instant classic.
posted by facetious at 3:48 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

I've always wondered why hamsters like wheels. Still have no idea.
posted by doctor_negative at 3:52 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

there's a good science fiction story in here somewhere. Mr. Scribbles and Admiral Poofynips Duel in Hyperspace!
posted by es_de_bah at 3:55 PM on September 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

Best of the web?
No.
This is *why* the web was invented. What it's all been leading up to.
We can all go home now.
posted by uosuaq at 4:00 PM on September 4, 2012 [7 favorites]

> I've always wondered why hamsters like wheels. Still have no idea.

Ain't much to do in the average hamster cage.
posted by "But who are the Chefs?" at 4:00 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

With  varying  great success!
posted by evidenceofabsence at 4:02 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

If I had a people wheel, I would totally spin it up and then just fall down in it and go round and round like that. On purpose.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:02 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Hamster centrifuge

Hamstrifuge, certainly.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:04 PM on September 4, 2012 [24 favorites]

That was great. Just what I needed to help face the last 3 hours of a 12 hour shift.
posted by Captain_Science at 4:06 PM on September 4, 2012

Hamstrifuge, certainly.

It's used to separate the different hamstertopes, which have different densities. This prevents critical hamster reactions, which could trigger a hamstpocolypse.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:07 PM on September 4, 2012 [23 favorites]

"Burt, Burt, come up here, you gotta try this thing!"
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 4:10 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

i think anyone who just walked by my open really want to know what i was just watching.

The person who sits to my right leaned over to ask what I was laughing at.
posted by Egg Shen at 4:11 PM on September 4, 2012

GenjiandProust: "Hamstrifuge, certainly.

It's used to separate the different hamstertopes, which have different densities. This prevents critical hamster reactions, which could trigger a hamstpocolypse."

Not so much. People like you are the reason we don't have further advances in hamster-based alternative energy. People like you are killing the world.
posted by Samizdata at 4:11 PM on September 4, 2012 [5 favorites]

After completing a spin cycle, little dude just hops out and goes to nom some seeds?
Somewhere in their genetic makeup, there is the answer to motion sickness.
5. Profit!

Look at the teensy feets go!!
posted by likeso at 4:13 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Now there's a way to introduce some genuine randomness into a game of roulette.
posted by XMLicious at 4:22 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
posted by brundlefly at 4:23 PM on September 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

How do I make a gif from this?
posted by Decimask at 4:25 PM on September 4, 2012

I think there's some kind of political commentary at work here. The 2012 Presidential campaign season: one wheel, two parties, no one really gets anywhere.
posted by Fizz at 4:27 PM on September 4, 2012

I liked the video with the audio muted, instead substituting A Bag of Rags as a soundtrack.
posted by CancerMan at 4:29 PM on September 4, 2012 [1 favorite]

Two hamster enter. One hamster fly out.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 4:31 PM on September 4, 2012 [4 favorites]

Thanks. I needed that! I had a similar experience on a County Fair Tilt-a-Whirl in Minnesota, once. Once.
posted by steef at 4:32 PM on September 4, 2012

This one time I was running on a plate and I was all "Weeeeeeeee!" Then my friend jumped on and we were like "Weeeeeeeeeeee!"
posted by ShutterBun at 4:32 PM on September 4, 2012 [9 favorites]

That was all kinds of perfect. Thanks!
posted by rtha at 4:34 PM on September 4, 2012

Hamsters gonna ham.
posted by punkfloyd at 4:35 PM on September 4, 2012 [5 favorites]

This one time I was running on a plate and I was all "Weeeeeeeee!" Then my friend jumped on and we were like "Weeeeeeeeeeee!"

