahhahaa seriously how do these people live

By: jtron

jtron — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 22:10:49 -0800

Tim Kreider's face found in bathroom tile