Gonads and Strife!!!!
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 4:36 PM on September 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

HOLD ON TO YOUR LITTLE GONADS
posted by elizardbits at 4:37 PM on September 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

Whoa. I love roller coasters. I love fast cars and motorcycles. I love bungee jumping. But spinning roundandroundanroundandround? No thanks. I was having sympathy nausea for those little guys.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 4:37 PM on September 4, 2012

godDAMMIT pogo
posted by elizardbits at 4:38 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

I imagine this is what a hamster drug freak out is like.
posted by The Whelk at 4:38 PM on September 4, 2012

I've worked in an office like that.
posted by mhoye at 4:43 PM on September 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

What, no Hampster Dance soundtrack???
posted by LordSludge at 4:45 PM on September 4, 2012

Contemporary American politics: two hamsters attempting to navigate a spinning wheel, with varying degrees of success.
posted by googly at 4:50 PM on September 4, 2012

meanwhile, 10 Parsecs out...
posted by ennui.bz at 4:55 PM on September 4, 2012

JAAAANE! STOP THIS CRAZY THING! HELP! JAAAAAAAAAANE!!
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:02 PM on September 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

Needs more Richard Gere.
posted by helmutdog at 5:03 PM on September 4, 2012 [3 favorites]

Those hams know what they're doing. They obviously really enjoy that spinning business - look how they keep doing it over and over.

They're carnival hams, with a need for speed.
posted by winna at 5:21 PM on September 4, 2012

Smaller scale of course but this is how they get that pink slurry from cows.
posted by hal9k at 5:24 PM on September 4, 2012

Scientists today reported that with the help of the Large Hamstron Collider the existence of the Cute Boson has been confirmed.
posted by sparklemotion at 5:34 PM on September 4, 2012 [25 favorites]

I patted the space next to me in my chair and called to my four-year-old daughter. "Come over here. You'll want to see this."

She settled in and I started the video. The first hamster lost it, and my daughter let out a booming laugh. Both hamsters began to spin uncontrollably, and she started with those wracking, only-in-childhood belly laughs which affirm why I wanted a kid in my life. Shortly before the dismount, she let out a loud, squealing fart and laughed at herself for farting.

"Can we watch that again?" she asked me with tears in her eyes.

Thanks for posting this!
posted by Mayor Curley at 5:51 PM on September 4, 2012 [34 favorites]

"This is fun. I'm running. Running, running. I love running."
"Let's make this fucker go fast!"
"Wait."
"FASTER, PUSSY!"
"Wait. Dave!"
"WHOOOOO!"
"Dave, stop. DAAAAAVE! DAAAAAAAAAAVE!"


What? One of the hamsters is named Dave. Get over yourself.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:52 PM on September 4, 2012 [4 favorites]

How much wood chip could a hamster upchuck if a hamster could upchuck wood chip?
posted by cjorgensen at 6:32 PM on September 4, 2012

Run on opposite sides, you idiots. Opposite sides! Otherwise, one of you will have to work harder and then you...oh dammit, did it again.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 6:34 PM on September 4, 2012

This is the best thing I have ever seen.
posted by found missing at 6:36 PM on September 4, 2012

Neato! I've never seen a hamster "wheel" like that, only the perpendicular (or enclosed ball variety).

When mice are tested on the Morris Water Maze to assess memory acquisition, memory recall, and memory extinction they rely a lot on visual cues to identify where the hidden platform is. I wonder how badly running on a treadmill messes up hamster's perceptions since the wheel simulates natural nocturnal exploratory/foraging behaviour?

Also, do hamsters spend half the night running in one direction, then switch it up and run the rest of the night in the opposite direction?
posted by porpoise at 6:56 PM on September 4, 2012

Great, now we have to get a hamster.
posted by arcticseal at 7:26 PM on September 4, 2012 [2 favorites]

Ooh, the mice at my local pet supply store do this, but on a vertical wheel. They don't spin a million times around because the gravity slows them down a lot quicker than these hamsters on the horizontal wheel, but it's still pretty funny to see them loop the loop upside down and then just keep running.

Did anyone else ever do the dizzy bat thing as a kid, where you spin and spin and then try to walk a straight line? I really wanted to see if that hamster could walk straight at the end, or if he would accidentally veer left. "I swear, I really am trying to walk straight!!!"
posted by vytae at 7:41 PM on September 4, 2012

I herewith bring you one of the best paragraphs ever (which manages to be hilarious and heartbreaking at the same time), written by Alice Thomas Ellis:

"Men love women. Women love children. Children love hamsters. Hamsters don't love anybody."
posted by ricochet biscuit at 7:53 PM on September 4, 2012 [7 favorites]

Is that thing motorized?
posted by cjorgensen at 8:01 PM on September 4, 2012

no
posted by found missing at 8:24 PM on September 4, 2012

Two Hamsters One Bowl
posted by The Potate at 8:25 PM on September 4, 2012 [5 favorites]

Double. I even stole it from here to put it on Facebook!
posted by Curious Artificer at 8:38 PM on September 4, 2012

Mister Moofoo: If I had a people wheel, I would totally spin it up and then just fall down in it and go round and round like that. On purpose.

From your emphasis on 'purpose', you sort of imply that the hamsters are doing it accidentally, and I'm not convinced of that. They might be doing it for fun, just as deliberately as you would.

After all, they don't get off the wheel when it happens, they just start running again.
posted by Malor at 9:05 PM on September 4, 2012

I've always wondered why hamsters like wheels. Still have no idea.
posted by doctor_negative

I was wondering about that just the other night and came up with nothing.

But then porpoise said:

I wonder how badly running on a treadmill messes up hamster's perceptions since the wheel simulates natural nocturnal exploratory/foraging behaviour?

Also, do hamsters spend half the night running in one direction, then switch it up and run the rest of the night in the opposite direction?

and that made me think of something.

When animals want to go a distance in a straight line, they can do it by maintaining a fixed angular orientation to a distant object, sort of like the rising moon seems to keep up with you as you're driving down a long, straight country road at night-- and moths use the moon just that way, which is why they can get stuck flying around and round your porch light at night: they're keeping the same angle to a light which isn't far away. Birds are vulnerable to the warning lights on wind-power turbines for the same reason.

Hamsters running around in a wheel-less cage can't maintain a fixed angular orientation to anything outside their cage, but hamsters on a wheel maintain a fixed angular orientation to everything, and that might allow them to feel (in an instinct-satisfying kind of way) that they're really getting somewhere (including away out of that cage perhaps) when they run on the wheel, and they like that.
posted by jamjam at 10:02 PM on September 4, 2012 [6 favorites]

Interesting, it does indeed look as if hamsters do not get dizzy. If we can find out how they avoid motion sickness this could transform ocean travel, indeed even space travel itself. I hope that everyone at NASA is watching this video right now.
posted by fallingbadgers at 10:30 PM on September 4, 2012

Apparently I just passed the age where I transition from "cute youtube videos meh" to "omg look at the cute youtube videos!"
posted by davejay at 11:56 PM on September 4, 2012

:(

I miss my robos.
posted by MikeKD at 1:04 AM on September 5, 2012

Thank you for this. Thank you so very, very much.

*wipes eyes, clutches sides, restarts video*
posted by kinnakeet at 5:24 AM on September 5, 2012

This is what teamwork feels like sometimes.
posted by tommasz at 5:51 AM on September 5, 2012 [4 favorites]

Mister Moofoo: If I had a people wheel, I would totally spin it up and then just fall down in it and go round and round like that.

That would probably end up looking a lot like this. (Warning, do not try this stunt at home. Also, ouch, that looks painful)
posted by hanov3r at 7:48 AM on September 5, 2012

I like the part where the one hamster has fallen down and the other one is still running and has to jump over the fallen-down one every time it comes around.
posted by not that girl at 8:07 AM on September 5, 2012 [1 favorite]

Malor: I did think about that, that they may have been falling down and getting spun for fun. But I was emphasizing that I would fall down on purpose, rather than through my own not-unremarkable clumsiness. It's amazing all the ways people (myself, for instance) can be unclear that we never even consider. :)

hanov3r: That there is one poorly-thought-out idea, and that wheel is seriously not designed for that. I submit that the hamster-wheel is probably not scalable to human size, for reasons of mass at least. Note, however, that I said 'probably'. There's that rolly-ball thing they use for VR-stuff, for instance, but those don't seem to be able to get all that spinny.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 4:00 PM on September 5, 2012

sparklemotion: "Scientists today reported that with the help of the Large Hamstron Collider the existence of the Cute Boson has been confirmed."

But, did they doublecheck for wiring faults? That rig looked pretty homemade.
posted by Samizdata at 5:29 PM on September 5, 2012

It is so cute haha =)
posted by maliciaflore at 5:40 AM on September 6, 2012